Alberta’s Project Dawn Discovery aims to help identify and reduce methane leaks
CALGARY, Alberta - Project Dawn Discovery, the unofficial nickname for a new Alberta energy and sustainability initiative created in conjunction with its energy regulatory arm, the Alberta Oil and Gas Regulator (AOGR), is about to get underway. Following a three-month study and feasibility review, the project has been finalized and approved. The project, Dawn Discovery, relies on a simple chemical engineering premise: Dawn dish soap will bubble in contact with gaseous leaks, akin to checking automotive or bicycle tires...
Zombie Wells: The Partisan Plague of Trinity Bay – Movie Review
"At its best/worst, 'Zombie Wells' hallucinatory idiocy inspires open-mouthed horror at what happens when an ill-conceived premise leads to an even more jaw-droppingly misguided execution." - Bruce Bayerson, Trinity Bay Journal
"The kid in front of me at the theatre spent most of the movie playing Tetris on his phone. I didn't care enough about the movie to ask him to stop or find a cooler game to play." - Reece Rhyder, The Houston Times
The Bottom Line
A bone-chilling thriller that...
Engineer comes “out of the cooler,” shocks friends and wider oil and gas community
CALGARY, Alberta – In a revelation that has rocked Alberta’s oil patch more than a 17,874,232,981,842.6 nanolitre pipeline spill, longtime senior reservoir engineer Lou Zarr bravely confessed this week to something he’s kept hidden for over 20 years: He doesn’t like beer.
“I just couldn’t live the lie anymore,” Zarr said, tears welling up in his eyes as he stood in front of his coworkers at the bar after their regular Friday shift. The 52-year-old, who has spent two decades...
Saskatoon-based FizzBang H20 shakes up the energy industry
RED DEER, Alberta – In a shocking twist that has left the Canadian energy sector fizzing with excitement, Regina-based beverage titan FizzBang H2O announced today that it has acquired a majority share in DeepThrust Energy's flagship carbon capture and storage (CCS) project in Saskatchewan. The fizzy drink behemoth, best known for its effervescent water and "explosive" flavours, says the move is part of its long-term strategy to produce "naturally carbonated" drinks from the very reservoirs that were supposed to...
The profession that is most important to the success of the Oil and Gas industry across western Canada is:
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Open-pit oil and gas mining coming to Alberta by 2025 Q1
OTTAWA, Ontario – The Canadian oil and gas industry is notorious for its complex and costly techniques, requiring a PhD to understand and an even bigger wallet to execute....
Engineers outraged as Federal Government passes Bill C-420
OTTAWA, Ontario - In a move that has left the engineering community speechless (quite literally), the Canadian government has passed the controversial "Word Quota" bill, limiting engineers to a...
City of Calgary Implements Stringent Water Restrictions as Feeder Water Main Continues to Surprise Engineers
CALGARY, Alberta, August 26, 2024 — In a shocking but perhaps no longer surprising twist, City of Calgary officials, under direction from leader Jyoki Gonyet, have announced a new...
Rumours of Vice President Harris to be courting the most unexpected running mate materialize
SAN FRANCISCO, California - In an unprecedented move that has left political analysts scratching their heads and comedians rubbing their hands in glee, Vice President Kamala Harris announced today...
Top Ten Must Try Foods and Drinks at the 2024 Stampede of Calgary
CALGARY, Alberta - Every year the Stampede of Calgary draws visitors from all over the world. And every year there are new refreshments and snacks created to represent everything...
Calgary-startup has solution to the abandoned wells problem; Alberta’s oil and gas regulator is all ears
In Alberta, there are roughly 237,000 drilled wells that need to be abandoned and their leases remediated and reclaimed. About 80,000 of these wells are currently non-producing (referred to...
Babetex Energy downgraded to Sosotex Energy after poor Stampede week results
Babetex Energy downgraded despite strong Q3 results and increased production guidance.
Aesthetics Factor metric for both men and women down by an average of 3 points, year-over-year.
TORONTO, Ontario...
Bendovus Energy sponsors talent show and beer fest
WEYBURN, Saskatchewan - Calgary-based Bendovus Energy announced today that it has committed to co-sponsoring the annual Western Canada Oil and Gas Talent Show and Beer Fest. Bendovus joins Moosepeace...
BREAKING NEWS: Geophysicist Bre-X’d after 3 dry wells
CALGARY, Alberta - Breaking news this Monday morning here in Oil City. A tragic death over the weekend has now been reclassified from an accident to a potential hate-related homicide.
Tom Echoman, a geophysicist with Gravitywerks Resources, fell to his death Sunday evening at the...
EndGame Energy eyes a magmatic geothermal play
HOUSTON, Texas - A collaboration between several oil and gas giants in Houston has given rise to EndGame Energy. The fresh company has a very novel and interesting take on the world of geothermal energy, with plans to create a deep earth magmatic pumping...
Area geologist undertakes huge mapping project
ROCKY MOUNTAIN HOUSE, Alberta - Airplane hangars. They are not typically associated with oil and gas other than they are sometimes strategically placed near remote oilfields and work camps for shuttling employees and contractors. But an exploration company building 4 of its own within...
Geology-inspired Phi-K Doughnuts coming to downtown Calgary this spring
CALGARY, Alberta - Calgary is the hotbed for doughnut shops ranging from the basics at Tim Hortons all the way up to the 2nd-tier units that you can grab at Contemporary Jelly Doughnuts and the new Hula Hoop offerings from the makers of Fill...
Geologist Discovers What “The Gostak Distims the Doshes” Means
BREA, California - In 1923 C. K. Ogden and I. A. Richards wrote a book called The Meaning of Meaning. In it was a story about a man who travels to a distant, unfamiliar place and repeatedly hears the inhabitants use the phrase “the...
Elephant Hired as Exploration Geologist
HOUSTON, Texas – TexxonMogul announced today that it has hired its first pachyderm petroleum geologist. The Indian elephant, who hails from Mumbai and goes by the name Alice, replaces the entire staff of exploration geologists in the Houston office. A special area on the...
Last Two Palynologists Die, Species Declared Extinct
TULSA, Oklahoma - Palynology, the study of contemporary and fossil palynomorphs, including pollen, spores, orbicules, dinocysts, acritarchs, chitinozoans and scolecodonts (whatever the hell all those things are) has always been the red-headed stepchild of paleontology in the oil and gas industry.
Now, the World Organization...
Unemployed Petroleum Professionals Technical Conference coming to Calgary this summer!
CALGARY, Alberta - The Canadian Society of Unemployed Petroleum Professionals (CSUPP) is hosting its inaugural Technical Conference & Exhibition this summer. The society, whose membership has steadily grown by upwards of 1,247 per cent per year since early 2015, believes that this is an...
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2P News Staff
Most Commented
Houston area man drills well in backyard, charges laid
HOUSTON, Texas - A Sugar Land, TX man and his neighbour are in police custody after the duo drilled an unauthorized gas well in the backyard of one of...
Geologist assaulted for teasing MWD staff
CALGARY, Alberta - A senior wellsite geologist has been hospitalized after a violent incident on a drilling rig in northern Alberta last night.
Ricky Rockerson was violently beaten to within...
Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons
CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the patterns required in CandyCrush and Tetris to oil and gas plays, has designed a new...
Crustal drilling project results in Volcano near Didsbury
RED DEER, Alberta - Central Alberta was thrust into chaos this morning when a deep test well may have instigated the first active volcano in Alberta's history. Deep Thrust...
Dear Andy: My wife left me, I’m lonely, and looking for some massage parlour tips
Dear Andy,
The old lady kicked me out of the house a couple of months ago and I’m feeling a bit tense, if you know what I mean. I’d like to try a massage parlour but I have no idea how to go about it. Can you give me some...
Notley Government: We don’t need pipelines, OIL FLOATS!
New petroleum transport mechanism will revolutionize the midstream industry.
Concept has special interest eco-terrorists group members quaking in their hemp-laced Birkenstocks.
EDMONTON, Alberta - Trans American Global Pipeline LLC...
Scientists invent a process to convert formation water into light oil
CALGARY, Alberta - In a remarkable scientific breakthrough, 2 scientists from the research labs at...
GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making
CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been...
Geologist finds a strong best fit through an amorphous cloud on poro-perm plot
CALGARY, Alberta - There is no question that geology is a subjective science that is...
No pipelines, no trains, just Ass
HARDISTY, Alberta - Pipelines leak. Got it. Trains derail. Got it. So what is the...
Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons
CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the...
HR department develops online survey to assess effectiveness of online surveys
CALGARY, Alberta - The Human Resources department of an intermediate oil and gas producer headquartered...
Former oil company executive relegated to greeter
CALGARY, Alberta -The ever growing price differential for bitumen continues to squeeze the netbacks for...
Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map
HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool...
Aliens vs. Geophysicists – Vibratory Revenge: Movie Review
The Bottom Line
This geophyical, sci-fi revenge fantasy thriller fails to deliver on all fronts.
Director-Screenwriter
Francis Birch
Cast
Brad...
Anne Hydrite and Ray Tracing – A love story
Anne Hydrite first laid eyes on Ray Tracing at an oil and gas convention in...
Back in the Day
Engineers. Love ’em or hate ’em, you likely gotta deal with ’em.
Engineers. If you live in Calgary, there is a good chance you are an engineer, you are married to an engineer, you work with an engineer, you know an engineer, you’ve spotted an engineer, you’ve heard of an engineer, or you’ve thought about murdering an engineer in cold blood...
Engineer rearranges contents of dishwasher to optimize dirty dish density
CALGARY, Alberta - After seeing his visiting mother-in-law load the dishwasher following a rather large Sunday afternoon family dinner, Anton McKnight, a Petrophysical Engineer with a Calgary-based consulting firm, took it upon himself to rearrange the contents of the dishwasher right beneath his MIL's nose.
So get this, she had...
Production tech goes for coffee on the way back from going for coffee
CALGARY, Alberta - On his way back from a 45 minute morning coffee run with 3 of his production engineering colleagues at Subterra Resources (using his favourite coffee cups), Peter Chekovski bumped into his regular coffee pals, who encouraged him to go for coffee again.
Well, I typically don't go...
