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Breaking News! Carnivorous Elephant on Rampage in Calgary area!
CALGARY, Alberta – Lakshmi, an Indian elephant held in captivity at the Calgary Zoo, escaped last night and is now prowling the suburbs looking...
Technical/Operations
Engineers claim data not actually stored in clouds, push for class-action
CALGARY, Alberta – The same group of Calgary-based engineers who in early 2018 conservatively, but correctly, estimated that at least 76 texts had been...
2P News to introduce subscription fee in 2040
CALGARY, North Texas - The popular news blogging service that claims to be, "Your #1 source for irrelevant energy and political misinformation" has decided...
Lifestyle
Geology/Geophysics
420 MMbbl oil pool discovered in Compton, CA
LOS ANGELES, California - In a stroke of chemically induced ingenuity, senior geophysicist Smokey Reefer with Oakland-based Vapobong Resources believes he has discovered an...
Casket Wars Canada reality TV show sweeping the nation
CALGARY, Alberta - From the network that brought you Storage Wars and 27 & Counting, B&E's brand new reality TV show, Casket Wars Canada,...
Oil and gas companies to reduce geology staffing costs in 2020 with new “Drill...
CALGARY, Alberta – The oil and gas industry’s technological innovation over the last 150 years is truly astonishing, which his why its lackadaisical adoption...
Breaking News! New seismic wave discovered
CLEVELAND, Ohio - A group of scientists at the Earth Motion Laboratory in Shaker Heights, Ohio announced today the discovery of a new type...
Study: Rectilinear contouring eliminates need for geologists
CALGARY, Alberta - Calgary-based Bendovus Energy recently fired all of its geologists when a task force of engineers undertook an informal study that proved...
70s Geologist, Debbil Maysong, wants his pencils back
CALGARY, Alberta - Gates, Jobs, Page, Brin, and Zuckerberg. These people are a quick list of huge success at the hands of computer tech...
Long Island Medium star consults for Cheaterson Energy in Texas
DALLAS, Texas - Theresa Caputo, star of TLC's hit reality TV show Long Island Medium, recently signed a 12 month contract with Cheaterson Energy...
Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map
HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool Resources, inadvertently stumbled across a potential new type of...
Geologists form independent professional association
CALGARY, Alberta - A group of 13 geologists in Alberta's largest city have made a stand against the ranks of TCEGWC (or The Collective...
Breaking News: Suspects stowaway on SpaceEX rocket planning to access moon for oil exploration
ORLANDO, Florida – Seven security guards at Cape Canaveral Air Force Base were assaulted by 4 suspects who forced entry into a SpaceEX rocket...
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2P News Staff
Most Commented
Dear Andy
Dear Andy: How can my company survive at sub $50 oil?
Dear Andy:
"My name is Pablo. I'm the President of a privately held junior oil and gas operator based out of Houston, Texas and I gotta tell ya, these...
Environment
Rare feces find confuses technician
Marcus Iberious, an environmental consultant with Save Green Ltd., has recently published a paper claiming the existence of Americus Gigantus (AG) in western Alberta...
People's Choice Articles
Scientists invent a process to convert formation water into light oil
CALGARY, Alberta - In a remarkable scientific breakthrough, 2 scientists from the research labs at...
GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making
CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been...
Geologist finds a strong best fit through an amorphous cloud on poro-perm plot
CALGARY, Alberta - There is no question that geology is a subjective science that is...
No pipelines, no trains, just Ass
HARDISTY, Alberta - Pipelines leak. Got it. Trains derail. Got it. So what is the...
Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons
CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the...
HR department develops online survey to assess effectiveness of online surveys
CALGARY, Alberta - The Human Resources department of an intermediate oil and gas producer headquartered...
Former oil company executive relegated to greeter
CALGARY, Alberta -The ever growing price differential for bitumen continues to squeeze the netbacks for...
Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map
HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool...
Aliens vs. Geophysicists – Vibratory Revenge: Movie Review
The Bottom Line
This geophyical, sci-fi revenge fantasy thriller fails to deliver on all fronts.Director-Screenwriter
Francis BirchCast
Brad...
Anne Hydrite and Ray Tracing – A love story
Anne Hydrite first laid eyes on Ray Tracing at an oil and gas convention in...
Back in the Day
Engineers. Love ’em or hate ’em, you likely gotta deal with...
Engineers. If you live in Calgary, there is a good chance you are an engineer, you are married to an engineer, you work with...
Engineer rearranges contents of dishwasher to optimize dirty dish density
CALGARY, Alberta - After seeing his visiting mother-in-law load the dishwasher following a rather large Sunday afternoon family dinner, Anton McKnight, a Petrophysical Engineer...
Production tech goes for coffee on the way back from going...
CALGARY, Alberta - On his way back from a 45 minute morning coffee run with 3 of his production engineering colleagues at Subterra Resources...
