EDMONTON, Alberta - As contract talks between the Alberta Teachers’ Association and the province hit the “we’ll-legislate-you-back” stage of negotiations, educators across the province are already preparing their battle plans. If Premier Danielle Smith's provincial government forces them back into classrooms, teachers say they’ll comply, but only in the most educationally passive-aggressive ways possible. Here are the Top Ten Things Alberta Teachers Plan to Do Once They’re Legislated Back to Work. 10. The Return of the TV/VCR Cart You thought they were gone....

GENEVA, Switzerland - In a groundbreaking study published this week in the Journal of Computational Nonsense, researchers at the Federal University of Klingnau's department of Spreadsheet Physics have finally uncovered the reason why anything copied into Microsoft Excel’s clipboard vanishes after precisely 4.20 picoseconds. According to lead scientist Dr. Kat Schrod, “The clipboard doesn’t actually delete your data — it merely ceases to exist within our observable universe. At that timescale, Excel transitions into a quantum mechanical superposition of ‘copied’...

Over 1,700 Calgary-area geologists join the Class Action suit The group cites advertising the event as a "rock show" was grossly misleading Lawyers seeking punitive compensation for wasted time and emotional damage 2 minute read (unless you're a geologist, then at least 20 minutes) CALGARY, Alberta - The Bryan Adams concert at the Scotiabank Saddledome last Friday was nearly derailed when dozens of Calgary-based geologists stormed the concourse under the impression that they were attending a technical “rock show.” According to...

Dear Andy, "I’m a 27-year-old petroleum geologist and I want out. The oilfield has drained me dry—literally. Every well I’ve touched in the last 3 years has been dustier than a stripper’s G-string at a Taber cowboy bar. I’m tired of being paid in company scrip (a.k.a. “Tim Hortons gift cards”) and explaining to my family that my job is basically expensive Connect-the-Dots on bullshit contour maps. I just can’t do it anymore. Where can I go? I’m still young,...

HOUSTON, Texas - A Sugar Land, TX man and his neighbour are in police custody after the duo drilled an unauthorized gas well in the backyard of one of...

CALGARY, Alberta - A senior wellsite geologist has been hospitalized after a violent incident on a drilling rig in northern Alberta last night. Ricky Rockerson was violently beaten to within...

RED DEER, Alberta - Central Alberta was thrust into chaos this morning when a deep test well may have instigated the first active volcano in Alberta's history.  Deep Thrust...

CALGARY, Alberta - A recent study conducted by a group of scientists assembled and funded by a consortium of major oil and gas producers has concluded that climate change...