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Geology/Geophysics

Study: Rectilinear contouring eliminates need for geologists

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CALGARY, Alberta - Calgary-based Bendovus Energy recently fired all of its geologists when a task force of engineers undertook an informal study that proved...

Laptop Computer Modified for Geologists

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LOS ANGELES, California - Silicon Magic Inc. (SMI) of Palo Mino, California announced a line of specialty laptop computers designed especially for earth scientists....

The Association of Canadian Exploration Geoscientists scales down 2019 Technical Conference

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CALGARY, Alberta - The Association of Canadian Exploration Geoscientists (ACEG) has formally announced that it will scale down its spring 2019 Technical Convention and...

Toyota creates Prius Geologist Edition, can’t keep them in stock

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TOYOTA CITY, Japan - The Toyota Motor Corporation announced today that it has released a special Prius Geologist Edition to the North American market,...

BREAKING NEWS: Geophysicist Bre-X’d after 3 dry wells

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CALGARY, Alberta - Breaking news this Monday morning here in Oil City.  A tragic death over the weekend has now been reclassified from an...

NDP to offer Canadian geologists full pension to retire

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OTTAWA, Ontario - Early this morning, at a small video press conference with Premier Notley, the federal and Alberta provincial leaders were proposing ideas on...

Geophysicist develops 6th sense for discovering PNG deposits

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ESTEVAN, Saskatchewan - Back in the early history of the PNG industry, oil was literally found by stumbling upon seeps of oil that made...

Geophrenologist Claims Ability to Locate Oil and Gas

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LOONEYTUNE, California - The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines phrenology as the study of the conformation of the skull based on the belief that it is...

Last Two Palynologists Die, Species Declared Extinct

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TULSA, Oklahoma - Palynology, the study of contemporary and fossil palynomorphs, including pollen, spores, orbicules, dinocysts, acritarchs, chitinozoans and scolecodonts  (whatever the hell all...

Nuclear-Powered Brassiere Explodes During Seismic Survey

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CALGARY, Alberta - Details of a horrible accident that occurred during a seismic survey in the Canadian Rockies near Banff came to light this...

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2P News Staff

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Most Commented

Dear Andy

Dear Annie, I’m surrounded by idiots at work, what can I...

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Dear Annie: My name is Candi.  I am an engineer working for a design and integrity firm in Calgary. I work with a large number...

Environment

Notley Government: We don’t need pipelines, OIL FLOATS!

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New petroleum transport mechanism will revolutionize the midstream industry. Concept has special interest eco-terrorists group members quaking in their hemp-laced Birkenstocks. EDMONTON, Alberta -...

People's Choice Articles

Scientists invent a process to convert formation water into light oil

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CALGARY, Alberta - In a remarkable scientific breakthrough, 2 scientists from the research labs at...

GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making

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CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been...

Geologist finds a strong best fit through an amorphous cloud on poro-perm plot

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CALGARY, Alberta - There is no question that geology is a subjective science that is...

No pipelines, no trains, just Ass

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HARDISTY, Alberta - Pipelines leak.  Got it.  Trains derail.  Got it.  So what is the...

Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons

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CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the...

HR department develops online survey to assess effectiveness of online surveys

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CALGARY, Alberta - The Human Resources department of an intermediate oil and gas producer headquartered...

Former oil company executive relegated to greeter

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CALGARY, Alberta -The ever growing price differential for bitumen continues to squeeze the netbacks for...

Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map

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HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool...

Aliens vs. Geophysicists – Vibratory Revenge: Movie Review

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The Bottom Line This geophyical, sci-fi revenge fantasy thriller fails to deliver on all fronts. Director-Screenwriter Francis Birch Cast Brad...

Anne Hydrite and Ray Tracing – A love story

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Anne Hydrite first laid eyes on Ray Tracing at an oil and gas convention in...

Back in the Day

Engineers. Love ’em or hate ’em, you likely gotta deal with...

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Engineers. If you live in Calgary, there is a good chance you are an engineer, you are married to an engineer, you work with...

Engineer rearranges contents of dishwasher to optimize dirty dish density

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CALGARY, Alberta - After seeing his visiting mother-in-law load the dishwasher following a rather large Sunday afternoon family dinner, Anton McKnight, a Petrophysical Engineer...

Production tech goes for coffee on the way back from going...

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CALGARY, Alberta - On his way back from a 45 minute morning coffee run with 3 of his production engineering colleagues at Subterra Resources...

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