Google makes bid to acquire every Oil and Gas operator in Canada

2
1033

CALGARY, Alberta – A massive merger announcement yesterday rocked the financial world.  Internet search giant Google Inc. has made a $247 billion dollar bid to acquire every Oil and Gas operator in Canada.  The deal follows a recent trend of internet based corporations making headway into energy industries.

The Mountain View, California-based company’s offer was made en masse at an industry conference, and while it has taken many by surprise, energy analysts believe that it might just work out well for Canada.

Timothy Sharkfuq, Google PNG Division
Timothy Sharkfuq, Google PNG Division

We want to buy everything in an effort to streamline the industry.  No more land or mineral fights or legal problems.  Google will offer the industry technical information sharing, leadership programs based on regional diversification, and a finance department that can actually get things done.

We may have to layoff several hundred thousands staff throughout Western Canada, but it will be worth it in the end. – Timothy Sharkfuq, Google PNG Division

Although none of the PNG operators 2P News contacted have replied to comment, it is assumed they are mulling it over.  The offer from Google places a nearly 20% premium on most operator’s prevailing share price on both the TSE and NYSE, making the offer very attractive to “drill & sell” juniors, as well as behemoths the likes of Calgary-based Bendovus Energy.

With the majority of the fields and plays in Canada being drilled and produced by hundred of operators, Google may have an effective go forward plan to keep petroleum flowing long into Canada’s future.

The idea is not bad, but implementation would be a bitch. One massive office running all of the fields in Canada, with a monopoly on all zones and plays?  There would never be another start-up junior again, ever – they couldn’t afford to acquire land, let alone drill.  And the service industry would be crushed by Google if they were the only operator out there.  They could dictate all rates, salaries, etc.  It could be pretty damn scary. – Geoff Drines, Analyst with Rigby & Statch LLC

Executives with some of Calgary’s largest mid-sized operators have already released statements regarding their positions on the offer.  While it may look good on paper, they are not quite ready to give up the fight and bend over for a company like Google to step in and take over the game.

Freddy Givens, leaving the press conference yesterday afternoon
Freddy Givens, leaving the press conference yesterday afternoon

I see what they want to do, and sure, looks nice.  But you know what?  We are very good at what we do and we want to continue doing it.  I like the fight, and I like the drama, and I occasionally like to punch a landman.  Feels good.  And what would I do if I wasn’t the CEO of an oil company anymore?  Costco?  WalMart?  F%@# you Google.  Go buy car washes or something. – Freddy Givens, CEO Krascent Pointe Energy

An energy analyst with Second Energy Financial, speaking to 2P News under a condition of anonymity, believes that if Google should consider increasing the offer to include all of the midstream and service companies, such that it could fully integrate into the industry. Under this structure, consumers would expect to see fully Googlelized gas stations with convenience stores replace every single station across Canada.

2 COMMENTS

    • When you say Barney Google, do you mean Barney Rubble? Because I don’t know who Barney Google is, but Rubble is one cool cat.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here