WASHINGTON DC – In a landmark and extremely controversial policy move, President Obama has declared hydrogen fuel cells as a Class 6b.21 Weapon of Mass Destruction.
Using official NATO standards, the classification covers all existing variations of hydrogen fuel research and technology. While many do not understand the policy change, it has been explained in detail in a report by the Dangerous Things Oversight Committee. The report outlines the dangers that hydrogen fuel cells pose to the general public, and people will be very surprised by what they read.
Vehicles utilizing hydrogen fuel cells produce an exhaust water vapour out the rear of the vehicle which in turn can cause slippery road conditions, especially when the ambient temperature is less than 0 ℃. For this reason, hydrogen cell-powered vehicles have been added to the WMD list to prevent large-scale vehicular pile-ups and multi-car accidents resulting in bodily harm or death to millions of susceptible Americans.
We are… we are in every way… concerned about the danger… to human Americans, and to other Americans, and to other non-humans. We will see this policy through to the end… and non-compliance will be dealt with as an act of terror and aggression upon our fair country, the United States of America. We will enact enforcement swiftly… and somewhat efficiently. – President Obama
Proponents of hydrogen power were quick to step in front of the Obama Railway and denounce the policy, claiming it sets greener energy technologies back by tens of years. Companies building prototypes of the technology also released preliminary legal documents to start the expected court room battles over the policy.
We are so sick of the absurdity of this government. We cannot simply stand by and let the Obama Railway steamroll everything we are trying to do here.
If General Motors is going to become a terror organization for trying to make a better world, then he has a fight on his hands. We’ll even arm the Unions if we need to. – Jeremy Grik, Public Relations Manager with GM
Although the ramifications and implementation of the policy have yet to be realized by military forces, enforcement plans have begun and apparently special teams of WMD investigators have been assembled to begin searching for and seizing the fuel cells as early as June 1.
Resistance is expected but the teams will be heavily armed in the event Green Leaf or Fans of Earth try to upset an effective take down.