Robotic operators introduced at Japanese Oil Expo, not what you think

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TADOSANOKU, Japan -It is the year 2014.  Every year tradeshows and oil and gas conferences showcase the very latest and greatest of the safety world.  At this year’s Far East Oil and Gas Conference, Habitijaawa Engineering debuted its latest measure of drilling rig safety to date – a synthetic roughneck.

One version of the Robots
One of the first generation Op-Bots

Late in 2011, Habitijaawa Engineering (HE) was working on the TSR Project for Wonderous Five-O Amusements in Bangkok, Thailand. The TSR project, or Therapeutic Sexual Release Project, took the futuristic science of robotics to new heights.  Built on the research and development done by DARPA and Boston Dynamics, the goal was to create functional, realistic, and fully synthetic adult toys to make the pleasure industry in Thailand safer and more profitable.  The TSR Project was a huge success, and now HE has taken that same technology and applied it to oil and gas drilling.

The new Op-Bots, while not tasked with any type of artificial intelligence or decision making abilities, can do most of the simple tasks an every day roughneck can do.  Much like the way robots work assembly lines, routine and repetive tasks can be completed with ease by the Op-Bots.  While many fear the loss of jobs could crumble some small economies, proponents of the program are touting the value of synthetic labor to prevent injuries to employees.

japanese manager
Matsushita Riki

We have spokena to most of people here, Op-Bots very successful in American markets.  We see big sale to Cheaterson and Bendovus.  Much thanks for many buyers and likers of our systems. – Matsushita Riki, Senior VP Habitijaawa Engineering

Assembly line with 3rd generation Op_Bots in production
Assembly line with 3rd generation Op-Bots in production

While the Op-Bots are poised to be a huge success in theory, there are still some kinks in the system.  The Op-Bots did not take any new forms for the drilling application, and as such are still externally molded like Hollywood adult movie stars.  If this alone would not be a distraction to the real live staff on location, the fact they still emit moans of pleasure while completing tasks will.

We didn’t expect them to make the same sounds and look the same as the damn sex bots.  It’s weird seeing a robot make a connection and have an orgasm at the same time. – Greg Junipet, Senior Driller with Cheatersons pilot program

With Cheaterson and Bendovus placing 20 Op-Bots on various drilling programs around the continental Americas, results should be available for the quality and usefulness of these Op-Bots by the end of the winter drilling season 2014.

 

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