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Sir William’s History Corner: Obsolete Equipment
BREA, California - In our last installment of History Corner, we addressed some obsolete phrases and sayings in the oil industry. Today we discuss...
Technical/Operations
Sir William’s History Corner – Clovenhoof College Days
BREA, California - I have been asked why it seems that I can never sit still for any length of time. I shall explain.
I...
Yellowstone Supervolcano Erupts; Mankind Doomed
The supervolcano in Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming that had been dormant for 640,000 years erupted yesterday, spewing hundreds of millions of tons of...
Geology/Geophysics
Last Two Palynologists Die, Species Declared Extinct
TULSA, Oklahoma - Palynology, the study of contemporary and fossil palynomorphs, including pollen, spores, orbicules, dinocysts, acritarchs, chitinozoans and scolecodonts (whatever the hell all...
Fat geologists perform better than thin geologists: Study
CALGARY, Alberta - In a landmark 20-year study, the Canadian Institute of Corpulence in Rotund, Manitoba revealed that well-upholstered geologists performed their tasks marginally...
Norse Gods form Midgard Geophysical Services
THULE, Greenland - The Norse god Thor announced today that he and a group of other Asgardians have incorporated a new geophysical services company, Midgard...
Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons
CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the patterns required in CandyCrush and Tetris to oil and...
70s Geologist, Debbil Maysong, wants his pencils back
CALGARY, Alberta - Gates, Jobs, Page, Brin, and Zuckerberg. These people are a quick list of huge success at the hands of computer tech...
Casket Wars Canada reality TV show sweeping the nation
CALGARY, Alberta - From the network that brought you Storage Wars and 27 & Counting, B&E's brand new reality TV show, Casket Wars Canada,...
CNAWA reveals climate change truths
Silversmith, Ontario - The Canadian National Association of Wiccans and Astrologists has recently published their in-house newsletter revealing the truth behind climate change and...
University of Eastern Ontario Modernizes Geology and Earth Science Program
TORONTO, Ontario - This morning the University of Eastern Ontario (Eastern) announced the complete and total overhaul of its Earth Science and Geological curriculum,...
UN Bans Geoscientists from All Social Media Platforms Internationally
North America, Earth - With recent developments and controversies surrounding the truth, science, and political opinion, large swaths of ideas and knowledge are being...
Breaking News! New seismic wave discovered
CLEVELAND, Ohio - A group of scientists at the Earth Motion Laboratory in Shaker Heights, Ohio announced today the discovery of a new type...
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2P News Staff
Most Commented
Dear Andy
Dear Andy: I suffer from stage fright taking a pee at...
Dear Andy:
My name is Adam. I am Joint Venture Representative at a mid-size operator in Calgary. Ever since I was a teenager, I would get very nervous taking...
Environment
Keystone Pipeline cancelled after massive water main break in China
WASHINGTON, DC - A massive water main break in Duo Dong, the capital city of the Chinese province of Li Ying Fuc, has flooded...
People's Choice Articles
Scientists invent a process to convert formation water into light oil
CALGARY, Alberta - In a remarkable scientific breakthrough, 2 scientists from the research labs at...
GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making
CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been...
Geologist finds a strong best fit through an amorphous cloud on poro-perm plot
CALGARY, Alberta - There is no question that geology is a subjective science that is...
No pipelines, no trains, just Ass
HARDISTY, Alberta - Pipelines leak. Got it. Trains derail. Got it. So what is the...
Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons
CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the...
HR department develops online survey to assess effectiveness of online surveys
CALGARY, Alberta - The Human Resources department of an intermediate oil and gas producer headquartered...
Former oil company executive relegated to greeter
CALGARY, Alberta -The ever growing price differential for bitumen continues to squeeze the netbacks for...
Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map
HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool...
Aliens vs. Geophysicists – Vibratory Revenge: Movie Review
The Bottom Line
This geophyical, sci-fi revenge fantasy thriller fails to deliver on all fronts.
Director-Screenwriter
Francis Birch
Cast
Brad...
Anne Hydrite and Ray Tracing – A love story
Anne Hydrite first laid eyes on Ray Tracing at an oil and gas convention in...
Back in the Day
Engineers. Love ’em or hate ’em, you likely gotta deal with...
Engineers. If you live in Calgary, there is a good chance you are an engineer, you are married to an engineer, you work with...
Engineer rearranges contents of dishwasher to optimize dirty dish density
CALGARY, Alberta - After seeing his visiting mother-in-law load the dishwasher following a rather large Sunday afternoon family dinner, Anton McKnight, a Petrophysical Engineer...
Production tech goes for coffee on the way back from going...
CALGARY, Alberta - On his way back from a 45 minute morning coffee run with 3 of his production engineering colleagues at Subterra Resources...
