Fertility specialist adapts oilfield frac technology to insemination techniques

2
1147

DENVER, Colorado – With Obamacare looming around the corner and a new market approaching for every Tom, Dick and Dr. Nick in the USA, it come as no surprise that an ex-production engineer turned gynecologist has developed a new insemination technique.

Dr. Yangor Bladismonl Grhynloi Tumok, aka “Rowdy” developed the procedure after working on developing frac patents for 12 years and wondering why high pressure has not been used in the medical industry for the same reasons.  Forced entry.  Using the concept behind fracking a gas well, he has developed the Fallopian Frac – a procedure that increases the chances of getting pregnant by 718% utilizing high pressure semen injection.

As much as it sounds like an uncomfortable idea, it may not be as bad as you think.  Dr. Rowdy has proposed 2 methods, an artificial laboratory style pump gun, and also a more natural, male-stimulation adapter that allows both partners to complete the procedure together.

One is more uncomfortable for the male in the duo, but Rowdy has assured the media that permanent damage would rarely occur.  The artificial version uses a pump and swedge system to inseminate the woman at high enough pressure to make sure the sperm pass through any barriers they need to and ensure conception.

lady
Third patient

I had the FF procedure done last year and then had 3 beautiful kids.  It wasn’t painful, just felt like I was being pumped full of jello really fast.  But I went home, stood on my head for an hour or so every day for a week as Dr. Rowdy instructed, and voila.  Preggers!

 

I had been trying for 25 years before seeing Dr. Rowdy – Rashal Twerkie, Rowdies 3rd insemination candidate.

The more natural, two-participant version of the procedure is slightly more invasive, but gets the job done as well.  A small saline pump is directed into the male, creating higher pressure within the existing reproductive parts, and at some point during copulation, when release is imminent, it simply increases the pressure and then performs much the same way as before.

This patented TurboRod(tm) technique (device shown below) has yet to be attempted, but Rowdy hopes to find a suitable candidate when traveling overseas this winter.

pump
TurboRod(tm) adapter (prototype model)

I hoping to get much more people to trying my ideas this winter.  I have friends in Russia and Republics of Garglestan who cans help me find good peoples to make pregnance. – Rowdy standing outside of a medical conference in Denver.

Jack Braitheet, the medical commissioner in Colorado is opposed to the idea, but says without any existing legislation against fertilization fracking, there isn’t much he can do.

A voluntary procedure to get pregnant is not much different than getting drunk in a bar, just a little more oomph to the juice so to speak.  If it works and it makes people happy, I say go for it! My one reservation, however, is related to over-pressurizing the frack, which could lead to a rather messy and embarrassing situation for the patient. To mitigate the impact of these events, I recommend a passive device that will plug the patient’s nose.

2 COMMENTS

  1. Mora estuvo acompaada, entre otros, por el arzobispo de San Jos, Hugo Barrantes, quien dijo que el milagro que la cur era “una mirada de misericordia a un pas chiquitito y una llamada a la familia”.

    Guilly – I have no idea what that says…….but thank you.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here