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Monday, October 25, 2021

Recent News

Breaking News! Carnivorous Elephant on Rampage in Calgary area!

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CALGARY, Alberta – Lakshmi, an Indian elephant held in captivity at the Calgary Zoo, escaped last night and is now prowling the suburbs looking...

Technical/Operations

Engineers claim data not actually stored in clouds, push for class-action

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CALGARY, Alberta – The same group of Calgary-based engineers who in early 2018 conservatively, but correctly, estimated that at least 76 texts had been...

2P News to introduce subscription fee in 2040

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CALGARY, North Texas - The popular news blogging service that claims to be, "Your #1 source for irrelevant energy and political misinformation" has decided...

Government

Lifestyle

Geology/Geophysics

420 MMbbl oil pool discovered in Compton, CA

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LOS ANGELES, California - In a stroke of chemically induced ingenuity, senior geophysicist Smokey Reefer with Oakland-based Vapobong Resources believes he has discovered an...

Casket Wars Canada reality TV show sweeping the nation

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CALGARY, Alberta - From the network that brought you Storage Wars and 27 & Counting, B&E's brand new reality TV show, Casket Wars Canada,...

Oil and gas companies to reduce geology staffing costs in 2020 with new “Drill...

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CALGARY, Alberta – The oil and gas industry’s technological innovation over the last 150 years is truly astonishing, which his why its lackadaisical adoption...

Breaking News! New seismic wave discovered

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CLEVELAND, Ohio - A group of scientists at the Earth Motion Laboratory in Shaker Heights, Ohio announced today the discovery of a new type...

Study: Rectilinear contouring eliminates need for geologists

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CALGARY, Alberta - Calgary-based Bendovus Energy recently fired all of its geologists when a task force of engineers undertook an informal study that proved...

70s Geologist, Debbil Maysong, wants his pencils back

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CALGARY, Alberta - Gates, Jobs, Page, Brin, and Zuckerberg. These people are a quick list of huge success at the hands of computer tech...

Long Island Medium star consults for Cheaterson Energy in Texas

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DALLAS, Texas - Theresa Caputo, star of TLC's hit reality TV show Long Island Medium, recently signed a 12 month contract with Cheaterson Energy...

Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map

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HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool Resources, inadvertently stumbled across a potential new type of...

Geologists form independent professional association

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CALGARY, Alberta - A group of 13 geologists in Alberta's largest city have made a stand against the ranks of TCEGWC (or The Collective...

Breaking News: Suspects stowaway on SpaceEX rocket planning to access moon for oil exploration

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ORLANDO, Florida – Seven security guards at Cape Canaveral Air Force Base were assaulted by 4 suspects who forced entry into a SpaceEX rocket...

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Calgary Weather

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2P News Staff

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Most Commented

Dear Andy

Dear Andy: How can my company survive at sub $50 oil?

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Dear Andy: "My name is Pablo. I'm the President of a privately held junior oil and gas operator based out of Houston, Texas and I gotta tell ya, these...

Andy’s Mail Bag

Environment

Rare feces find confuses technician

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Marcus Iberious, an environmental consultant with Save Green Ltd., has recently published a paper claiming the existence of Americus Gigantus (AG) in western Alberta...

People's Choice Articles

Scientists invent a process to convert formation water into light oil

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CALGARY, Alberta - In a remarkable scientific breakthrough, 2 scientists from the research labs at...

GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making

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CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been...

Geologist finds a strong best fit through an amorphous cloud on poro-perm plot

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CALGARY, Alberta - There is no question that geology is a subjective science that is...

No pipelines, no trains, just Ass

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HARDISTY, Alberta - Pipelines leak.  Got it.  Trains derail.  Got it.  So what is the...

Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons

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CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the...

HR department develops online survey to assess effectiveness of online surveys

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CALGARY, Alberta - The Human Resources department of an intermediate oil and gas producer headquartered...

Former oil company executive relegated to greeter

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CALGARY, Alberta -The ever growing price differential for bitumen continues to squeeze the netbacks for...

Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map

7
HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool...

Aliens vs. Geophysicists – Vibratory Revenge: Movie Review

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The Bottom Line This geophyical, sci-fi revenge fantasy thriller fails to deliver on all fronts.Director-Screenwriter Francis BirchCast Brad...

Anne Hydrite and Ray Tracing – A love story

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Anne Hydrite first laid eyes on Ray Tracing at an oil and gas convention in...

Back in the Day

Engineers. Love ’em or hate ’em, you likely gotta deal with...

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Engineers. If you live in Calgary, there is a good chance you are an engineer, you are married to an engineer, you work with...

Engineer rearranges contents of dishwasher to optimize dirty dish density

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CALGARY, Alberta - After seeing his visiting mother-in-law load the dishwasher following a rather large Sunday afternoon family dinner, Anton McKnight, a Petrophysical Engineer...

Production tech goes for coffee on the way back from going...

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CALGARY, Alberta - On his way back from a 45 minute morning coffee run with 3 of his production engineering colleagues at Subterra Resources...

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