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Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Recent News


BREAKING NEWS from the nation's capital! Justin Trudeau announced his resignation from federal politics this morning ahead of Gerald Butts testimony. Rumours abound that...


Prentice: I can balance the budget even at $30 oil!

EDMONTON, Alberta - "A balanced 2015 budget with $45 oil? No problem. Balance budgets through 2020 even if oil was trading at $30? I...

New twist on Alberta distracted driving laws

CALGARY, Alberta - With the unrivaled success of the Distracted Driving program in Alberta, Calgary city council and bylaw division are seeking to expand...



Geologists make startling discovery, CBC outraged with denial

CALGARY, Alberta - There is a universal question that most people ask when they meet a geologist. What can you tell me about dinosaurs?...

Massive Asteroid to Strike Earth; Geologists Delighted

PASADENA, Texas - The National Aeronautics and Space Administration held a press conference today warning of an imminent collision between Earth and a massive...

Geologist-in-Training launches wrongful dismissal suit

CALGARY, Alberta - Zeerana Astransy graduated with honors from the University of Alberta in 2012, and quickly made a move to a development role...

Geologist finds a strong best fit through an amorphous cloud on poro-perm plot

CALGARY, Alberta - There is no question that geology is a subjective science that is open to interpretation. But every now and again, a...

Area geologist undertakes huge mapping project

ROCKY MOUNTAIN HOUSE, Alberta - Airplane hangars.  They are not typically associated with oil and gas other than they are sometimes strategically placed near...

Canadian Space Agency sending geologists to Mars and the Moon to study space rocks

VANCOUVER, British Columbia - Early on the morning of September 30th, 2018, the sky near Cape Couveral, BC, will light up as the United Alliance...

Study: Rectilinear contouring eliminates need for geologists

CALGARY, Alberta - Calgary-based Bendovus Energy recently fired all of its geologists when a task force of engineers undertook an informal study that proved...

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2P News Staff


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Dear Andy

Dear Andy: Ultimate cures for a Stampede hangover

GOOD MORNING!  Too loud?  We know that most of our avid readers, as well as hundreds of thousands of people are suffering right now....


Hovercraft skirts road ban, drilling continues

PORTLAND, Oregon - Sneakypete Oil Company of Bellylint, Oregon has been developing a recent oil discovery in northern California but has encountered resistance from...

People's Choice Articles

Scientists invent a process to convert formation water into light oil

CALGARY, Alberta - In a remarkable scientific breakthrough, 2 scientists from the research labs at...

GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making

CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been...

Geologist finds a strong best fit through an amorphous cloud on poro-perm plot

CALGARY, Alberta - There is no question that geology is a subjective science that is...

No pipelines, no trains, just Ass

HARDISTY, Alberta - Pipelines leak.  Got it.  Trains derail.  Got it.  So what is the...

Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons

CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the...

HR department develops online survey to assess effectiveness of online surveys

CALGARY, Alberta - The Human Resources department of an intermediate oil and gas producer headquartered...

Former oil company executive relegated to greeter

CALGARY, Alberta -The ever growing price differential for bitumen continues to squeeze the netbacks for...

Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map

HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool...

Aliens vs. Geophysicists – Vibratory Revenge: Movie Review

The Bottom Line This geophyical, sci-fi revenge fantasy thriller fails to deliver on all fronts. Director-Screenwriter Francis Birch Cast Brad...

Anne Hydrite and Ray Tracing – A love story

Anne Hydrite first laid eyes on Ray Tracing at an oil and gas convention in...

Back in the Day

Engineers. Love ’em or hate ’em, you likely gotta deal with...

Engineers. If you live in Calgary, there is a good chance you are an engineer, you are married to an engineer, you work with...

Engineer rearranges contents of dishwasher to optimize dirty dish density

CALGARY, Alberta - After seeing his visiting mother-in-law load the dishwasher following a rather large Sunday afternoon family dinner, Anton McKnight, a Petrophysical Engineer...

Production tech goes for coffee on the way back from going...

CALGARY, Alberta - On his way back from a 45 minute morning coffee run with 3 of his production engineering colleagues at Subterra Resources...

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