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Recent News

Calgary Mayor Gonyet attempts to cancel Stampede just before parade

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CALGARY, Alberta - Calgary Mayor Joki Gonyet's proposal to cancel the Calgary City Stampede just before the popular parade through downtown Calgary was overturned...

Technical/Operations

Neil Young secretly plans hostile oilsands takeover

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EDMONTON, Alberta - Neil Young has made headlines around the world in recent days, bad mouthing the Alberta oil sands, slagging the people it...

Quagmire Energy reveals perpetual flush production optimization strategy

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WEYBURN, Saskatchewan - Stock price for Quagmire Energy surged after news of the Regina-based company's new production optimization strategy hit the streets. The company is...

Government

Lifestyle

Geology/Geophysics

Unemployed Petroleum Professionals Technical Conference coming to Calgary this summer!

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CALGARY, Alberta - The Canadian Society of Unemployed Petroleum Professionals (CSUPP) is hosting its inaugural Technical Conference & Exhibition this summer. The society, whose...

Weekend party could cost Calgary-area geologist and friends more than $240,000

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CALGARY, Alberta - A weekend party could cost a Calgary-area geologist and roughly 150 of her friends more than $240,000 after police laid charges...

Scientists mathematically prove that geologists are absolute idiots

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GENEVA, Switzerland - Scientists at the Fribourg University of Cardinal Knowledge have just proven that geologists (and all other geo"scientists") are complete idiots. This...

The Association of Canadian Exploration Geoscientists scales down 2019 Technical Conference

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CALGARY, Alberta - The Association of Canadian Exploration Geoscientists (ACEG) has formally announced that it will scale down its spring 2019 Technical Convention and...

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Most Commented

Dear Andy

Dear Andy: What do I say to my smartass children?

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Dear Andy, I really liked your advice on what to say to combative women in a recent column.    I have a similar situation.  My...

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Environment

Enviro groups lobby for subsurface well reclamation requirements

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CALGARY, Alberta - Reclaiming abandoned wells is common practice throughout the oil and gas industry world wide. Operators are typically mandated by a regulatory...

People's Choice Articles

Scientists invent a process to convert formation water into light oil

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CALGARY, Alberta - In a remarkable scientific breakthrough, 2 scientists from the research labs at...

GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making

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CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been...

Geologist finds a strong best fit through an amorphous cloud on poro-perm plot

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CALGARY, Alberta - There is no question that geology is a subjective science that is...

No pipelines, no trains, just Ass

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HARDISTY, Alberta - Pipelines leak.  Got it.  Trains derail.  Got it.  So what is the...

Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons

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CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the...

HR department develops online survey to assess effectiveness of online surveys

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CALGARY, Alberta - The Human Resources department of an intermediate oil and gas producer headquartered...

Former oil company executive relegated to greeter

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CALGARY, Alberta -The ever growing price differential for bitumen continues to squeeze the netbacks for...

Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map

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HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool...

Aliens vs. Geophysicists – Vibratory Revenge: Movie Review

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The Bottom Line This geophyical, sci-fi revenge fantasy thriller fails to deliver on all fronts. Director-Screenwriter Francis Birch Cast Brad...

Anne Hydrite and Ray Tracing – A love story

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Anne Hydrite first laid eyes on Ray Tracing at an oil and gas convention in...

Back in the Day

Engineers. Love ’em or hate ’em, you likely gotta deal with...

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Engineers. If you live in Calgary, there is a good chance you are an engineer, you are married to an engineer, you work with...

Engineer rearranges contents of dishwasher to optimize dirty dish density

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CALGARY, Alberta - After seeing his visiting mother-in-law load the dishwasher following a rather large Sunday afternoon family dinner, Anton McKnight, a Petrophysical Engineer...

Production tech goes for coffee on the way back from going...

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CALGARY, Alberta - On his way back from a 45 minute morning coffee run with 3 of his production engineering colleagues at Subterra Resources...

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