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Tuesday, June 18, 2019

Recent News

Trudeau purchases CNRL, restructuring revealed!

CALGARY, Alberta - Breaking news this morning as federal Liberals have announced the purchase of Canadian Natural Resources Limited by the Canadian Federal Government. The...

Technical/Operations

IT department implements new security measures, 27% of staff quit

CALGARY, Alberta (AP) - Information Technology - a term that strikes fear in staff who work for the majority of oil and gas operators...

City of Calgary to close Deerfoot Trail as ring road construction...

CALGARY, Alberta - The City of Calgary announced today that it plans to permanently close Deerfoot Trail in 2015 after the SE section of...

Government

Lifestyle

Geology/Geophysics

Scientists Admit that the Earth is Flat After All

LONDON, England - In perhaps the most astonishing mea culpa in recorded history, representatives of all the major scientific organizations issued a joint statement...

Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map

HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool Resources, inadvertently stumbled across a potential new type of...

Breaking News! New seismic wave discovered

CLEVELAND, Ohio - A group of scientists at the Earth Motion Laboratory in Shaker Heights, Ohio announced today the discovery of a new type...

Geologists can perform basic arithmetic, study says: ‘We engineers are not the only sophisticated...

The peanut-shaped brain of a geologist is roughly the size of 2 or 3 medium sized chicken wings. It contains fewer than 1 thousand...

PNG golf tournament delayed when geologist stumbles upon rocks

CALGARY, Alberta - Play stopped yesterday at the Sphincter Ridge golf course in northeast Calgary.  The Petroleum Exploration & Explanation Association hosts its golf...

Porosity exchange theory gaining traction with geologists

CALGARY, Alberta - A group of scientifical geologists with the Canadian Geofantasy Network are postulating a theory that is starting to gain traction within...

Long Island Medium star consults for Cheaterson Energy in Texas

DALLAS, Texas - Theresa Caputo, star of TLC's hit reality TV show Long Island Medium, recently signed a 12 month contract with Cheaterson Energy...

Calgary Weather

Calgary
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Most Commented

Dear Andy

Dear Andy: I love my job but hate my boss....

Dear Andy: My name is Douglas Froob.  I have a serious and ongoing problem with my manager at the office.  The guys is a complete...

Environment

Notley Government: We don’t need pipelines, OIL FLOATS!

New petroleum transport mechanism will revolutionize the midstream industry. Concept has special interest eco-terrorists group members quaking in their hemp-laced Birkenstocks. EDMONTON, Alberta -...

People's Choice Articles

Scientists invent a process to convert formation water into light oil

CALGARY, Alberta - In a remarkable scientific breakthrough, 2 scientists from the research labs at...

GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making

CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been...

Geologist finds a strong best fit through an amorphous cloud on poro-perm plot

CALGARY, Alberta - There is no question that geology is a subjective science that is...

No pipelines, no trains, just Ass

HARDISTY, Alberta - Pipelines leak.  Got it.  Trains derail.  Got it.  So what is the...

Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons

CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the...

HR department develops online survey to assess effectiveness of online surveys

CALGARY, Alberta - The Human Resources department of an intermediate oil and gas producer headquartered...

Former oil company executive relegated to greeter

CALGARY, Alberta -The ever growing price differential for bitumen continues to squeeze the netbacks for...

Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map

HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool...

Aliens vs. Geophysicists – Vibratory Revenge: Movie Review

The Bottom Line This geophyical, sci-fi revenge fantasy thriller fails to deliver on all fronts. Director-Screenwriter Francis Birch Cast Brad...

Anne Hydrite and Ray Tracing – A love story

Anne Hydrite first laid eyes on Ray Tracing at an oil and gas convention in...

Back in the Day

Engineers. Love ’em or hate ’em, you likely gotta deal with...

Engineers. If you live in Calgary, there is a good chance you are an engineer, you are married to an engineer, you work with...

Engineer rearranges contents of dishwasher to optimize dirty dish density

CALGARY, Alberta - After seeing his visiting mother-in-law load the dishwasher following a rather large Sunday afternoon family dinner, Anton McKnight, a Petrophysical Engineer...

Production tech goes for coffee on the way back from going...

CALGARY, Alberta - On his way back from a 45 minute morning coffee run with 3 of his production engineering colleagues at Subterra Resources...

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