CALGARY, AB — Proving once again that the oilpatch remains the beating heart of questionable innovation, two Calgary engineers have quit their corporate jobs to launch Frack n’ Snack Engineering Solutions™, the city’s first mobile oil & gas consulting company operated entirely out of a repurposed 1998 GMC food truck that promises “fast, fresh, on-the-go technical expertise, while you wait.”
The founders, Cindy “Sidetrack” McKinnon, a drilling & completions engineer, and Felipe “P10” Morales, a reservoir engineer, say they’re “disrupting the traditional client-consultant relationship” by parking the truck directly in front of clients’ buildings, blocking doors, fire exits, bike racks, and at least one revolving door. If not seen around downtown Calgary, the truck is bound to be found in the middle of a muddy lease road somewhere north of Swan Hills.
Their slogan:
“We bring the engineering to YOU… whether you booked us or not.”
A Repurposed Food Truck Becomes a Mobile Technical Powerhouse
The truck, previously known as El Churro Bandito, has been retrofitted with the following features:
- A printer zip-tied to an old deep fryer
- A “data room” (the glove box)
- A “meeting space” (two milk crates behind a duo of 50 lb propane tanks)
- A whiteboard made from the back of a pizza box
Client deliverables are printed and wrapped like burritos, then handed through the sliding take-out window with the customer’s name spelled wrong on the foil.
Reports come with a complimentary napkin “for wiping away tears caused by budget overruns.”
A New Way to Work With Engineers: Drive-Thru Style
Corporate clients are already confused and irritated by the operation. When a geoscience manager from Bendovus attempted to book a meeting, the duo replied:
“Meetings are for cowards. Please approach the truck window and yell your API number.”
Reports are passed through the sliding take-out window wrapped in wax paper. All invoices are printed on the back of old tortilla slips.
Ordering typically sounds like this:
- Client: “I need a Type Curve.”
- Felipe: “Do you want that optimistic, highly optimistic, or illegal?”
- Client: “Illegal.
- Felipe: “Good choice.”
Payment is accepted exclusively through the truck’s tap machine, which has a non-removable 30% tip built in.
Cindy explains: “Look, the oil patch already throws 30% ‘play’ into every AFE anyway. We’re just normalizing the experience.”
Downtown Executives Are Already Furious
One VP of Engineering at Crashent Point claimed he was “ambushed”:
“I stepped outside for fresh air, and suddenly a drilling engineer in an apron shoved a $9,000 invoice into my hands and asked if I wanted to upgrade to the ‘sour service’ package.”
A manager from ARC Resources reported that the truck parked so close to the entrance that employees needed to crawl under the bumper to get inside.
Bylaw Services has ticketed the truck nine times. Each ticket was immediately returned through the bylaw officer’s open window along with a $1,200 “Regulatory Interface Fee.”
OFFICIAL Frack n’ Snack™ MENU & PRICE LIST
Corporate Services (Downtown Pricing)
| Item | Description | Price |
|---|---|---|
| URTeC Paper Combo | Includes jargon, 14 graphs, and a title no one understands | $50,000 |
| GeoConvention Slide Deck | 32–68 slides of bullet points, stock images, and lies | $15,000 |
| Type Curve Wrap | Comes in a styrofoam container with 3 EUR options | $4,500 |
| Reserves Audit Burrito Box | P50 only; P10 comes at a premium. | $10,000 |
| Material Balance Quesadilla | Model won’t converge. Cheese won’t melt. | $6,250 |
| Board Package Platter | Pretty charts, no truth. | $21,000 |
| Economic Run (Mild/Medium/Hot) | Hot includes inflation assumptions that ruin morale. | $3,800 |
| Integrated Subsurface Bowl | Zero integration. 100% bowl. | $7,900 |
| 30-Minute AFE Justification | Perfect for Friday afternoon approvals. | $2,600 |
| Confidential “Parking in Front of Competitor’s Office” Fee | We block their door for you. | $3,200/hr |
Field Services (Lease-Side Pricing)
| Item | Description | Price |
|---|---|---|
| Mobile D&C Troubleshooting | Cindy stares at the BOP and mutters. | $4,900/hr |
| Reservoir Surveillance Drive-By | Felipe looks at the wellhead and says “Yep.” | $2,750 |
| Frac Optimization | Includes yelling, gesturing, and a laminated buzzword sheet. | $9,750 |
| Lost Circulation Diagnosis | They shake the truck to simulate formation behaviour. | $1,950 |
| Geosteering Drive-Thru | Bring your gamma logs to the window. God help you. | $5,800/hr |
| Field Ticket Preparation | Printed on napkins from 7-Eleven. | $450 each |
| NPT Root Cause Analysis | Always blames the rig crew. Without exception. | $9,000 |
| H2S Safety Talk | Delivered through a megaphone. | $1,100 |
| Field Barista Upgrade | Coffee brewed with rig water. | $7.50 |
Premium Extras
-
Annoy Your Competitors Parking Package (park directly in front of rival offices): $2,999/hr
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Confidential Meeting in the Truck’s Walk-In Cooler: $1,400
-
Field Barista Upgrade – cappuccinos steamed using rig exhaust: $9.00 each
-
Branded Hardhat Stickers (“Certified by The Consulting Cart™”): $18 per sticker
Public Response
Some Calgarians say the moving engineering truck is “innovative.” Others say it’s “proof society is collapsing.”
An Encana retiree described seeing the truck parked across the sidewalk as “the closest thing Calgary has had to a street riot in years.”
One City official admitted:
“We don’t know whether it’s a restaurant, an engineering firm, or a mobile safety violation.
What’s Next?
The founders plan to expand their mobile consulting empire with:
-
A Well Test Interpretation Hot Dog Cart
-
A Petrophysics Snow Cone Trailer
-
A Multi-Stage Frac Design Ice Cream Van
And for premium clients:
A reservoir simulation tent pitched directly on their front lawn.
The founders say their ultimate goal is to take the model global:
“Anywhere there’s oil, roads, and poor decision-making — we’ll be there.”
