Breaking News
- Baker Hughes to Release Bi-Directional Drill Bits in Fall 2026
- California Startup Wants Alberta Drivers to Pay by the Pound at the Pump
- Canada Sees Explosion in “Emotional Support Engineers” Following Mass Layoffs
- Calgary-based NextMA Energy Begins Preparing Wells for Production in 75 Million Years
- Sorry in Advance: Alberta Oil Crew Politely Invades Kharg Island
- 2026 Darcy Awards Ceremony to Celebrate an Overwhelming Surplus of Oil and Gas Industry Incompetence
- Province Says Emotional Connection to Oil Expected to Close Deficit by ‘Feeling Q4 Differently’
- Alberta program promises to deliver emissions reduction pathway for committed environmentalists after they die
- Calgary City Council Announces New Public Transit Programs for Q1 2026
- Engineers Ditch Corporate Life, Launch Calgary’s First Mobile Oil & Gas Consulting Food Truck
- EXCLUSIVE: ATA President Announces Plan to Hire Unemployed Oilfield Workers to Help Teachers Navigate Back-to-Work Chaos
- Top Ten Things Alberta Teachers Plan to Do If They’re Legislated Back to Work
- The Quantum Mechanics of Excel Clipboard’s 4.20 Picosecond Lifespan
- Calgary-Area Geologists Launch Class-Action Lawsuit over Bryan Adam’s “Rock Show”
- Dear Andy: I’m a 27 year old petroleum geologist looking to switch careers. What should I do?
- Online Retail Giant Expands Into Canadian Oil & Gas, Offers Free Drilling With $29 Purchase
- PoleStar Training Ltd. Launches Oilfield Safety Ticket Training School, Industry Enrollments Explode
- Groundbreaking Study Reveals why 97.3% of Conversations with Engineers Result in this Outcome
- Former Oil & Gas Engineers Launch Brutally Honest “RatePENGs.com” Website
- City of Calgary’s Firefighter Body Cam Pilot Reveals Shocking Mismanagement of Public Funds
- Oil and Gas Industry on Edge as AER Approves Plans to Introduce AI to Field Operations in Q1 2026
- Proposed Federal Election Reform Bound to Change the Landscape of Canadian Politics
- Suck Off Oilfield Services Revolutionizes Industry with New ‘Ball Sucker 2000™’ Technology
- Canadian Oil Giants Plan Record-Breaking Retaliatory Well in Response to Trump’s Tariffs
- A New Detail on Federal Environment Minister’s Green Energy Corridor Plan Revealed
- Calgary-area Landman Accidentally Solves Quantum Gravity Over Ribeye and Red Wine
- Canadian Hutterites Pledge to Save Canada’s Food Supply from Trump’s Tariffs
- Ottawa leans on Alberta to bolster southern border in case of military invasion from the U.S.
- Dragline Logistics Announces Nationwide 100% Electric Freight System
- Canada Post to team up with oil and gas industry to get back into the black
- Justin Trudeau Threatens 75% Tariff on U.S. Imports Unless Americans Stop Exporting “Cultural Trash” to Canada
- 5 things everybody should know about engineers, Part II
- Alberta Premier Smith finds loophole in pending U.S. tariffs on oil exports
- 2P News Stock Surges on Laugh Production Boom, Hiring Frenzy Expected
- OmniCore Energy’s BeamStream™ technology to revolutionize oil and gas upstream, midstream, retail, and emissions sectors
- Geologist Stirs Controversy with Revolutionary “Under-Superposition” Stratigraphy Theory
- Top 12 Oil and Gas Rumours Abound for 2025
- Next Millenia Energy looking to wow investors with long-range development plans
- Alberta’s Project Dawn Discovery aims to help identify and reduce methane leaks
- Zombie Wells: The Partisan Plague of Trinity Bay – Movie Review
- Engineer comes “out of the cooler,” shocks friends and wider oil and gas community
- Saskatoon-based FizzBang H20 shakes up the energy industry
- Open-pit oil and gas mining coming to Alberta by 2025 Q1
- Engineers outraged as Federal Government passes Bill C-420
- City of Calgary Implements Stringent Water Restrictions as Feeder Water Main Continues to Surprise Engineers
- Rumours of Vice President Harris to be courting the most unexpected running mate materialize
- Top Ten Must Try Foods and Drinks at the 2024 Stampede of Calgary
- Calgary-startup has solution to the abandoned wells problem; Alberta’s oil and gas regulator is all ears
- Alberta-developed CCR technology to avert planet earth’s next glaciation event
- City of Calgary to implement insane economic recovery plan initiatives, says leaked memo
- Secret oil and gas well causes disaster
- NHL inks puck deal with oil and gas service company for 2025/2026 season
- MILF Capital to acquire cash-strapped Cougar Valley Resources in all cash deal
- How a public car insurance lawsuit by a Regina geologist is hitting home in Saskatchewan
- peopleMINUS minusing people strikes a Chord with Calgary staff
- Top Ten changes Naheed Nenshi promises to make if elected leader of the Alberta NDP
- Montreal eco-startup to build first-of-its-kind 175MW wind farm just outside of Sylvan Lake, Alberta
- Movie Review: Totally Recalled: Failure to Lead
- The City of Calgary announces ‘Ride or Die’ housing plan
- The Normals vs The World – Movie Review
- Calgary city council to introduce DryWash 2000™
- Alberta University to Offer Social Engineering Program Starting Fall 2024
- The Night Before Christmas – 2024 Edition
- Killer Asteroid from Uranus!
- Dear Andy: I’m forced to go to my staff Holiday party but I can’t stand my coworkers, please help!
- Calgary-based E&P Start-Up to Explore in the Rockies
- AI decodes what oil and gas professionals really mean when they talk: Part 1
- Calgary-based geologist patents GeoThermals™
- Dear Andy: My love life is hurting and I don’t know what to do, please help!
- GroundLift Lifts Ground
- EndGame Energy eyes a magmatic geothermal play
- Conspiracy Theory Editorial: How does a Prime Minister solve a domestic housing crisis and immigration woes in one fell swoop?
- Federal Government to launch National PNG Company
- A geologist and his maps
- Archeologists unearth the world’s oldest drilling rig to date in southern Turkey
- Single use plastic disposal can stop tectonic shift: Red Deer Start-Up Company
- 2P News to launch Climate Solutions division fall 2023
- Justin Trudeau’s Bitter Ex Tells All – Sock Fetish, Lisp, Mirrors, and How His Coif Always Had to be Perfect
- Calgary Zoo to geologize all animal exhibits for spring 2024
- Top Ten Names for TC Energy’s spinoff oil and liquids pipeline division
- Coming to SeeTV this fall: “Name that Depositional Environment”
- ‘Give them up’: APEGSA’s 5 most wanted members released, over $950,000 in rewards offered
- Alberta Energy Regulator shuts down operations of company that drilled 1,342,849 metre long wildcat well
- Calgary Police Force prepared to enforce new laws for the 2023 Calgary Stampede Show
- Canada continues to fart on the USA
- 2P Careers: Alberta Government looking for Avalanche and Forest Fire Field Data Collection Engineers
- 2P News to Offer Weight Loss Programs
- After tough loss NDP to recycle abandoned campaign signage into COVID masks, amongst other things
- Marijuana Party enters Alberta election race late but is poised to win
- Dear Andy: I’m a geologist and I’m worried that Artificial Intelligence will take my job. HELP!!
- “Just Transition” Reaches #72 on the ICGF Hot 100 Charts
- Sir William’s Compendium of Dubious Data and Faulty Facts
- New-age energy startup struggles with well identity
- 2P News’ Predictions for 2023
- 2P News has a Sacred Duty
- 2P News turns 10 years old this month as we post our 984th article!
- Ground-breaking Androphilia drug approved for trial use in Canada
- 2P Poetry: Eating Frac Sand
- Jacob, his HP 48GX, and a girl – A Technical Love Story
- Throwback Exploration introduces complacency reduction program
- Top 10 PC-friendly terms coming to the oil and gas industry
- Guest Opinion: Put your head down, do your work, and STFU.
- NDP: All pipelines in Alberta to be removed and recycled if we are re-elected
- Glacier Oil Co. Moving Forward with its Cold Earth Operations plan for 2023 Q2
- 2P Relationship Tips: How to Date an Engineer
- Calgary-based oil and gas major has staff cafés shut down by provincial health inspectors
- Oil Patch Hookup Hotshot Auction #1 – Meet those going up for bid
- Single oil patch workers rejoice over new concept that will see them dating in no time
- Canadian Health Agency Declares Poutine Dangerous
- Just Trip the Fucking Bit – a Parody by A. McGuillicuddy
- Bendovus Discovers Massive Deposit of Silicon Dioxide
- What Your Wife/Girlfriend is Really Saying
- Liberal Government Funds Novel GFY Technology to Deal with Forest Fires
- Brotherhood of Locomotive Engineers Sues for Exclusive Use of the Word “Engineer”
- Whitecrap Resources Says it Will Compensate Field Staff with Bulk Hydrocarbons
- 14 People Charged with Conspiracy to Kidnap in Central Alberta
- Sir William on Living in California
- 2P News to Sponsor Calgary Pinball Tournament
- Canadian Armed Forces Seek to Weaponize Jinxing
- Alberta human rights commission investigates the use of ‘Engineer Storage’ rooms
- RCMP Raids Alleged Calgary Diploma Mill
- Alberta Gas Producers announce proposal to move LNG to the EU
- Things You Will Never Hear Said Out Loud
- Calgary-based Morning Wood Resources stock price is up amid stiff competition
- Dear Annie, the office coffee where I work is terrible on so many levels but I don’t want to spend money buying coffee every day, what can I do?
- Remote oil and gas workers demand emotional support animals
- New support group for oil and gas professionals seeing widespread success
- 2P News to join ISS as Russia plans to pull out
- 2P News is Closed for Summer
- ‘I was really scared’: Questions remain after 7 people injured at Stampede’s “Kiss an Engineer” booth
- Secrets of Sabotage by Middle Management Revealed!
- Calgary Mayor Gonyet attempts to cancel Stampede just before parade
- Federal government creates new registry and app to track engineers who offend
- Docilite Can Be Replaced With Borite!
- TexxonMogul CEO Max Avarice to Retire at End of Year
- Sir William’s History Corner: Hood Ornaments
- Optical Delusions
- Canada Strives for Pure Crap
- You Might Be A Geophysicist If …
- New Toilet Design for Canadian Winters
- Canadian government’s new crown corp to enforce environmental compliance has oil and gas industry on edge
- Sir William’s History Corner: The Stoned 1960’s
- Coach Sutter to send players to Engineering Summer Camp to improve skills after Round 2 playoff exit
- The Correlation Between Intelligence and the Success of Canadian Petroleum Geologists
- The Top 12 Things Jason Kenney Can Do In His New Spare Time
- Sir William’s Grab Bag of Randomness and Miscellany
- Engineer’s Junk Drawer Archaeology
- The Theoretical Basis for Fudging, Finagling, Diddling and Bamboozling
- New Method for Crossplotting Electric Log Data
- Three Safety Incidents You Should Look Out for in the Oil & Gas Industry
- Riotous Behavior at the Canadian Mathematical Society’s Convention
- Unnatural Gas Formula Promises to Reverse Climate Change
- Sir William’s Oil & Gas Buzz Phrase Generator
- Andy’s Mail Bag: Part 4
- Cyclotrode Attack Disables Calgary Government
- BREAKING NEWS! APEGSA Says It Was Breached and User Account Accessed
- Beaver Expeditionary Force Headed for War Zone
- Sir William’s History Corner: Dirty Dog Poker
- Ore Bodies Located with Bovinity Rays
- “Field of Pipe Dreams” stand-up comedy tour coming to western Canada this spring
- Breaking News! Batplane Crash Site in Alaska Located
- Fantastic Beasts and Where to Shoot Them
- Russia’s Vladimir Putin Loves Dick’s
- You Might Be A Landman If…
- Looking to stretch your fuel dollars amid sky high gas prices? Try these nifty tricks
- Inuit Words for “Snow” Revealed!
- You Might Be An Engineer If…
- Sir William’s History Corner: The Balloon War
- Ебать Путіна
- Getting Stoned
- Pharmaceutical Giant to Open Calgary Test Facility
- 2P Careers: Calgary company looking for a Door-to-Door Freehold Land Negotiator
- You Might Be a Geologist If…
- Superman vs Captain Marvel
- Bendovus to Sponsor Calgary Entry in Zamboni Racing League
- Trudeau Vows to Toughen Up Canada
- Sir William’s “Observations of a Grumpy Old Man”
- Sir William’s History Corner: Funny Food
- Looniecoin Cash Stolen in Daring Robbery
- New analog geological computer created specifically for mapping
- Flying Saucer Lands in Ottawa, Retrieves Trudeau
- Top ten Geological and Engineering names for 2022
- Ontario-based PetroChema develops DrinkOdorant©
- We love you Dr. Deenah Heehaw, but you need a new hairdo: 2P News’ web poll is here to help!
- Gila Monster Trained to Guard Bendovus Pipe Yard
- Bendovus Energy ordered to pay 2P News’ co-founders US$4.3 billion after losing lawsuit
- Magnetic Monopoles Uncover Hidden Geologic Structures
- 2P News Adopts New Genderless Style Guidelines
- Key 2P News staff off to North Pole to help prevent spread of new Santa variant
- Andy’s Mail Bag: Part 3
- Heisenberg vs Pauli
- Tim Hortons to Open Locations in Houston
- Hydraulic fracking is actually good for the environment: Pembina Cardium Institute
- Andy Killinger Kidnapped! Police Clueless!
- Calgary-area engineer’s invention will help reduce your carbon footprint by up to 70%
- Mars Needs Women!
- New Canadian designed smartphone, the ehPhone, coming to market early 2022
- Godzilla vs Gamera
- Andy’s Mail Bag: Part 2
- Romania Threatens to Invade Chad, Oil Assets on the Line
- Aurora Borealis Refuses to Appear until Canada Apologizes
- Fairness and Equality at the forefront of new drilling program
- Oil prices forecasted to top $300 per barrel on plummeting inventory
- Calgary Entrepreneur Opens Moose Racing Track
- Panriver Petroleum to Employ up to 1200 Geologists
- Petroleum Engineer Invents Inverse Polish Notation
- Ghoulies and Ghosties
- A 2P News Halloween Story: The Haunted Pumpjack
- 2P News Explains Critical Race Theory
- Exploratory Well in British Columbia Strikes Oobleck
- 2P News celebrates publishing its 869th article!
- 2P News to Sponsor Music Festival
- Breaking News! Carnivorous Elephant on Rampage in Calgary area!
- Canadian Hostages Freed by China
- Alberta team launches BeerCoin currency
- Geological Clothing Brand Sees Massive Success
- Gateway to Hell Discovered in Ft. McMurray
- Geologist who tested positive for COVID tries to fight fire with fire
- Dear Andy: How About Some Advice for ######?
- Loophole sees Musk enter his own $100M XPRIZE carbon removal challenge
- Trudeau Selects Pee Wee Herman to be the New Face of Canada
- Duck-billed Platypus Trained to Locate Pipeline Leaks
- POLL: Should unvaccinated Alberta residents who are very ill with COVID-19 have access to hospitals and government-funded healthcare?
- Geologist Discovers What “The Gostak Distims the Doshes” Means
- Canadian Election to be Held on September 20, 2021 for House of Commons
- Alberta to Seek Major League Baseball Team
- New Archeological Find Proves Humpty Dumpty was not a Giant Egg
- Researchers predict large fourth wave in Alberta as hyper-contagious Brovid variant surges
- 2P News to Attempt Takeover of Oil & Gas Journal
- Ghost Detector Reduces Dry Hole Risk
- AFL (AAPEG Football League) coming to Alberta this September
- Major Oil Company Found Guilty!
- Overcoming Vaccination Reluctance in Canada
- Chinese Hackers Target 2P News!
- Bitumen Approved for Human Consumption in Quèbec
- Climate Change Shocker! Canada Shrinking!
- Dear Andy: What do I say to my smartass children?
- Calgary Entrepreneur Selling Canned Gas to China
- Finite Resources plans 32 urban horizontal wells in Calgary
- 2P News Accused of Making 3 Trillion Robocalls
- Productivity of Geologists Directly Proportional to Cup Size
- Enkarma cuts costs, technical staff caught drinking from toilets
- Wile E. Coyote Meets an Untimely End
- Geologic Time Scale Revised
- 2P News to Sponsor Distilled Spirits Competition
- Mammoth Flatulence Ended Last Ice Age
- 2P News Introduces New Cryptocurrency
- MOVIE REVIEW: The Glorious Adventures of Max Crude, Dolphin Hunter
- Bendovus Hires Matchmaker and Wedding Planner for Mergers
- Gorilla Taxi Service to Enter Calgary Market
- New Oil and Gas Channel to Debut on Streaming Service
- Alberta heat wave: top things to do to keep cool in record temps
- Dear Andy: I don’t know how to talk to girls
- Fandango Declared New National Dance of Canada
- Top Ten things you can expect to see at Stampede 2021
- Sir William’s History Corner: Hollywood!
- University of Calgary Seeks Grants to Develop AS (Artificial Stupidity) Software
- Bazooka Rockets Dig Quick, Cheap Oil Wells
- Dear Andy: I’m being called back to the office, but I want to keep working from home. HELP!!!
- New Rules for Portable Electric Generators
- Mona Lisa Defaced! Art World Atwitter!
- Elephant Hired as Exploration Geologist
- Trudeau Government Plans to Water Trees
- New mini-rail system in the works to transport crude oil across western Canada
- Sir William’s History Corner: Canadian Automobile Manufacturers
- ‘I think we’re in the engineer section:’ Couple says Calgary restaurant segregated diners
- Mass displacement project to alleviate climate change
- Batbear Fights Crime in the Far North
- Nenshi solves skyrocketing lumber prices in Calgary, approves mitigation project
- Idiot Puts Hellcat Engine in Snowmobile
- Canadian oil and gas industry to adopt IKEA’s flatpack system
- Fun Ways to Get Around Calgary
- North Korea Attacks Neighboring Countries; Reason Revealed
- Andy’s Horoscope for the Oil and Gas Industry
- University of Calgary Bows to Political Correctness, Changes Mascot
- Researchers find strong correlation between the engineering profession and involuntary celibacy
- Sir William’s History Corner: The Oil Embargo of 1973
- Kenney finds loophole, Alberta joins OPEC
- Animal Planet Program “River Monsters” to Feature Bow River Kraken
- Top 10 2021 APEGSA approved continuing education courses
- Wastewater testing for COVID inadvertently proves voting liberal is bacterial affliction
- Geologist Confuses Border Officers
- 2P News Counselor Andy Killinger Arrested by RCMP
- MOVIE REVIEW: Drilled and Confused
- Alberta Goes Oil Free
- Sir William’s History Corner: Obsolete People
- Health Canada didn’t approve Alberta-made COVID-19 vaccine. Here’s why
- Quebec approves pipeline reversal
- Sir William’s History Corner: Obsolete Equipment
- Gold Rush franchise to spin off Oil Rush program on Discovery Channel
- Docilite Supply Nearly Gone – Canada in Peril!
- Kenney: “The UCP will get you between Calgary and Edmonton in under 2 minutes by land. Just watch us!”
- Calgary-based Deep Earth Disposal solves Tesla’s battery disposal woes
- GameStomp Stock on a Wild Ride!
- TexxonMogul to Force Office-Sharing Among Professional Staff
- Calculators & More outlet store explodes in SE Calgary, 25 engineers missing
- Logging Engineers Offer Significant Cost Saving
- Sir William’s History Corner: Obsolete Oil Patch Phrases
- Pharma Announces New Anti-Depressant for Oil Patch Workers
- Exactly 1,210 miles of quality pipeline and related equipment just listed for sale on Kijiji
- The Ecomonist Predicts 2021 Will Suck for the Oil Industry
- UN Bans Geoscientists from All Social Media Platforms Internationally
- Rare Weather Phenomenon Observed in Calgary: Frozen Fog
- Geophrenologist Claims Ability to Locate Oil and Gas
- Trump Repents, Will Take Extraordinary Measures to Make Amends with Democrats for Being an Asshat
- TexxonMogul Acquires Atomic Cannon
- Movie Review: The CERBY Clause – Watch Yo Pockets (in 4D)
- Andy’s Mail Bag
- Engineers Develop New Prime Mover for Pump Jacks
- Werewolf-Moose Hybrid Monster Terrorizing Alberta!
- Calgary announces city-wide sterilization program
- Trump Reprogrammed in Last Ditch Effort to Salvage Election
- Moosepeace Beer Produces Ultimate Disinfectant
- Scientists mathematically prove that geologists are absolute idiots
- Edmonton-area man taken to hospital after losing his iron ring, goes berserk
- Alberta declares state of public health emergency, bans extreme ironing and underwater hockey
- Weekend party could cost Calgary-area geologist and friends more than $240,000
- 69,837,420,298 pico-litres of crude oil spills near Bitchko Lake, Alberta
- Canadian Space Agency Announces Plans for the Future
- Alberta creates new Task Force to enforce new COVID-19 restrictions
- In Flanders Fields, the poppies blow
- Elon Musk announces E-Pipeline
- TRUMP WINS!
- Rural Alberta man secures government funding to create world’s first oxygen farm
- Political Palaeontologists may have discovered the real reason dinosaurs went extinct
- 2P News Sponsors Ugly Geologist Contest
- How to Avoid Covid-19 Exposure
- Cenovus Adopts a Puppy
- Hollimorton-Viagro deal to take artificial lift sector to new heights
- Tree Squids Attack California Oil Industry
- Scientists discover the flattest, squarest surface on the planet
- Sir William’s History Corner: It Happened in New Orleans
- Top Excuses for a Dry Hole
- Antoine interviews Andy Killinger about his overseas Coronavirus adventures
- Rodecker Smith’s Unsolved Mysteries
- SmartDart™: New Oil & Gas Exploration Tool
- Robsidian Energy optimizes employee physical distancing with excess office space
- Geologists to host 2020 Energy Conference in Condo
- Startling New Paleontological Finds
- Shift in markets drives new exploration targets for oil producers
- BREAKING NEWS! Prince Edward Island Abducted by UFO
- Homephobia on the rise in Calgary area, engineers lead the way
- Test your knowledge with the 2P News oil and gas industry quiz
- Putin to Run for U. S. President
- Liberal “green recovery” throne speech to unveil plan to flatten Canada
- Sir William’s History Corner – California
- Dear Andy – I Need Moose Hunting Advice
- COVID-19 transmitted by mosquitos
- CNAWA reveals climate change truths
- Kamala Harris Running for U. S. Vice President Despite Being Dead
- Secret Negotiations to Swap Alberta for California
- Trump Revealed to be Rogue Ventriloquist Dummy
- Sir William’s History Corner – Houston
- These retaliatory plans Canada has for the new U.S. aluminum tariffs will shock you
- WOOPS to Offer Psychiatric Counseling
- 2P News to Open New Restaurant in Beau Tower
- Deadly New iPhone Now Available
- BREAKING NEWS! Giant Spiders Invade British Columbia
- 2P News to Purchase Edmonton Newspaper
- Dear Annie: I think I have COVID but I can’t get to a testing station, do you have any DIY ideas?
- 5-D Seismic Surveys Now Available
- Liberals going back to basics to tackle projected $340B deficit
- Alberta Closes All Borders – Effective Immediately
- Dear Andy – Revenge is a Dish Best Served Cold
- Bedtime Stories for Young Geologists
- Suncore spinoff company introduces line of organic tanning lotions
- Sir William’s History Corner – Clovenhoof College Days
- New Canadian Oil & Gas Technology
- Moosepeace enters craft beer market for Canada Day; fails miserably
- 2P News’ Gretel Foonberger Exposed as 37-Year-Old Man
- North Korea Discovers Significant LPG Reserves
- Dear Andy: My wife left me, I’m lonely, and looking for some massage parlour tips
- Vampires Relocating to Calgary
- Unemployed Petroleum Professionals Technical Conference coming to Calgary this summer!
- Oil Industry Committee Whines to U. S. Government
- Cultural Learnings of Geology for the Glorious Profession of Engineering
- The world’s largest crayon maker is being sued by geologists, here’s why
- Calgary City Council split over Nenshi’s new plan to generate revenue
- BREAKING NEWS! Corona Virus tells all in exclusive interview with 2P News
- Can oil prices be boosted by an internationally coordinated surplus burn down? Yes
- Exposed: The truth behind Calgary playground closures
- Geologist invents productivity-boosting office chair recline device
- Apple, Samsung, Huawei to force social distancing measures with update
- Top 10 Covid-19 Myths Debunked
- Calgary-based researchers exploit anti-oil sentiment at a DNA-level to develop Covid-19 vaccine candidate
- Dear Andy: I’m worried about a recent outbreak of NerdVid-42 viruses spreading through my office, what should I do?
- ShamWow-based super towels approved for oil spill cleanup along BC’s coastline
- Breaking News! Downtown Calgary blockade grinds city to a halt
- Alberta proposes novel hybrid Heavy Oil/Hydro power generation strategy
- Breaking News: Suspects stowaway on SpaceEX rocket planning to access moon for oil exploration
- Geologists discovered investing in future vacation properties
- Engdie Resources sees stock soar after banning office engineers from the field
- Co-locating coronavirus patients with engineers is as good as quarantining them: IHS
- Thirty-two 1970’s era drilling rigs to be erected as public art in Edmonton
- Beer Review: Moosepeace Brewery’s new “Don’t be a Hoser” 7-pack
- Canada Scraps Carbon Tax
- Movie Review: Shale Wars – The Permian Strikes Back
- The 12 Days of Christmas – 2P News’ Style
- Oil and gas companies to reduce geology staffing costs in 2020 with new “Drill Here” button
- Researchers discover widespread methods used by engineers to avoid social interactions
- Carbon Cancelled Christmas
- Emissions-less driving coming to Canada early 2021
- Premier Kenney strikes Climate Swap deal with State of California
- CALGARY BUDGET RECOMMENDATIONS: APEGA Pro-Panel Suggestions
- “Man or Not a Man” – take the 2P News Oil and Gas Industry Quiz!
- Bendovus Energy Introduces Upscale ‘Free Range’ Barrels
- Association of Calgary Engineers addresses city’s proposed budget cuts
- City Council votes in favour of using super-heated bitumen to keep Calgary snow-free
- “Skip the Cleaners” walk-through laundry service struggles in downtown Calgary
- 2P News Welcomes Gretel Foonberger to the team!
- Winnipeg-area math teacher arrested at Pearson attempting to board with geometry set
- MIT engineering prodigy takes geology course, world-record IQ drops 81%
- University of Eastern Ontario Modernizes Geology and Earth Science Program
- 2P News supports Climate Change Friday through various initiatives
- Calgary e-scooter pilot hits road bump with units hacked to take down geologists, managers
- ‘They are not dangerous animals’: Judge allows Calgary engineer to bring emotional support lion to work
- Robsidian Energy to close doors after failed strategic alternatives
- Home-based carbon capture system to hit store shelves this fall
- Ninja Outplacement Services swoops in to silently slice jobs
- 2P News releases top recommended slogans for this fall’s campaign season
- Barelington Resources plans to raise capital through a negative dividend
- Consortium of geologists lobby to insert a day between Saturday and Sunday
- Movie Review: PNG Hypocritters: Payback is a biotch, y’all!
- Engineers claim data not actually stored in clouds, push for class-action
- Canada’s Next Top Prime Minister coming to SeeTV this fall
- Five Things Everyone Should Know About Oil & Gas Executives
- Dear Andy: The engineer in the cubicle next to me has hygiene issues, what should I do?
- Police lockdown Calgary core in response to attacks, 15 people arrested and charged
- Study: Engineers are educated far beyond their intelligence level
- Impossible Grub to introduce biodegradable “Beyond Pipe™” pipelines
- New Stampede freak show exhibits rare oil and gas professionals
- Premier Kenney challenges Justin Trudeau to bull-riding contest
- Top 10 drinks of the Calgary Stampede 2019
- Calgary Stampede introduces newly re-approved Trans-Pede Roller Coaster
- ‘This is absolutely absurd’: Calgary cyclists cranked up over city council’s proposal for cycle tollbooths
- LEAKED VIDEO: Secret Trudeau Water-Box testing
- Pro-oil group confuses leftwing eco-activists at rally with new term ‘anti-anti-pipeline protester supporter’
- Canada Goosed plans to enter tropical climates in attempt to bolster plunging stock
- Trudeau purchases CNRL, restructuring revealed!
- Drinking way, way, way up in Saskatchewan thanks to kids, survey finds
- Engineers to help control Rumwhiskeystan’s overpopulation
- Mexico Opens Oil Industry to Foreign Investment; Nobody Interested
- DNA Tests Reveal Justin Trudeau and Jason Kenney are half brothers
- BC environmental activist drives largest SUV ever built
- Group of UofA Researchers use AI to unlock the secret to what the heck Justin Trudeau is saying
- Casket Wars Canada reality TV show sweeping the nation
- China bans Trudeau
- VP of HR fired for using excessive buzzwords in company-wide email
- West-Central Canada Listed For Sale on MLS
- Kenney names Trudeau, Notley, & Horgan in class-action suit to the tune of $787 vigintoctillion over poor resource management
- Top 10 Failed Inventions by Out-of-Work Albertans
- Dear Andy: I have a crush on a girl from the Land department. What should I do?
- <strong>Blast from the past (05/2013):</strong> Shocking development in Stephen Harper’s Senate spending scandal
- Calgary City Council Implements Visitor Tax
- Movie Review: The Notrix
- Geology-inspired Phi-K Doughnuts coming to downtown Calgary this spring
- Social Skills for Engineering Students Added to University Curriculum
- Kenney to outlaw the colour orange if elected; Alberta Carrot Growers Association fuming
- Nuclear-Powered Brassiere Explodes During Seismic Survey
- Notley, Kenney to settle election in no holds barred cage match
- Alberta NDP Releases Campaign Platform for Spring 2019 Re-Election
- Geologists can perform basic arithmetic, study says: ‘We engineers are not the only sophisticated ones’
- Coatex Energy Services invents new <i>FlowStop™</i> tubing packer system
- TRUDEAU RESIGNS!
- Suspicious NoNo Challenge discovered in Oil & Gas apps and tutorials
- Trudeau in hot water for adding personal conditions to the TransMountain approval
- Geophysicists form band, recreate hit song, ready for career change
- Crashent Point Energy Takes Diversity Inclusion to Unprecedented Heights
- Notley vows to purchase Devon Energy
- PNG companies create Task Force to regulate coffee and lunch breaks
- Crime Minister under investigation for protecting yet another Crimebec-based engineering firm
- 2P News raises $1.46 in IPO, introduces annual dividend program
- Dear Andy: How should I propose to my girlfriend?
- Calgary company charged with entrapment and forcible confinement following locked room event
- Cascadia Twin XXL Pipeline approved! Western oil will move eastward.
- The Association of Canadian Exploration Geoscientists scales down 2019 Technical Conference
- Justin contacts father for advice through psychic medium Zamminilli
- Tropical Storm Trump-Niño crawls over US leaving plummeting popularity in its wake
- 2P Editorial: It’s okay to be offended… really it is. You will be just fine.
- Lunar warming further evidence that Sun causes global warming: Study
- Trudeau proposes plan to transport oil by passenger car
- Poll: Do you support Canadian pipelines?
- Bendovus Energy forces engineering staff to undergo sensitivity training
- Calgary-area geologist facing charges for tampering with co-worker’s lunches
- Brokepipe Mountain: Movie Review
- Growing splinter group of pro-Alberta protesters challenge the East to ‘all out war’
- Trans Canadian Pipelines and Western Rail team-up to build world’s first trainpipe
- UN moves to ban geological studies worldwide
- Notley Government: We don’t need pipelines, OIL FLOATS!
- 2P News introduces Rob Oto III – part robot, part employee, all good
- Anne Hydrite and Ray Tracing – A love story
- Disney looks to expand theme park business into Alberta
- Shock collars modified to keep engineers in check, general public rejoices
- Job cuts looming after 2P News releases disappointing Q3 results
- In a secret room under the garage, wife uncovers the largest trove of engineering trappings in North America
- Top 10 things you’ll never hear an engineer say
- Take the 2P News Career Personality Quiz!
- Police bust guerrilla grow-op in downtown Calgary’s Devonian Gardens
- NDP finally concedes and agrees to reduce minimum wage by -$2.50 by 2019
- Starbucks and Tim Hortons make way for The Swabbing Cup
- 2P News co-founders, missing since April 2016, found wandering on Australian island
- Canada Goosed stock surges after announcing new line of higher-end parkas for the Calgary-area market
- Canadian Space Agency sending geologists to Mars and the Moon to study space rocks
- Trudeau demands apology from Sony CEO for inappropriately naming its popular 1980s portable cassette player
- Revolutionary new smart glasses help ordinary people see the world from an engineer’s perspective
- Alberta responds swiftly to Kinder Morgan court decision
- Vitamin delivery mixup causes chaos in oilsands work camp
- 2P Careers – Senior Leader of Team Leading Leaders
- Babetex Energy downgraded to Sosotex Energy after poor Stampede week results
- Judge orders man to write 117 nice things about his former boss
- Calgary-based non-profit invents technology to clean-up the subsurface environment
- Facebook Canada hires independent fact checkers 2P News to tackle ‘fake news’
- Trump taking immigration separation policies to unprecedented levels
- Green Peace launches lawsuit against new PETA organization
- Ground search for missing Calgary engineer called off after about 9 minutes
- Shocking video shows man driving a BMW use its turn signals near downtown Calgary
- Canada to declare military war against the US amid trade disputes
- Trudeau hires Vancouver-based firm to redesign Trans Mountain expansion
- Leaked: Kinder Morgan announces plan to mediate trade battle
- Tertiary Oil Recovery Process Patented
- Inuit to Farm-Raise Sperm Whales
- Surplus Aircraft to be used in Tar Sand Mining
- War Declared after Japecks/Mitsooey Sneak Attack on TexxonMogul
- Popeye Revealed as New Owner of Oyl Company
- 2P News Staffers Yu Mii and Cynthia Redbush in Catfight!
- The Ballad of Calgary Joe
- Interview of TexxonMogul CEO Max Avarice
- Office Odor Problems Solved with New Technology
- Calgary-area man would like to see higher oil prices
- Pegmatites Declared Noxious Rocks
- Blimp to Refuel Ice Road Trucks on the Fly in Alaska
- Marvel to Publish OilMan Comic Book
- Rocky and Bullwinkle Defect to Canada
- Last Two Palynologists Die, Species Declared Extinct
- Killer Klowns from Outer Space to Invest in Moosepeace Beer
- California Cows Agree to Reduce Emissions
- Oil Company “Dirty Tricks” Uncovered!
- Bob Hope and Bing Crosby to Make ‘Road to Calgary’ Movie
- Revolutionary Petroleum Refining Technology Touted
- IT Scandal at TexxonMogul!
- Public Health Service SWAT Team Raids Bigass Oil Co. Men’s Room
- Unique New Reservoir Simulator Now Available
- Belgian Company Touts New Pipeline Inspection Service
- Amphibian Population Decline Blamed on Oil Field Acidizing
- Former Texas Governor Rags on Alberta Cuisine
- Hollimorton Continues Acquisition Binge Despite Downturn
- Scientists Admit that the Earth is Flat After All
- Yellowstone Supervolcano Erupts; Mankind Doomed
- Dear Andy: What Can I Do If I’m Laid Off?
- Satan Sued by Environmentalist Groups for Breach of Contract
- Phanerotoptric Congeneration Used to Identify Fentel Trends
- Oil Well Stimulation Method Will Use SADMs to Replace Fracking
- Liechtenstein Bans Fracking; World Barely Notices
- California Demands Oil & Gas Tax Payment in Gold
- Landman Awakens from Coma, Sees Price of Oil, Relapses
- Fred Flintstone Named President of ComicalPhilistine
- Bendovus Hires Godzilla to Stomp the Crap out of Rival Companies
- New Spaceplane Service From Calgary to Edmonton Announced
- Obama Demands Reversal of Continental Drift
- Bendovus to Install Jumbotron Next to Headquarters
- RCN Tracking Russian Submarine in Lake Louise
- SBI uncovers plot by US Shale Oil producers to destroy Saudi oil pools
- Oil Field Training School Opened On Dagobah
- A day in the life
- Notley’s climate plan amended to include hard cap on bovine methane emissions
- Railroad Tank Cars to be Fitted with Training Wheels
- Notley announces plan for housing refugees in Alberta
- Rey Rey promoted to optimize Tim Hortons lineups across Canada
- Peace for France, Peace for All
- Alberta Premier Proposes “Rounder Act of 2015”
- Shill Oil Co. Recruits Yetis for Arctic Drilling Project
- Petroleum Engineer to Marry Geologist
- EPA approves high-pressure subsurface fluid filtering
- New Supersized Drilling Rig Pulls 10-Joint Stands
- Dear Andy: How can my company survive at sub $50 oil?
- Interview with King Fuhd of Sowdy Arabica
- Northern Alberta group unveils GGA fighting league
- Bendovus executive benefits revealed
- OPHC meeting planned to decide the fate of oil industry
- RCMP foil “illegal APEGA strike plot” with 2 arrests in midday raid
- Crazy Old Fart Reveals Secrets of Seismic Processing
- PUGOE Resources launches hiring blitz in Calgary
- Skunks to Replace Methyl Mercaptan in Natural Gas Odorizing
- 5 Things everyone should know about geologists
- Illinois Invades North Dakota, Seizes Oil Fields
- Biochemistry breakthrough saves oil industry
- New drill bit technology unveiled in Williston, North Dakota
- Alberta NDP introduces new tax incentives
- Software glitch to blame for global market slump
- EnCana to close Calgary office and move staff to Grand Prairie
- 2P News opens virtual office in Houston
- AeroOil releases PetroNano transport technology
- PETA calls to put an end to all LNG development
- Cinco Ranch, TX man facing multiple charges for trapping engineers
- NDP to Oil Industry: “Drop Dead!”
- Crude oil holds inaugural state of the industry press conference
- Wall Street Journal Exposes 2P News as Fraudulent!
- Condoms ease Northern Gateway concerns
- Gund Watercraft Ltd. enters into a contract with Sparrow Energy
- Geologists are strange? Nooooo… you don’t say.
- Mayor Nenshi creates municipal Oil and Gas royalty
- Petroleum research group promises to revolutionize fracking
- Geologists drink engineers under the table over the lunch hour
- Bendovus Touts New Technology on Corporate Website
- Crashent Point acquires Saskatchewan
- Bendovus Energy rolls out “3-Ply Thursdays”
- Consortium plans to use H2S to deal with ISIS
- New business venture creating jobs for unemployed oilfield workers
- Stampede Girl sits down with 2P News to set the record straight
- NDP Orders Complete Shutdown of Oil Sands Activity; Arctic Crocodile at Risk
- Calgary police asking for public’s help finding drunken Stampede party-goers
- Calgary area man boycotts 2015 Calgary Stampede
- Calgary city council votes on urban resource development
- Moosepeace Beer Sponsors Amateur Brewing Contest
- HAPPY CANADA DAY
- Rodecker Smith Takes Medical Leave from 2P News
- Calgary startup tests down hole refinery prototype
- Notley’s NDP mandates transport of oil by horse and wagon
- Engineers move to ban rocks
- Problem geologists need help: WOOPS
- Laws of physics break down near executive offices
- NDP to offer Canadian geologists full pension to retire
- Dear Andy: How can my team still have fun this Stampede with no expense budget?
- LEG Up NRG under fire for insanely ridiculous job titles
- Enbridge retaliates against Tim Hortons
- Endwell Energy isolates engineering staff
- Engineers are far less emotional than rats: Study
- China Wants Its Money Back; U.S.A. Says Nuh-Uh
- NDP Energy Minister embarrassed after industry meet and greet
- Slide Rules Make Comeback – Computer Geeks Stunned
- NDP MLA recruitment ad found on Kijiji
- NDP to increase royalties and corporate tax June 1
- Moose Turds Identified as New Energy Source; Oil Companies Horrified
- Starbucks opens a Starbucks inside another Starbucks
- Breaking news!! 2P News website hacked, perps made site better
- Street talk
- Hovercraft skirts road ban, drilling continues
- OPEC & Obama launch civil suits against Canada
- Prentice hired to help Notley build NDP cabinet
- Notley to Prentice: “MATT IS NOT HUARD”
- Queen of England steps in to help with Alberta spring election
- Tests Show BangStim™ Outperforms Fracking
- Shall Energy improves Oilsands flow processing systems
- Tachyon beams used to locate petroleum deposits
- 2P News to form party, run in spring Alberta election
- Porosity exchange theory gaining traction with geologists
- Massive Asteroid to Strike Earth; Geologists Delighted
- Breaking News! New seismic wave discovered
- Calgary area engineer awarded patents for optimizing condiment recovery
- Harper & Obama propose new Cuban Energy Alliance
- Jim Prentice facing charges after review by Crown Prosecutor
- Study: Rectilinear contouring eliminates need for geologists
- Big oil hires Easter Bunny to deliver oil-filled eggs
- 2P News closed; staff dragged off in chains
- Hasbeens Alberta coming to SeeTV, starring Redford and Smith
- Hollywood to US Oil producers: “Just stop already!”
- Bitumen Gas found to be Hallucinogenic
- Cheaterson office staff forced into the field
- Quebec poised to dominate Canada’s Oil Industry
- Terminator 6 – Rise of the Managers: Movie Review
- Pemex sending undocumented oil to U.S.A.
- Bendovus charged with falsifying reserves
- HISMarkitup teams up with Shamburger to revolutionize the oilfield
- Alberta oil sands go green
- Prentice blames everyone else
- Genetically modified bamboo self-drills oil wells
- Eastern Canada saved by Alberta
- CNOOC to drill super well for interoffice communications with Nexen
- Stettler Alberta faces frac contaminated water supply
- Prentice promises $110 oil if re-elected
- 5 Things everyone should know about geologists (Part II)
- Corbomite Industries Develops Reactor; Oil Obsolete
- World energy debate pits OPEC against WOOPS
- New target for anti-fracking hysterics created
- Hollimorton Frac Fluid Additive is Chicken Soup
- City of Calgary announces private C-Train for new gated community
- 2P News stock downgraded
- Oil Insurance claims skyrocket in Q1
- Bendovus Energy Hires Exploration Astrologer
- Enkarma CEO agrees with climate change
- Hooters acquires oil and gas company
- Prentice: I can balance the budget even at $30 oil!
- Geologist assaulted for teasing MWD staff
- Devan Canada cracks down on loader racing
- Natural Gas price skyrockets with completion of CSF project
- Gasifous Energy introduces Bovine Recovery
- United Nations Summit Disbanded – Global Warming Halted
- Crustal drilling project results in Volcano near Didsbury
- Soap Opera “General Hospital” Reset to Calgary
- Accountant uses psychology to help oil and gas professionals
- North Pole Slashes 2015 Budget
- Forest Beetle mating habits disrupted by fracking, Saskatchewan calls for ban
- Undercover Boss Oil & Gas CEO assaulted
- 2015 Stampede rumoured to be cancelled
- Oilsands farce! Suncor facing securities charges
- Substance abuse leads Cheaterson to Implement new safeguards
- WWE WrestleMania Event to Feature Energy CEOs
- Trudeau uses low oil prices to sway conservatives
- 2P News Predicts $200 oil by March
- Giant Squid to perform subsea repairs
- Big Oil CEO says $12 oil is coming
- Oilsands crude discovered to have 38% THC content
- Engineer invents cuttings teleportation machine
- Global warming shown to increase with fracking: Study
- 2P News Exposed as Front for CSIS
- 43% of Bendovus staff resign after Tuesday’s town hall
- Air Canada plans to reduce in-flight turbulence
- University of Texas to Merge with Texas A&M
- Bendovus Energy sponsors talent show and beer fest
- Ghomeshi sits down with 2P to discuss his new book: 50 Shades of Ghom
- Norse Gods form Midgard Geophysical Services
- Liberal Party of Canada platform leaked
- Breaking News! Texas runs out of oil
- “Consume more petroleum-based products!” – head of oil producer consortium
- Gotham Petroleum goes Bat Shit Crazy
- Apple to unveil engineering computer – the iEng
- Planet refuses to allow exploration drilling
- Laptop Computer Modified for Geologists
- Polar ice water the future of frac fluids
- Improved oil extraction technologies have unexpected impact on oil prices
- Hollimorton re-signs settlement for Macondo damages
- Bent Pipe Directional release PWW MWD technology
- Top Gear filming episode in northern Alberta
- Prentice promises candy for everyone
- PNG major improves morale by creating Engineer-only floors
- University removes most reservoir engineering equations from courses
- 2P News proposes new public transit corridor in NW
- Houston-based company believes it can achieve 90% oil recovery
- CRTC forces 2P News to cutback outrageous content
- Prentice to introduce Alberta passport regulations
- Man saves intercontinental flight from drunk geologist
- 3 rig workers injured in tragic wildlife attack
- Fat geologists perform better than thin geologists: Study
- Eagleford Shale Hoax Unearthed
- Helium flood project breathing new life into aging field
- Shlumburger to revolutionize horizontal drilling
- Cenovus Energy buys ad space on 2P News
- University of Texas Announces Remedial Language Class for Non-Texans
- New CCE powered vehicles unveiled at AutoMania in London
- Obama to Run for President of Canada
- Calgary City Council to organize clothing drive to get Neshi a new suit
- Oil company charged for imprudent operations along Trans-Canada HWY
- Heffner’s “High Energy” magazine set to hit stands December 1st
- Commuters angry with proposed Crowchild closure
- CEO Plans Exorcism for Technical Staff
- Farmer charged after filling his dugout with diesel
- California billionaire proposes making earthquakes illegal
- Google makes bid to acquire every Oil and Gas operator in Canada
- Duct Tape shares skyrocket after the miracle tape seals pipeline in BC
- 2P News to introduce subscription fee in 2040
- Cross Training Leads to Tragic Result
- Jupiter-to-Earth Pipeline in Engineering Phase
- Redford turns herself in and proposes criminal charges
- Willie Nelson to Hold Aid Concert for Destitute Oil Field Workers
- An Interview with Sir William Shortspeare
- Gas producer sues farmer for damaging its reservoirs
- AAPG, CSPG and SPE to Merge
- Central Alberta prison offers Geological training to inmates
- Pub lunch costs Bendovus Energy millions
- Ogle Earth Expands into New Market
- Alison Redford Toronto-bound, eyes mayorship
- Oil & Grass community disrupts downtown Calgary
- Fracture completions linked to rare mental disorder
- Engineer discovers Coca Cola neutralizes soil contamination
- Use of out-of-service platforms to create artificial mountains proposed
- Student makes air pollution smell nicer, problem solved
- Directional drilling tools used to rob bank
- Reservoir engineer perfects sweep efficiency
- Subsurface PNG professionals launch Rez-Rescue emergency response
- Bendovus and Cheaterson promise to pave Alberta
- Frick and Frack trademark holder to sue pretty much everybody
- Glenmore reservoir pollution study approved
- Top 20 suggestions for new Alberta plates
- Junior accountant under fire for major AFE overruns
- Company implements no-fault well planning strategy
- Fracking responsible for increasing Chandler wobble: Study
- Moosepeace Beer Announces Drilling Mud Subsidiary
- Divorce Booth at Stampede draws criticism
- 2 men charged after failed attempts to access Stampede grounds
- Engineers arrested for Stampede prank
- Dear Andy: Ultimate cures for a Stampede hangover
- VIP only Stampede bash revealed
- Happy Fourth of July to America
- Glitch sees Redford still collecting Premier’s salary
- Axxis Chemical Co. introduces breakthrough acid treatment
- Happy 147th Birthday Canada
- City of Calgary decides to pass on sale of McCall Golf Course
- Engineer responsible for multiple injuries in Texas
- Form-fitting bitumen bed promises fewer back injuries and better health
- Secret tattoo found on Stephen Harper’s scalp, opposition looking for answers
- Calgary’s Bow Tower head sculpture targeted by bladder vandals
- Corporate joint-venture aims to drill Canada’s longest wells
- LuLuLemon to unveil new oilfield work gear
- Lunar Drilling Program launched by Richard Branson
- Geologist survives a Moose attack in NE British Columbia
- Geologist opens Calgary’s first Pub Truck
- Obama planning to charge duty on US oil under Canadian soil
- Top 10 new technologies unveiled at the Global Petroleum Show
- Houston area man drills well in backyard, charges laid
- Alberta government mandates new warning labels on fracking vehicles
- Midnight Oil Runners – Movie Reivew
- Mooncor launches petroleum irrigation project
- Nenshi solves downtown Calgary’s traffic problems
- QTG Engineering proposes The Skyline, an aerial pipeline to move crude
- Writedown Resources to release weak Q2 results after strong Q1 results sink share price
- New fracking technology safe for everyone
- Lukaszuk’s leadership campaign promises may not win voter confidence
- MWD hand awakens from 13 hour nap, stuck in couch, loses arm
- Calgary city council approves $18.3M upgrade to curbside bins
- Hydrogen fuel cells now considered a WMD by US government
- Justin Trudeau promises to lower sea levels to reverse impact of global warming
- Alison Redford teams up with Ed Stelmach to form Hasbeen Resources
- Geothermal efficiency increases to 3000% thanks to fracking
- Bannik Gold set to introduce SAGD-WTF technology
- Experimental seismic drones shot down over Midland, TX
- Gasoline prices expected to hit $2.50 on May Long Weekend
- Geology student creates mini-coring machine, cores EVERYTHING
- 2P News co-founders reject $1.15B offer from Bendovus Energy
- King challenges engineer to a duel over rights to drill
- Bendovus has receipts, tries to return The Beau Tower
- Oil and gas industry bathroom etiquette for dummies – a practical guide
- 7 injured, 4 missing, after unauthorized party at oil facility
- Small Rod Drilling Services invents MicroWells™ drilling technology, has trouble finding clients
- Bendovus Energy offers $367 billion dollar payout
- President Obama cancels KeystoneXL, unveils MegaCanal project
- Dear Andy: I love my job but hate my boss. What should I do?
- New flood prevention scheme to save Calgary and area
- Donald Sterling sells the LA Clippers, launches Whitey Oil Corp.
- CNG vehicles so quiet drivers fall asleep at the wheel
- Former oil and gas executives launch Oil World theme park
- IINTA audits 2P News, risk of popular news site being shut down
- Saudi-based E&P major closes its doors after 71 years in the business
- Calgary City Council to re-freeze streets to take advantage of excess road gravel
- Crater Energy achieves 97% recovery through new compaction drive mechanism
- Fracking causes environmental damage in alternate universes: CERN
- Easter Bunny’s burrow discovered, drilling halted
- PNG golf tournament delayed when geologist stumbles upon rocks
- 93.4% of geologists are over qualified: International Study
- Alberta Treasury unveils Technical Disability Tax Credit, CRA to follow
- Engineer’s daughter returns to Calgary
- CRA hacked! One per-centers’ passwords leaked on Read-It
- Quebec’s new Premier Couillard to be investigated by APEGA
- Breaking News! Geologists grind downtown Calgary to a halt due to excess road gravel
- New Colorado project uses depleted oil reservoirs to store a different kind of oil
- Walmart acquires Neighbours Drilling for $12.7B
- Directional drillers open chain of restaurants
- Mayor Nenshi proposes “Brighten Up Stephen Ave” plan to City Council
- Dwellers of The Deep: Movie Review
- Alison Redford fails miserably on The Price is Right
- LASER oil well drilling project approved by AER
- Area oil and gas professionals charged after leaving dark pub, disoriented
- Second Hand Energy hits 35,000 bopd from new recovery efforts
- Keystone Pipeline cancelled after massive water main break in China
- New Redford cabinet think tank thinks tanks
- Study: Polar Vortex phenomenon caused by Stettler, Alberta wind farms
- Alison Redford to change her name and image to regain support
- Bendovus Energy CEO buys corporate 777 from North Korean Craigslist
- Oilsands giants partner to announce “Bitumen Fresh” air fresheners
- Calgary City Councillor Sean Chu proposes 6-lane freeway
- Geophysicist develops 6th sense for discovering PNG deposits
- Rimshot Energy sells 100% of its West 3 assets
- Geologists make startling discovery, CBC outraged with denial
- Breaking News! Manhunt underway for Canada’s most dangerous engineers
- Rob Ford tours Eagleford, TX oil play in search of cracking operations
- Budgets smashed as HighCapEx Resources implements The Money Button
- Geologists flood Calgary Home Show after misinterpreting “Basement Features” workshop
- 5 things everybody should know about engineers
- New Thermal Capture ZR-GHA tool unveiled at Houston Oil Expo
- This just in! Human Resources department actually says yes
- Area engineer suffers mental breakdown after friends discover his penchant for geology
- Development engineer uses Value Navigator to plan wedding, bride loses it
- Best West Exploration employs crowd-sourcing to fund Q3 drilling program
- Bark Resources stock surges with news of enhanced safety policy
- Bendovus Energy’s CEO tells God to end Winter
- CEO fired after mandating that geologists use Sequence Calligraphy technique
- Engineer, 37, has grand plans for son born with square root birthmark
- Senior VP demoted to greeter receives $25.7M bonus, shareholders infuriated
- Tuesday Feb. 11th Oilympic update: Landman Grab and Coyote Biathalon
- Monday Feb. 10th Oilympic Update: the Bit Curl and Truck Skiing
- Hardisty, Alberta welcomes the Western Canadian 2014 Winter Oilympics
- Prime Minister Harper reveals proof that frac chemicals are non-toxic
- Engineer develops new app to revolutionize office-to-field communications
- Dear Annie, I’m surrounded by idiots at work, what can I do?
- SloPump Completion Ltd. introduces SmallBall™ technology
- APEGA EGP-SWAT team raids Edmonton businesses, hundreds arrested and charged
- New circular experience program gives middle managers a wider perspective
- New bear safety program fails in NE BC after bears are a no-show
- BallSmack Oil Services announces 44% Platinum dividend
- Holt Renfrew launches exclusive boutique, SWAG
- Geologist-in-Training launches wrongful dismissal suit
- Neil Young secretly plans hostile oilsands takeover
- Two women arrested in connection with an assault on the ‘The Passersby Club’
- Study: 91.3% of Calgary head-office oil and gas staff abuse recreational drugs
- Northern Grainway concept gains traction
- Operator’s production mysteriously dropped over the holiday season
- Anti-fracking protesters charged in New Brunswick
- Robotic operators introduced at Japanese Oil Expo, not what you think
- Frac fluid discovered to cure STIs
- New oil and gas reality show set to air on NBC
- Enviro groups lobby for subsurface well reclamation requirements
- Beau Building sewage backup goes unnoticed for 3 weeks
- Canada Goose parkas make way for the Northern Beaver
- Calgary Resources Inc. flops first oil well, taxpayers outraged
- 2P News publishes 197th article, team says thanks
- Santa Claus divests North Pole, acquires region’s oil and gas rights
- OilLee: Movie Review
- Study: Burning fossil fuels reduces earth’s mass, risk of planet leaving orbit
- Take the 2P News 2013 Year in Review quiz
- Perpetual Resources attempts to book “infinite” reserves, SEC says no!
- Lightweight piping fails in Saskatchewan, massive oil spill ensues
- Deranged engineer commandeers C-Train, expedites commute to work
- PNG startup to revolutionize oil recovery by drilling new-aged wells
- Company proposes heating HWY 63 to Ft. McMurray
- SkyDream Resources to target gas in Chinese mountains
- 10 great reasons to buy flowers for your boss
- Sasquatch sighting near drilling rig in British Columbia
- New drill bit from MaxForce marks the first 500m per hour well
- Magnetronical Technologies begins pilot in Oklahoma
- IT department implements new security measures, 27% of staff quit
- Company cuts core along entire HZ leg of well to confirm in-zone drilling
- Dear Andy: I’m looking for a job after just getting downsized, I need your help.
- Small town restaurant offers a ‘Frac Sandwich’ but won’t say what’s in it
- 70s Geologist, Debbil Maysong, wants his pencils back
- Group awarded honourary seating at Starbucks
- 95% of Sask oil workers in jail after Grey Cup – Bakken production to plummet
- Mayor Ford turns life around after visiting Nenshi at retreat near Calgary
- 3 ducks killed crossing street, PISD protests driving
- Bendovus Energy geological prodigy reveals vision for company’s growth
- City of Calgary to close Deerfoot Trail as ring road construction progresses
- Dear Andy: I suffer from stage fright taking a pee at work, what should I do?
- WCB enacts new tether line regulation for vehicles
- Long Island Medium star consults for Cheaterson Energy in Texas
- Woman sues Gorebrant Exploration after management insults her intelligence
- Penticton man charged after driving Prius into an area Starbucks
- British Columbia to create coastal oil sands to avoid Northern Gateway Pipeline
- Alberta Health and Safety recognizes Engineeritis as an insurable affliction
- E&P fitness incentive cuts Reacheround’s costs
- Halfkatch Energy buys 74,576 gas wells in Saskatchewan
- Calgary’s Plus 15 walkways renamed “Tunnels of Love” after Nenshi discovers Tantra
- Gheytex Energy to launch Rear-Entry well recovery program in 2014
- Harvard and Yale estatistics team theorize 99.8% of all booked oil reserves are way off
- Area geologist’s rock collection stolen, sympathy donations reach $500,000
- PowerPants® unveiled by 2P News scientists at Renewable Energy trade show
- Dam Hydro! releases study damning Hydro-Electric power
- Geothermal heating contributing to Global Warming
- Study: Wind Turbines disrupt natural wind currents, cause hurricanes, and kill birds
- Scientists discover that solar power drains the Sun
- Fairview man hospitalized after downhole packer failure
- Bendovus Energy’s stock plummets on rumours of corporate name change
- Oil & Gas Ping Pong tournament sets record attendance
- Estrogen levels getting far too high in the oil industry
- Canada acquires the United States of America for $2.1B
- Fertility specialist adapts oilfield frac technology to insemination techniques
- Argument leads to mayhem at APEGA conflict resolution seminar, 3 injured
- Safety inspections required every 2 days on BC drilling rigs
- Bendovus Energy one-ups PNRL’s edge drilling program
- Shill Oil implements new dress code for staff in London
- Male prostitution on the rise in North Dakota
- Freeman Movement takes over downtown Calgary office tower
- Beau Building collapses under immense weight of tenants’ collective egos
- Mayor Nenshi announces a simple solution to flood safety
- Vactruck operator charged with sucking neighbour’s balls
- Quagmire Energy reveals perpetual flush production optimization strategy
- Justin Bieber aquires beleaguered Best West Exploration & Blackberry Inc.
- Frack No More: Movie Review
- Company chases offshore production rates in Northern Saskatchewan
- New APEGA boss: Engineers to lose license to practice in Alberta
- New fracking method developed by Hollimorton will drain all Syrian oil pools – at once
- BREAKING NEWS: Geophysicist Bre-X’d after 3 dry wells
- Company’s new-aged retention incentive discourages quitters
- Engineer devastated to learn daughter, 7, is interested in rocks
- Opinion: Christy Clark is darn hot. Oh yes she is!
- Crashent Point Energy’s joint venture with web-based Nigerian partner fails
- Lokjaws’ Sooperstores to sell canned Alberta crude to hobby refiners in rural Ontario
- Sure Fire Energy fails with super-heated gasoline injection recovery scheme
- Geneticist launches canola crop that may topple Saskatchewan oil exports
- Christy Clark announces 45,000 jobs for new project in BC
- New super union hits Alberta’s private sector oil and gas HQs
- Best West Exploration announces near $0 capital budget for 2014
- New technology at recruitment agency screens candidates by resume thickness
- Sarah Palin refuses Redford’s invitation to BCF fundraiser in Edmonton
- Edkarma sues AER and the Province over leaky overburden in Peabody, Alberta
- French-Canadian separatists rejoice as Premier Marois plans to separate Quebec – Literally
- Landman training course developed by board game publishers
- U of C creates Bachelor’s of Middle Management program
- North Korea announces plans to purchase Finite Resources
- Eng-Man and Geo-Boy, is TC Comics Desperate?
- Mayor Nenshi stuns Calgarians & approves “Core Dress Code” policy
- Area geologist undertakes huge mapping project
- Can coffee end the fracking debate?
- Cougar Valley Resources battles stock collapse on news of 2014 program
- OPEC, In No Mood For Fight, agrees USA is definitely ‘something’
- Keystoned Pipeline approved amid controversy
- Trans-Pacific pipeline proposal approved by China
- Chestjet’s stock deflates as female flight attendants go on strike
- New competition for Ashley Madison fires up in ‘Oil City’ Alberta
- Landsale deal falls apart after fist fight
- Oil price headed to $200 per barrel as lunchmeat crisis hits southern Arkansas
- New style of oilsands mine employs 5000 Little People, Hollywood cancels 7 films
- Token Resources invents THC enhanced MEOR scheme
- Consortium of geologists acquire Map City
- Redford amends flood relief requirements, all houses now required to be jacked
- Directional driller angry with Vatican
- Study: Global warming linked to Sun
- Montreal company drills duster in Canadian Shield
- Alberta floodwater discovery leads to Surface Flood EOR scheme in aging pools
- Darcy Awards celebrate the worst and the worser of the Oil and Gas industry
- Cyclic Oil Flood sets the stage for a new era of market dominance
- New age bike designers latest model confuses industry
- Fry oil used as drilling fluid in Alabama
- Petrophysicist concludes that tools time-travel downhole
- Accountant embezzles AFE money and loses it, literally
- IT staff discovered using company intranet for Doom Tournaments
- Innbread Sheriff’s Deputy alleges geologist is handicapped
- Dear Andy: What’s the best way to cure a Stampede hangover?
- Struggling service company plans biggest Stampede party ever
- Botched surgery leaves Alison Redford well, the same
- New safety policy rubber stamped, costs millions
- Calgary C-Train collision with energy CEO bankrupts City Transit
- Canada in coma after 146th birthday party
- Meteorologist David Spence makes the career jump to reservoir engineering
- New PNG discovery in BC’s interior
- Reserves write down avoided with Schrödinger paradox
- Rare feces find confuses technician
- Wandering river man strikes gold with mobile toilets
- Concert ticket giveaway decimates HyVane Services budget
- Dear Andy Advice Column: Should I study geology or engineering?
- Thomas Lukaszuk caught tipping seniors
- City of Calgary to twin Peace Bridge with half of $52M budget surplus
- Hollimorton invents chemical treatment that creates new oil in-situ
- Alberta drivers furious over new SUV specific road test
- Ridiculous traffic laws wasting millions of dollars
- Area entrepreneur opens combo geological services/food truck
- Toyota creates Prius Geologist Edition, can’t keep them in stock
- Ford’s latest sedan, the “Executive” sets benchmark for alternative fuels
- 2013 APECA Ethanol Consumption Technical Conference
- Geologists form independent professional association
- New heel drilling strategy approved for the Marcellus
- New safety requirements will strain training centers in western Canada
- 420 MMbbl oil pool discovered in Compton, CA
- Bendovus Energy to build new Ivy League type campus
- Aliens vs. Geophysicists – Vibratory Revenge: Movie Review
- New twist on Alberta distracted driving laws
- Secret research facility discovered in the Core
- Finite Resources poorly managed
- Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map
- Former oil company executive relegated to greeter
- Woman claims neighbourhood trees are offensive
- HR department develops online survey to assess effectiveness of online surveys
- Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons
- Consultant proposes digging holes on well leases to bury dirt
- No pipelines, no trains, just Ass
- Mayor Nenshi considers a new downtown courier system for safer, faster deliveries
- Proved Plus Probable reader submits own article
- Drilling rig incident attracts a ‘Mouse’ful of attention
- Oil company misinterprets road sign, bulldozes swingset and builds oil lease
- VP promoted to Senior VP of VPs and reports to Executive VP
- Geologist finds a strong best fit through an amorphous cloud on poro-perm plot
- Man continues to enter PC password despite typo
- Landman expenses non-work-related lunch
- <strong>Versus 1:</strong> Production Engineer vs. Reservoir Engineer
- Oil and gas producing companies need more IT/IS, HR, and accounting staff
- Area woman falls asleep while being enlightened by engineer
- Wellsite geologist drills a dual-leg horizontal well in 100% non-reservoir
- Engineer estimates reserves to 7 decimal place precision
- Company’s stock jumps after Production Engineer fixes rod break
- Woman’s sophisticated order at Starbucks upsets local area man
- Downtown Calgary buildings to be retrofitted to avoid falling ice
- Technical sales manager eats only meeting leftovers at work
- Geological Tech disappointed to find somebody in his safe haven Bat Cave
- Company granted license to drill oil well in downtown Calgary
- Redford considers new royalty of a flat 100%
- Production tech goes for coffee on the way back from going for coffee
- GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making
- Engineer rearranges contents of dishwasher to optimize dirty dish density
- Engineers. Love ’em or hate ’em, you likely gotta deal with ’em.
- Scientists invent a process to convert formation water into light oil
