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Monday, October 14, 2019

Recent News

Technical/Operations

City of Calgary to twin Peace Bridge with half of $52M...

CALGARY, Alberta - The City of Calgary announced yesterday that it will spend roughly half of the $52M budget surplus on twinning the Peace...

Oil and gas producing companies need more IT/IS, HR, and accounting...

We all know that an oil and gas producing company comprises a wide range of professionals (both technical and non-technical), support staff, field staff,...

Government

Lifestyle

Geology/Geophysics

BREAKING NEWS: Geophysicist Bre-X’d after 3 dry wells

CALGARY, Alberta - Breaking news this Monday morning here in Oil City.  A tragic death over the weekend has now been reclassified from an...

Geologists make startling discovery, CBC outraged with denial

CALGARY, Alberta - There is a universal question that most people ask when they meet a geologist. What can you tell me about dinosaurs?...

Study: Rectilinear contouring eliminates need for geologists

CALGARY, Alberta - Calgary-based Bendovus Energy recently fired all of its geologists when a task force of engineers undertook an informal study that proved...

Fat geologists perform better than thin geologists: Study

CALGARY, Alberta - In a landmark 20-year study, the Canadian Institute of Corpulence in Rotund, Manitoba revealed that well-upholstered geologists performed their tasks marginally...

Geologist assaulted for teasing MWD staff

CALGARY, Alberta - A senior wellsite geologist has been hospitalized after a violent incident on a drilling rig in northern Alberta last night. Ricky Rockerson...

5 Things everyone should know about geologists (Part II)

<This article was originally published sometime in 2014, but after making some changes to it (based on feedback from some angry readers), it is...

Norse Gods form Midgard Geophysical Services

THULE, Greenland - The Norse god Thor announced today that he and a group of other Asgardians have incorporated a new geophysical services company, Midgard...

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Dear Andy

Dear Andy: What’s the best way to cure a Stampede...

Dear Andy: My name is Steve and I spent the last week being paraded around like a trophy catch by vendors who aren't really good...

Environment

Consultant proposes digging holes on well leases to bury dirt

EDMONTON, Alberta - A new concept in environmental management has surfaced near the town of Barndoor in Southeastern Alberta this week.  After dealing with...

People's Choice Articles

Scientists invent a process to convert formation water into light oil

CALGARY, Alberta - In a remarkable scientific breakthrough, 2 scientists from the research labs at...

GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making

CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been...

Geologist finds a strong best fit through an amorphous cloud on poro-perm plot

CALGARY, Alberta - There is no question that geology is a subjective science that is...

No pipelines, no trains, just Ass

HARDISTY, Alberta - Pipelines leak.  Got it.  Trains derail.  Got it.  So what is the...

Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons

CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the...

HR department develops online survey to assess effectiveness of online surveys

CALGARY, Alberta - The Human Resources department of an intermediate oil and gas producer headquartered...

Former oil company executive relegated to greeter

CALGARY, Alberta -The ever growing price differential for bitumen continues to squeeze the netbacks for...

Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map

HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool...

Aliens vs. Geophysicists – Vibratory Revenge: Movie Review

The Bottom Line This geophyical, sci-fi revenge fantasy thriller fails to deliver on all fronts. Director-Screenwriter Francis Birch Cast Brad...

Anne Hydrite and Ray Tracing – A love story

Anne Hydrite first laid eyes on Ray Tracing at an oil and gas convention in...

Back in the Day

Engineers. Love ’em or hate ’em, you likely gotta deal with...

Engineers. If you live in Calgary, there is a good chance you are an engineer, you are married to an engineer, you work with...

Engineer rearranges contents of dishwasher to optimize dirty dish density

CALGARY, Alberta - After seeing his visiting mother-in-law load the dishwasher following a rather large Sunday afternoon family dinner, Anton McKnight, a Petrophysical Engineer...

Production tech goes for coffee on the way back from going...

CALGARY, Alberta - On his way back from a 45 minute morning coffee run with 3 of his production engineering colleagues at Subterra Resources...

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