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Top Ten changes Naheed Nenshi promises to make if elected leader of the Alberta...

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EDMONTON, Alberta - By now we all know that former Calgary mayor, Naheed Nenshi, is vying for the top spot in the Alberta New Demoncratic Party. According to the three-term Calgary City boss, many...

Montreal eco-startup to build first-of-its-kind 175MW wind farm just outside of Sylvan Lake, Alberta

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RED DEER, Alberta - Montreal eco-tech startup, Tabarnak Putain Calice Energy (TPCE) has announced today the start of construction of Connard Merde, a wind project in Red Deer County, just east of Sylvan Lake....

Movie Review: Totally Recalled: Failure to Lead

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“If I wanted to spend 2 hours watching a woman refusing to use logic while arguing, I could have just had lunch with my mother-in-law.” – Ron Chee, Stettler Tribune “I have a...

The City of Calgary announces ‘Ride or Die’ housing plan

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CALGARY, Alberta - Two of the most pressing challenges the City of Calgary faces at the moment are housing and climate change. In an effort to effect positive change on both fronts, city council has...

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Recent News

Calgary city council to introduce DryWash 2000™

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CALGARY, Alberta – Climate Change is effecting all aspects of our lives, and recent years have shown Albertans that water is a precious and...

Alberta University to Offer Social Engineering Program Starting Fall 2024

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EDMONTON, Alberta - The Centre for Analytical New Technology is introducing an undergraduate engineering program next fall to address industry needs. The 15-year old community...

Killer Asteroid from Uranus! 

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Full disclosure:  This article was actually written by an artificial intelligence program, CrapGPT.  KILAUEA, HAWAII – Recently, out of the blue, I received a mysterious...

Dear Andy: I’m forced to go to my staff Holiday party...

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Dear Andy: "My name is Manwell and I’m a mid-level exploitation engineer with a calgary-based junior E&P company. our president is pretty much forcing all...

Calgary-based E&P Start-Up to Explore in the Rockies

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CALGARY, Alberta – Everyone knows the iconic Three Sisters mountains west of the city of Calgary, but what some don’t know is the hollow...

AI decodes what oil and gas professionals really mean when they...

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EDMONTON, Alberta - AI chatbots, such as ChatGPT, are great fun, but they also have very practical uses. For example, it can create bespoke...

Trudeau in hot water for adding personal conditions to the TransMountain...

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Prime Minister's motive to add stricter conditions to support his $&*@ the West, love the East political strategy Canadian Association of Oil &...

Rodecker Smith Takes Medical Leave from 2P News

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CALGARY, Alberta - Dr. Darcy Flowman and Mr. Antoine McGuilicuddy, co-founders of 2P News, jointly announced that staffer Rodecker Smith is on medical leave...

Geology-inspired Phi-K Doughnuts coming to downtown Calgary this spring

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CALGARY, Alberta - Calgary is the hotbed for doughnut shops ranging from the basics at Tim Hortons all the way up to the 2nd-tier...

PNG golf tournament delayed when geologist stumbles upon rocks

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CALGARY, Alberta - Play stopped yesterday at the Sphincter Ridge golf course in northeast Calgary.  The Petroleum Exploration & Explanation Association hosts its golf...

Geophrenologist Claims Ability to Locate Oil and Gas

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LOONEYTUNE, California - The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines phrenology as the study of the conformation of the skull based on the belief that it is...

Bedtime Stories for Young Geologists

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CALGARY, Alberta - In these troubled times, many young geologists are experiencing restless nights, worrying about the world, their health and their jobs.  Here...

Docilite Can Be Replaced With Borite!

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CALGARY, Alberta – In a much-appreciated scientific breakthrough, scientists at the University of Calgary announced that they have discovered that the mineral borite is...

Porosity exchange theory gaining traction with geologists

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CALGARY, Alberta - A group of scientifical geologists with the Canadian Geofantasy Network are postulating a theory that is starting to gain traction within...

A geologist and his maps

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CALGARY, Alberta - In the fading light of what was an amazing final oil boom, geologists in Alberta, specifically Calgary, are suffering. Long gone...

Fairness and Equality at the forefront of new drilling program

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CALGARY, Alberta - Twenty Twenty One.  Fairness and equality are at the forefront of every media release and public engagement.  It has become so...

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2P News Staff

Andy Killinger
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Antoine McGuillicuddy
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Cynthia Redbush
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Dr. Darcy Flowman
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Gretel Foonberger
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Rodecker Smith
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Sir William Shortspeare
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Most Commented

Houston area man drills well in backyard, charges laid

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HOUSTON, Texas - A Sugar Land, TX man and his neighbour are in police custody after the duo drilled an unauthorized gas well in the backyard of one of the men in search of...

Geologist assaulted for teasing MWD staff

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CALGARY, Alberta - A senior wellsite geologist has been hospitalized after a violent incident on a drilling rig in northern Alberta last night. Ricky Rockerson was violently beaten to within an inch of his life...

Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons

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CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the patterns required in CandyCrush and Tetris to oil and gas plays, has designed a new set of specialty geology crayons...

Crustal drilling project results in Volcano near Didsbury

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RED DEER, Alberta - Central Alberta was thrust into chaos this morning when a deep test well may have instigated the first active volcano in Alberta's history.  Deep Thrust Energy, a conglomerate of consolidated...

Guest Opinion: Put your head down, do your work, and STFU.

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Mike Rotchburns, a former reservoir engineer, essayist, and cultural critic, is the author or the NW Calgary best-selling home-printed booklet "Please shut the fuck...

Premier Kenney strikes Climate Swap deal with State of California

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Novel AirSuck™  technology claims it will Make Alberta Tropical Again Southern California's annual average temp to drop by 13-15C Kenney claims construction will...

People's Choice Articles

Scientists invent a process to convert formation water into light oil

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CALGARY, Alberta - In a remarkable scientific breakthrough, 2 scientists from the research labs at...

GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making

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CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been...

Geologist finds a strong best fit through an amorphous cloud on poro-perm plot

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CALGARY, Alberta - There is no question that geology is a subjective science that is...

No pipelines, no trains, just Ass

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HARDISTY, Alberta - Pipelines leak.  Got it.  Trains derail.  Got it.  So what is the...

Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons

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CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the...

HR department develops online survey to assess effectiveness of online surveys

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CALGARY, Alberta - The Human Resources department of an intermediate oil and gas producer headquartered...

Former oil company executive relegated to greeter

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CALGARY, Alberta -The ever growing price differential for bitumen continues to squeeze the netbacks for...

Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map

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HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool...

Aliens vs. Geophysicists – Vibratory Revenge: Movie Review

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The Bottom Line This geophyical, sci-fi revenge fantasy thriller fails to deliver on all fronts. Director-Screenwriter Francis Birch Cast Brad...

Anne Hydrite and Ray Tracing – A love story

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Anne Hydrite first laid eyes on Ray Tracing at an oil and gas convention in...

Back in the Day

Engineers. Love ’em or hate ’em, you likely gotta deal with...

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Engineers. If you live in Calgary, there is a good chance you are an engineer, you are married to an engineer, you work with...

Engineer rearranges contents of dishwasher to optimize dirty dish density

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CALGARY, Alberta - After seeing his visiting mother-in-law load the dishwasher following a rather large Sunday afternoon family dinner, Anton McKnight, a Petrophysical Engineer...

Production tech goes for coffee on the way back from going...

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CALGARY, Alberta - On his way back from a 45 minute morning coffee run with 3 of his production engineering colleagues at Subterra Resources...

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