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- Justin Trudeau jacked up the electoral reform document, leaving a loophole such that a prime minister can be elected by reality TV voting processes
- May, Trudeau, Scheer, Singh, and possibly more will join the cast
- In light of a recent ethics commission ruling against the current PM, each contestant will have to pass a grade 8 ethics exam to be eligible to play
- Producer hints of cameo appearances from Trump, Duterte, and Jinping
TORONTO, Ontario – From the government-owned network that brought you Geology Prof or Homeless Man, The Really Desperate Politicians of the Ottawa Region, Who Wants to Beat-Up an Engineer, and Ethics Swap, comes this fall a brand new reality TV-show called Canada’s Next Top Prime Minister. Stemming from a botched 2015 electoral reform promise by Justin Trudeau that makes provisions for a Prime Minister to be elected by voting of any sort (including by reality TV call- and text-ins), this new hit series is sure to keep viewers on the edge of their chesterfields and amp up voter turnout across the nation.
Canada’s Next Top Prime Minister (CNTPM or Top Minister) follows a diverse group of contestants, known as House of Commons guests, who are living together in a custom-built home that is under constant surveillance. The guests are completely isolated from the outside world and can have zero communication with those not in the house.
(Editor’s note: Mr. Trudeau will have no problem being isolated from the outside world seeing as that’s how he is and currently runs the PMO.)
Yes, this means that Justin “Pretty Pony” Trudeau will have to forgo his hourly guidance meetings with hair and sock stylists, which he currently does on taxpayer dime. The contestants are competing for the prize of becoming officially elected as Canada’s 27th Prime Minister in this fall’s 2019 federal election.
“We are looking to create a more innovative way to figure out who’s going to be the next Prime Minister, and when we learned of the newly created loophole in the Trudeau-HAcked eleCtoral policy, we natually jumped at the opportunity to devise a platform that more effectively reaches out to millennials and generation Z, who together comprise 70 per cent of the voting population in Canada.” – the program’s creative director and executive producer, JR Diefenbaker.
This new 16-episode series will have a starting cast comprising May, Trudeau, Scheer, and Singh as House of Common Guests. But here’s the kicker! According to reports leaked to 2P News by a source close to the new show, there will be 2 wildcard contestants who are not politicians, but regular Joes and Janes, who will surely up the ante for the incumbent cast. They will be dropped-in on the original four cast members throughout the first episode as a door-to-door alarm salesperson and Skip the Dishes culinary delivery engineer, who just don’t go away.
Contestants will be judged weekly on their overall political prowess, participation in impromptu debate challenges over who gets to use the master bathroom, the biggest prankster, and how they conduct themselves “when nobody is watching.” Every 2 episodes, one contestant is eliminated through a voting process in a mock House of Commons Proceedings in a 1/100th scale Lower Chamber setup, complete with a Speaker of the House played by actor Samuel L. Jackson. When there are only 2 contestants remaining, the voting is opened to the Canadian public who can submit votes via SMS, Instagram posts, or SnapChat, from anywhere in the world provided they promise that they are Canadian and at or over the age of majority.
Rumour has it there will also be cameo appearances from prominent world leaders including Presidents Trump, Duterte, and Jinping whose sole job is to be a thorn in the side of the contestants, or perhaps help them strategize and win – only time will tell.
So who will be Canada’s Next Top Prime Minister? Is it you?! The new show airs on SeeTV starting Friday, September 6th. You don’t want to miss this.