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Tuesday, May 21, 2019

Recent News

VP of HR fired for using excessive buzzwords in company-wide email

The Disassociated Press - Calgary-based Bendovus Energy's stock surged in early morning trading shortly after straight-talking President and CEO, Bruce Richardson, fired his VP...

Technical/Operations

Rodecker Smith Takes Medical Leave from 2P News

CALGARY, Alberta - Dr. Darcy Flowman and Mr. Antoine McGuilicuddy, co-founders of 2P News, jointly announced that staffer Rodecker Smith is on medical leave...

Dam Hydro! releases study damning Hydro-Electric power

DAMSHPILL New Brunswick - Hydro-Electric power plants are a staple on waterways in the developed world.  Rivers and streams, when properly blockaded with concrete...

Government

Lifestyle

Geology/Geophysics

Geologists can perform basic arithmetic, study says: ‘We engineers are not the only sophisticated...

The peanut-shaped brain of a geologist is roughly the size of 2 or 3 medium sized chicken wings. It contains fewer than 1 thousand...

Massive Asteroid to Strike Earth; Geologists Delighted

PASADENA, Texas - The National Aeronautics and Space Administration held a press conference today warning of an imminent collision between Earth and a massive...

PNG golf tournament delayed when geologist stumbles upon rocks

CALGARY, Alberta - Play stopped yesterday at the Sphincter Ridge golf course in northeast Calgary.  The Petroleum Exploration & Explanation Association hosts its golf...

Geology-inspired Phi-K Doughnuts coming to downtown Calgary this spring

CALGARY, Alberta - Calgary is the hotbed for doughnut shops ranging from the basics at Tim Hortons all the way up to the 2nd-tier...

GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making

CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been able to find rather strong correlations between various sexual...

BREAKING NEWS: Geophysicist Bre-X’d after 3 dry wells

CALGARY, Alberta - Breaking news this Monday morning here in Oil City.  A tragic death over the weekend has now been reclassified from an...

Study: Rectilinear contouring eliminates need for geologists

CALGARY, Alberta - Calgary-based Bendovus Energy recently fired all of its geologists when a task force of engineers undertook an informal study that proved...

Calgary Weather

Calgary
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2P News Staff

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Most Commented

Dear Andy

Dear Annie, I’m surrounded by idiots at work, what can I...

Dear Annie: My name is Candi.  I am an engineer working for a design and integrity firm in Calgary. I work with a large number...

Environment

Hovercraft skirts road ban, drilling continues

PORTLAND, Oregon - Sneakypete Oil Company of Bellylint, Oregon has been developing a recent oil discovery in northern California but has encountered resistance from...

People's Choice Articles

Scientists invent a process to convert formation water into light oil

CALGARY, Alberta - In a remarkable scientific breakthrough, 2 scientists from the research labs at...

GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making

CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been...

Geologist finds a strong best fit through an amorphous cloud on poro-perm plot

CALGARY, Alberta - There is no question that geology is a subjective science that is...

No pipelines, no trains, just Ass

HARDISTY, Alberta - Pipelines leak.  Got it.  Trains derail.  Got it.  So what is the...

Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons

CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the...

HR department develops online survey to assess effectiveness of online surveys

CALGARY, Alberta - The Human Resources department of an intermediate oil and gas producer headquartered...

Former oil company executive relegated to greeter

CALGARY, Alberta -The ever growing price differential for bitumen continues to squeeze the netbacks for...

Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map

HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool...

Aliens vs. Geophysicists – Vibratory Revenge: Movie Review

The Bottom Line This geophyical, sci-fi revenge fantasy thriller fails to deliver on all fronts. Director-Screenwriter Francis Birch Cast Brad...

Anne Hydrite and Ray Tracing – A love story

Anne Hydrite first laid eyes on Ray Tracing at an oil and gas convention in...

Back in the Day

Engineers. Love ’em or hate ’em, you likely gotta deal with...

Engineers. If you live in Calgary, there is a good chance you are an engineer, you are married to an engineer, you work with...

Engineer rearranges contents of dishwasher to optimize dirty dish density

CALGARY, Alberta - After seeing his visiting mother-in-law load the dishwasher following a rather large Sunday afternoon family dinner, Anton McKnight, a Petrophysical Engineer...

Production tech goes for coffee on the way back from going...

CALGARY, Alberta - On his way back from a 45 minute morning coffee run with 3 of his production engineering colleagues at Subterra Resources...

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