Top 12 Oil and Gas Rumours Abound for 2025
CALGARY, Alberta - As 2025 nears, Western Canada’s oil and gas sector is buzzing with wild rumours. From “eco-friendly fracking” using tofu-based lubricants to Alberta towns converting Timbits into biodiesel, the industry’s gossip is in full swing. Some claim the government plans to tax carbon by "Twitter outrage," while others whisper about replacing oil sands trucks with electric horse-drawn carriages. Here is a list of our in-depth analysis of the top 12 rumours shaping the oil and gas narrative...
Next Millenia Energy looking to wow investors with long-range development plans
CALGARY, Alberta - Saskatoon-based Next Millenia Energy Inc. (TSX: NME) has recently acquired surface rights in 87 townships in the WCSB, planning a very unique oil and gas play. In anticipation of future oil and gas pool and trap development, NME is going to place downhole equipment on risers and scaffolding, on site. In 60 to 75 million years, NME hopes to produce from these sites which are then believed to be buried and filled with productive oil reservoir...
Alberta’s Project Dawn Discovery aims to help identify and reduce methane leaks
CALGARY, Alberta - Project Dawn Discovery, the unofficial nickname for a new Alberta energy and sustainability initiative created in conjunction with its energy regulatory arm, the Alberta Oil and Gas Regulator (AOGR), is about to get underway. Following a three-month study and feasibility review, the project has been finalized and approved. The project, Dawn Discovery, relies on a simple chemical engineering premise: Dawn dish soap will bubble in contact with gaseous leaks, akin to checking automotive or bicycle tires...
Zombie Wells: The Partisan Plague of Trinity Bay – Movie Review
"At its best/worst, 'Zombie Wells' hallucinatory idiocy inspires open-mouthed horror at what happens when an ill-conceived premise leads to an even more jaw-droppingly misguided execution." - Bruce Bayerson, Trinity Bay Journal
"The kid in front of me at the theatre spent most of the movie playing Tetris on his phone. I didn't care enough about the movie to ask him to stop or find a cooler game to play." - Reece Rhyder, The Houston Times
The Bottom Line
A bone-chilling thriller that...
The profession that is most important to the success of the Oil and Gas industry across western Canada is:
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Engineer comes “out of the cooler,” shocks friends and wider oil and gas community
CALGARY, Alberta – In a revelation that has rocked Alberta’s oil patch more than a 17,874,232,981,842.6 nanolitre pipeline spill, longtime senior reservoir engineer Lou Zarr bravely confessed this week...
Saskatoon-based FizzBang H20 shakes up the energy industry
RED DEER, Alberta – In a shocking twist that has left the Canadian energy sector fizzing with excitement, Regina-based beverage titan FizzBang H2O announced today that it has acquired...
Open-pit oil and gas mining coming to Alberta by 2025 Q1
OTTAWA, Ontario – The Canadian oil and gas industry is notorious for its complex and costly techniques, requiring a PhD to understand and an even bigger wallet to execute....
Engineers outraged as Federal Government passes Bill C-420
OTTAWA, Ontario - In a move that has left the engineering community speechless (quite literally), the Canadian government has passed the controversial "Word Quota" bill, limiting engineers to a...
City of Calgary Implements Stringent Water Restrictions as Feeder Water Main Continues to Surprise Engineers
CALGARY, Alberta, August 26, 2024 — In a shocking but perhaps no longer surprising twist, City of Calgary officials, under direction from leader Jyoki Gonyet, have announced a new...
Rumours of Vice President Harris to be courting the most unexpected running mate materialize
SAN FRANCISCO, California - In an unprecedented move that has left political analysts scratching their heads and comedians rubbing their hands in glee, Vice President Kamala Harris announced today...
Tree Squids Attack California Oil Industry
BREA, California - California has been the epicenter of a number of invasive species catastrophically affecting native plants and animals. Now, the Gobi tree squid (Loligo vulgaris democraticus) has...
peopleMINUS minusing people strikes a Chord with Calgary staff
CALGARY, Alberta - peopleMINUS Corporation says that being acquired by Houston-based Chordy Energy is responsible for the decision to close its longstanding office in downtown Calgary and relocate no...
Geologist finds a strong best fit through an amorphous cloud on poro-perm plot
CALGARY, Alberta - There is no question that geology is a subjective science that is open to interpretation. But every now and again, a geology professional takes liberties with this interpretation that can end up being very costly. This article reports a case to that...
Calgary-based E&P Start-Up to Explore in the Rockies
CALGARY, Alberta – Everyone knows the iconic Three Sisters mountains west of the city of Calgary, but what some don’t know is the hollow mountain theory.
Frank Tymune and George Kasamist have been proposing the theory that the Three Sisters are indeed hollow, or at...
Geologists make startling discovery, CBC outraged with denial
CALGARY, Alberta - There is a universal question that most people ask when they meet a geologist. What can you tell me about dinosaurs? Although that question is specifically pale-ontological, geologists are still expected to answer it.
A group of geologists with a fair understanding...
NDP to offer Canadian geologists full pension to retire
OTTAWA, Ontario - Early this morning, at a small video press conference with Premier Notley, the federal and Alberta provincial leaders were proposing ideas on how to get their way with oil and gas, the oilsands, and pipelines. One such idea seemed to get the...
GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making
CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been able to find rather strong correlations between various sexual positions and seismic signatures using little more than an application for his smartphone, his girlfriend, and some software at work.
So I...
Fat geologists perform better than thin geologists: Study
CALGARY, Alberta - In a landmark 20-year study, the Canadian Institute of Corpulence in Rotund, Manitoba revealed that well-upholstered geologists performed their tasks marginally better than underweight ones, after making statistical corrections for age, experience and IQ.
The lead consulting researcher for the study, the...
Laptop Computer Modified for Geologists
LOS ANGELES, California - Silicon Magic Inc. (SMI) of Palo Mino, California announced a line of specialty laptop computers designed especially for earth scientists. It is the first of what may become a series of computers modified for the needs of specific professions. Mr....
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Most Commented
Houston area man drills well in backyard, charges laid
HOUSTON, Texas - A Sugar Land, TX man and his neighbour are in police custody after the duo drilled an unauthorized gas well in the backyard of one of...
Geologist assaulted for teasing MWD staff
CALGARY, Alberta - A senior wellsite geologist has been hospitalized after a violent incident on a drilling rig in northern Alberta last night.
Ricky Rockerson was violently beaten to within...
Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons
CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the patterns required in CandyCrush and Tetris to oil and gas plays, has designed a new...
Crustal drilling project results in Volcano near Didsbury
RED DEER, Alberta - Central Alberta was thrust into chaos this morning when a deep test well may have instigated the first active volcano in Alberta's history. Deep Thrust...
Dear Andy: I don’t know how to talk to girls
Dear Andy,
I’m a 30-ish single engineer in Calgary who by some miracle is still employed. Like every other engineer I have a hard time talking to women, especially now that they’re all so combative. With your experience I bet you have some good replies to the crap that gets...
Edkarma sues AER and the Province over leaky overburden in Peabody, Alberta
EDMONTON, Alberta - In an oil and gas industry twist that can only be described as shocking, Edkarma Energy is suing the Province of Alberta and the AER for...
Scientists invent a process to convert formation water into light oil
CALGARY, Alberta - In a remarkable scientific breakthrough, 2 scientists from the research labs at...
GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making
CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been...
Geologist finds a strong best fit through an amorphous cloud on poro-perm plot
CALGARY, Alberta - There is no question that geology is a subjective science that is...
No pipelines, no trains, just Ass
HARDISTY, Alberta - Pipelines leak. Got it. Trains derail. Got it. So what is the...
Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons
CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the...
HR department develops online survey to assess effectiveness of online surveys
CALGARY, Alberta - The Human Resources department of an intermediate oil and gas producer headquartered...
Former oil company executive relegated to greeter
CALGARY, Alberta -The ever growing price differential for bitumen continues to squeeze the netbacks for...
Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map
HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool...
Aliens vs. Geophysicists – Vibratory Revenge: Movie Review
The Bottom Line
This geophyical, sci-fi revenge fantasy thriller fails to deliver on all fronts.
Director-Screenwriter
Francis Birch
Cast
Brad...
Anne Hydrite and Ray Tracing – A love story
Anne Hydrite first laid eyes on Ray Tracing at an oil and gas convention in...
Back in the Day
Engineers. Love ’em or hate ’em, you likely gotta deal with ’em.
Engineers. If you live in Calgary, there is a good chance you are an engineer, you are married to an engineer, you work with an engineer, you know an engineer, you’ve spotted an engineer, you’ve heard of an engineer, or you’ve thought about murdering an engineer in cold blood...
Engineer rearranges contents of dishwasher to optimize dirty dish density
CALGARY, Alberta - After seeing his visiting mother-in-law load the dishwasher following a rather large Sunday afternoon family dinner, Anton McKnight, a Petrophysical Engineer with a Calgary-based consulting firm, took it upon himself to rearrange the contents of the dishwasher right beneath his MIL's nose.
So get this, she had...
Production tech goes for coffee on the way back from going for coffee
CALGARY, Alberta - On his way back from a 45 minute morning coffee run with 3 of his production engineering colleagues at Subterra Resources (using his favourite coffee cups), Peter Chekovski bumped into his regular coffee pals, who encouraged him to go for coffee again.
Well, I typically don't go...
