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Scientists discover the flattest, squarest surface on the planet

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ITHACA, New York - Every good piece of science needs a datum, a place from which to start measuring. As you read this, NASA's...

Technical/Operations

2P News to Purchase Edmonton Newspaper

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CALGARY, Alberta - 2P News founders and co-publishers Dr. Darcy Flowman and Mr. Antoine McGuilicuddy announce that they are in final negotiations to purchase...

Dear Andy – Revenge is a Dish Best Served Cold

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Dear Andy, I recently got laid off again and I’m so pissed I can’t see straight.  The cretin who fired me did it with a...

Government

Lifestyle

Geology/Geophysics

Porosity exchange theory gaining traction with geologists

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CALGARY, Alberta - A group of scientifical geologists with the Canadian Geofantasy Network are postulating a theory that is starting to gain traction within...

Geologists make startling discovery, CBC outraged with denial

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CALGARY, Alberta - There is a universal question that most people ask when they meet a geologist. What can you tell me about dinosaurs?...

Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons

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CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the patterns required in CandyCrush and Tetris to oil and...

Geologist-in-Training launches wrongful dismissal suit

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CALGARY, Alberta - Zeerana Astransy graduated with honors from the University of Alberta in 2012, and quickly made a move to a development role...

GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making

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CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been able to find rather strong correlations between various sexual...

Oil and gas companies to reduce geology staffing costs in 2020 with new “Drill...

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CALGARY, Alberta – The oil and gas industry’s technological innovation over the last 150 years is truly astonishing, which his why its lackadaisical adoption...

Last Two Palynologists Die, Species Declared Extinct

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TULSA, Oklahoma - Palynology, the study of contemporary and fossil palynomorphs, including pollen, spores, orbicules, dinocysts, acritarchs, chitinozoans and scolecodonts  (whatever the hell all...

70s Geologist, Debbil Maysong, wants his pencils back

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CALGARY, Alberta - Gates, Jobs, Page, Brin, and Zuckerberg. These people are a quick list of huge success at the hands of computer tech...

Geologists form independent professional association

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CALGARY, Alberta - A group of 13 geologists in Alberta's largest city have made a stand against the ranks of TCEGWC (or The Collective...

Problem geologists need help: WOOPS

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EDMONTON, Alberta - In response to the sorry state of affairs in the profession of petroleum geology, the World Organization of Petroleum Societies (WOOPS)...

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2P News Staff

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Most Commented

Dear Andy

Dear Annie: I think I have COVID but I can’t get...

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Dear Annie: "My name is Mildred. I recently hosted a 2-day swingers bender in my Langdon, Alberta apartment and I’m pretty sure I have COVID....

Environment

Hollimorton Continues Acquisition Binge Despite Downturn

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HOUSTON, Texas - Close on the heels of its pending US$34.6 billion acquisition of oil field services rival Fakit Huge Inc., Hollimorton Company today...

People's Choice Articles

Scientists invent a process to convert formation water into light oil

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CALGARY, Alberta - In a remarkable scientific breakthrough, 2 scientists from the research labs at...

GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making

1
CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been...

Geologist finds a strong best fit through an amorphous cloud on poro-perm plot

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CALGARY, Alberta - There is no question that geology is a subjective science that is...

No pipelines, no trains, just Ass

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HARDISTY, Alberta - Pipelines leak.  Got it.  Trains derail.  Got it.  So what is the...

Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons

33
CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the...

HR department develops online survey to assess effectiveness of online surveys

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CALGARY, Alberta - The Human Resources department of an intermediate oil and gas producer headquartered...

Former oil company executive relegated to greeter

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CALGARY, Alberta -The ever growing price differential for bitumen continues to squeeze the netbacks for...

Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map

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HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool...

Aliens vs. Geophysicists – Vibratory Revenge: Movie Review

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The Bottom Line This geophyical, sci-fi revenge fantasy thriller fails to deliver on all fronts. Director-Screenwriter Francis Birch Cast Brad...

Anne Hydrite and Ray Tracing – A love story

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Anne Hydrite first laid eyes on Ray Tracing at an oil and gas convention in...

Back in the Day

Engineers. Love ’em or hate ’em, you likely gotta deal with...

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Engineers. If you live in Calgary, there is a good chance you are an engineer, you are married to an engineer, you work with...

Engineer rearranges contents of dishwasher to optimize dirty dish density

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CALGARY, Alberta - After seeing his visiting mother-in-law load the dishwasher following a rather large Sunday afternoon family dinner, Anton McKnight, a Petrophysical Engineer...

Production tech goes for coffee on the way back from going...

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CALGARY, Alberta - On his way back from a 45 minute morning coffee run with 3 of his production engineering colleagues at Subterra Resources...

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