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Recent News

Canadian Armed Forces Seek to Weaponize Jinxing

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From the Merriam-Webster Dictionary: Jinx  noun ˈjiŋ(k)s : one that brings bad luck also : the state or spell of bad luck brought on by a jinx verb jinxed; jinxing; jinxes transitive verb : to foredoom to...

Alberta human rights commission investigates the use of ‘Engineer Storage’ rooms

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CALGARY, Alberta – Alberta’s human rights commission has opened independent investigations into 7 recent alleged violations involving 2 major Canadian-based hotel chains across the...

RCMP Raids Alleged Calgary Diploma Mill

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CALGARY, Alberta – The Royal Canadian Mounted Police launched a raid yesterday on the office of Diplomas “Я” Us in downtown Calgary.  It is...

Alberta Gas Producers announce proposal to move LNG to the EU

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CALGARY, Alberta - Breaking news this morning as a group of Calgary-based oil and gas companies announce details of a viable business plan to...

Things You Will Never Hear Said Out Loud

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Gentle Readers:  This is Sir William Shortspeare returning from a lengthy layoff from writing for 2P News and indeed from most aspects of life. ...

Calgary-based Morning Wood Resources stock price is up amid stiff competition

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EDMONTON, Alberta - Morning Wood Resources (TSX: MWR) posted the chubbiest quarterly adjusted profit of any listed company on the TSX driven very high...

Interview of TexxonMogul CEO Max Avarice

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NEW YORK CITY, New York - Ms. Brahliss: Thank you for joining us this evening, Mr. Avarice. I trust the lighting for the cameras isn’t too...

Sasquatch sighting near drilling rig in British Columbia

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FT NELSON, British Columbia - As the winter drilling season approaches, there are more and more bits turning rocks into dollars in northern British...

Company cuts core along entire HZ leg of well to confirm in-zone drilling

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FORT NELSON, British Columbia - Share price plummeted this week for junior oil and gas operator Short Run Energy, as news of an experimental...

PNG golf tournament delayed when geologist stumbles upon rocks

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CALGARY, Alberta - Play stopped yesterday at the Sphincter Ridge golf course in northeast Calgary.  The Petroleum Exploration & Explanation Association hosts its golf...

Pegmatites Declared Noxious Rocks

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CALGARY, Alberta - In a surprise move during a press conference at the annual convention of the International Society of Geological Trivia (ISGT) in Calgary,...

Magnetic Monopoles Uncover Hidden Geologic Structures

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EAST MAGNETIC POLE, Poland – Every middle school science class includes experiments with bar magnets.  No matter how many times a bar magnet is...

Panriver Petroleum to Employ up to 1200 Geologists

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CALGARY, Alberta - As of November 1st, 2021 a new exploration program developed by Panriver Petroleum Ltd has been approved by the AER, and...

The world’s largest crayon maker is being sued by geologists, here’s why

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CALGARY, Alberta - The head of the Canadian Association of Petroleum Geologists has filed a complaint in the consumer court against one of the...

Casket Wars Canada reality TV show sweeping the nation

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CALGARY, Alberta - From the network that brought you Storage Wars and 27 & Counting, B&E's brand new reality TV show, Casket Wars Canada,...

Area geologist undertakes huge mapping project

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ROCKY MOUNTAIN HOUSE, Alberta - Airplane hangars.  They are not typically associated with oil and gas other than they are sometimes strategically placed near...

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Houston area man drills well in backyard, charges laid

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HOUSTON, Texas - A Sugar Land, TX man and his neighbour are in police custody after the duo drilled an unauthorized gas well in the backyard of one of the men in search of...

Geologist assaulted for teasing MWD staff

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CALGARY, Alberta - A senior wellsite geologist has been hospitalized after a violent incident on a drilling rig in northern Alberta last night. Ricky Rockerson was violently beaten to within an inch of his life...

Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons

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CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the patterns required in CandyCrush and Tetris to oil and gas plays, has designed a new set of specialty geology crayons...

Crustal drilling project results in Volcano near Didsbury

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RED DEER, Alberta - Central Alberta was thrust into chaos this morning when a deep test well may have instigated the first active volcano in Alberta's history.  Deep Thrust Energy, a conglomerate of consolidated...

Andy Killinger Kidnapped! Police Clueless!

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CALGARY, Alberta – Andy Killinger, 2P News Staff Counselor, has been kidnapped by a group of what may be international terrorists.  The kidnapping occurred...

Climate Change Shocker! Canada Shrinking!

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CALGARY, Alberta – The surface area of Canada has long been reported to be 9,984,670 square kilometers.  However, the Canadian Geodetic Survey (CGS) is...

People's Choice Articles

Scientists invent a process to convert formation water into light oil

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CALGARY, Alberta - In a remarkable scientific breakthrough, 2 scientists from the research labs at...

GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making

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CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been...

Geologist finds a strong best fit through an amorphous cloud on poro-perm plot

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CALGARY, Alberta - There is no question that geology is a subjective science that is...

No pipelines, no trains, just Ass

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HARDISTY, Alberta - Pipelines leak.  Got it.  Trains derail.  Got it.  So what is the...

Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons

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CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the...

HR department develops online survey to assess effectiveness of online surveys

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CALGARY, Alberta - The Human Resources department of an intermediate oil and gas producer headquartered...

Former oil company executive relegated to greeter

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CALGARY, Alberta -The ever growing price differential for bitumen continues to squeeze the netbacks for...

Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map

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HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool...

Aliens vs. Geophysicists – Vibratory Revenge: Movie Review

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The Bottom Line This geophyical, sci-fi revenge fantasy thriller fails to deliver on all fronts. Director-Screenwriter Francis Birch Cast Brad...

Anne Hydrite and Ray Tracing – A love story

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Anne Hydrite first laid eyes on Ray Tracing at an oil and gas convention in...

Back in the Day

Engineers. Love ’em or hate ’em, you likely gotta deal with...

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Engineers. If you live in Calgary, there is a good chance you are an engineer, you are married to an engineer, you work with...

Engineer rearranges contents of dishwasher to optimize dirty dish density

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CALGARY, Alberta - After seeing his visiting mother-in-law load the dishwasher following a rather large Sunday afternoon family dinner, Anton McKnight, a Petrophysical Engineer...

Production tech goes for coffee on the way back from going...

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CALGARY, Alberta - On his way back from a 45 minute morning coffee run with 3 of his production engineering colleagues at Subterra Resources...

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