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Recent News

Throwback Exploration introduces complacency reduction program

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CALGARY, Alberta - Throwback Exploration announced today that effective immediately it will transition away from conventional metric-centric performance measurement of its staff in its...

Top 10 PC-friendly terms coming to the oil and gas industry

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CALGARY, Alberta - Every day, it seems, someone else falls foul of the New Censors. They are accused of either offending the evangelists of...

Guest Opinion: Put your head down, do your work, and STFU.

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Mike Rotchburns, a former reservoir engineer, essayist, and cultural critic, is the author or the NW Calgary best-selling home-printed booklet "Please shut the fuck...

NDP: All pipelines in Alberta to be removed and recycled if...

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EDMONTON, Alberta - As some of our loyal readers may recall, 2P News reported back on November 28th, 2018 that Alberta's Notley NDP government...

Glacier Oil Co. Moving Forward with its Cold Earth Operations plan...

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CALGARY, Alberta - Climate change and dare we say Global Warming, have been at the forefront of mainstream media for many years.  While oil...

2P Relationship Tips: How to Date an Engineer

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CALGARY, Alberta - As an opinion columnist, I'd like to talk about the often overlooked world of dating engineers (editor's note: that's right -...

Liberals going back to basics to tackle projected $340B deficit

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OTTAWA, Ontario - The Canadian federal deficit is projected to surpass $340 billion this fiscal year, due in large part to massive economic aid...

Dear Andy: I don’t know how to talk to girls

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Dear Andy, I’m a 30-ish single engineer in Calgary who by some miracle is still employed.  Like every other engineer I have a hard time...

The Association of Canadian Exploration Geoscientists scales down 2019 Technical Conference

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CALGARY, Alberta - The Association of Canadian Exploration Geoscientists (ACEG) has formally announced that it will scale down its spring 2019 Technical Convention and...

Fat geologists perform better than thin geologists: Study

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CALGARY, Alberta - In a landmark 20-year study, the Canadian Institute of Corpulence in Rotund, Manitoba revealed that well-upholstered geologists performed their tasks marginally...

Geologists make startling discovery, CBC outraged with denial

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CALGARY, Alberta - There is a universal question that most people ask when they meet a geologist. What can you tell me about dinosaurs?...

PNG golf tournament delayed when geologist stumbles upon rocks

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CALGARY, Alberta - Play stopped yesterday at the Sphincter Ridge golf course in northeast Calgary.  The Petroleum Exploration & Explanation Association hosts its golf...

Breaking News! New seismic wave discovered

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CLEVELAND, Ohio - A group of scientists at the Earth Motion Laboratory in Shaker Heights, Ohio announced today the discovery of a new type...

Oil and gas companies to reduce geology staffing costs in 2020 with new “Drill...

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CALGARY, Alberta – The oil and gas industry’s technological innovation over the last 150 years is truly astonishing, which his why its lackadaisical adoption...

Geologist assaulted for teasing MWD staff

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CALGARY, Alberta - A senior wellsite geologist has been hospitalized after a violent incident on a drilling rig in northern Alberta last night. Ricky Rockerson...

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2P News Staff

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Houston area man drills well in backyard, charges laid

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HOUSTON, Texas - A Sugar Land, TX man and his neighbour are in police custody after the duo drilled an unauthorized gas well in the backyard of one of the men in search of...

Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons

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CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the patterns required in CandyCrush and Tetris to oil and gas plays, has designed a new set of specialty geology crayons...

Crustal drilling project results in Volcano near Didsbury

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RED DEER, Alberta - Central Alberta was thrust into chaos this morning when a deep test well may have instigated the first active volcano in Alberta's history.  Deep Thrust Energy, a conglomerate of consolidated...

Study: Global warming linked to Sun

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CALGARY, Alberta - A recent study conducted by a group of scientists assembled and funded by a consortium of major oil and gas producers has concluded that climate change and global warming are not...

Antoine interviews Andy Killinger about his overseas Coronavirus adventures

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Calgary, Alberta - In this special news piece, we decided to interview our in-house counsellor about his experiences overseas dating back to March, 2020,...

Forest Beetle mating habits disrupted by fracking, Saskatchewan calls for ban

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SASKATOON, Saskatchewan - The debate over fracking may soon be coming to Saskatchewan.  A recent study by the Ecological Sciences Department at the University...

People's Choice Articles

Scientists invent a process to convert formation water into light oil

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CALGARY, Alberta - In a remarkable scientific breakthrough, 2 scientists from the research labs at...

GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making

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CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been...

Geologist finds a strong best fit through an amorphous cloud on poro-perm plot

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CALGARY, Alberta - There is no question that geology is a subjective science that is...

No pipelines, no trains, just Ass

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HARDISTY, Alberta - Pipelines leak.  Got it.  Trains derail.  Got it.  So what is the...

Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons

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CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the...

HR department develops online survey to assess effectiveness of online surveys

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CALGARY, Alberta - The Human Resources department of an intermediate oil and gas producer headquartered...

Former oil company executive relegated to greeter

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CALGARY, Alberta -The ever growing price differential for bitumen continues to squeeze the netbacks for...

Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map

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HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool...

Aliens vs. Geophysicists – Vibratory Revenge: Movie Review

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The Bottom Line This geophyical, sci-fi revenge fantasy thriller fails to deliver on all fronts. Director-Screenwriter Francis Birch Cast Brad...

Anne Hydrite and Ray Tracing – A love story

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Anne Hydrite first laid eyes on Ray Tracing at an oil and gas convention in...

Back in the Day

Engineers. Love ’em or hate ’em, you likely gotta deal with...

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Engineers. If you live in Calgary, there is a good chance you are an engineer, you are married to an engineer, you work with...

Engineer rearranges contents of dishwasher to optimize dirty dish density

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CALGARY, Alberta - After seeing his visiting mother-in-law load the dishwasher following a rather large Sunday afternoon family dinner, Anton McKnight, a Petrophysical Engineer...

Production tech goes for coffee on the way back from going...

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CALGARY, Alberta - On his way back from a 45 minute morning coffee run with 3 of his production engineering colleagues at Subterra Resources...

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