HARDISTY, Alberta – Pipelines leak. Got it. Trains derail. Got it. So what is the answer to the oil transportation woes of our continent? Ass. Pure, organic, natural Ass.
Alberta Rancher Hans Freekok says Ass is the safest, most economical, and most reliable way to ship oil anywhere in North America. And with the sheer amount of Ass in North America, there will be no problem making sure every operator gets their fair share of Ass. By Ass of course, Hans is referring to the common Donkey.
I’ve got so many donkeys, and breeders just stockpile and stockpile, no one knows what to do with this much Ass. It’s ridiculous!
Strapped with barrels, buckets, and milk jugs, an Ass can carry 12 times its weight, which is a lot. If you had a train of Donkeys moving oil around this the USA and Canada, we would have a access to every market available, and it benefits Mexico too, where Ass is just laying around waiting to be had. This idea benefits EVERYONE!
Of course there are skeptics that worry about all that Ass getting tired and lazy and slowing down shipments. Another problem might be that when you really needed it, you just can’t find any Ass. Even with high supply and low demand now, there can always be a surge in demand for quality Ass. Numerous Ass ranchers are forming a new Coalition In Support of Quality Ass to push the agenda. Lobbyists hope to persuade the government that not only is Ass the bst way to make all parties feel good, but that if you use enough Ass, the trickle down can touch everyone in North America.