Commuters angry with proposed Crowchild closure

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CALGARY, Alberta – In the latest of a series of controversial city planning decisions, Mayor Nenshi has scheduled a council meeting to discuss the closure of Crowchild Trail in its entirety.

The plan was developed over the August long weekend while Nenshi had relatives staying over.  After a couple bottles of Perrier, the discussion turned to ways Nenshi might leave his mark on the City of Calgary, and a cousin suggested he could save some power by elimating traffic lights.

As the story goes, the conversation then turned to the use of Stoney as a primary route around the city, rendering Crowchild Trail almost useless.  And thats where the trouble began.

Hadrian Cypotectimy, Junior Leadership Candidate, Silver Springs Community Association
Hadrian Cypotectimy, Junior Leadership Candidate, Silver Springs Community Association

He tells the story like he is a martyr, but he’s a legend in his own mind.  That route gets more traffic than half the city, and he’s gonna close it to eliminate traffic lights to save power?  This is right up there with extending the Plus 15, or his downtown dress code plans.  I like the guy, he’s nice, and smiley, and well dressed.  But sometimes I wonder what’s in his sparkling water. – Hadrian Cypotectimy, Silver Springs Community Association.

The meeting Nenshers called will have several facets.  First, he’ll need to get a few more councillors on board.  After that, they’ll need to decide if any compensation will be given to the businesses that line the route and depend on it for traffic access to their establishments.  Other intricacies will be the demolition of on ramps and exits, installation of sidewalks and bike paths, or even a few football fields lined up end to end in the wider sections of the roadway.

While most of the feedback is positive from the inner city goons that don’t care about suburban access, several community associations from the north west corner of the city have been raising online petitions and protests since the news went public.

Carmamena Sachozenai, Tuscany Residents Association
Carmamena Sachozenai, Tuscany Residents Association

We’ll just buy bigger trucks and park them on their inner city lawns.  Oh wait, they don’t have lawns in the cool part of Calgary.  If they shut this road down, maybe we’ll stop going to work.  Let the employers beat it out of him.  I drove it the other day, it takes me an hour and thirty two minutes to get to my office using Stoney Trail.  It takes me twenty five minutes on Crowchild.  This is the dumbest idea yet. – Carmamena Sachozenai, P. Eng.

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