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How a public car insurance lawsuit by a Regina geologist is hitting home in...

SASKATOON, Saskatchewan - A Regina-based petroleum geologist has filed a lawsuit against Saskatchewan Government Insurance (SGI), citing an insurance claim to which they deemed no-fault. The problem for the provincial public insurer is that Randall...

peopleMINUS minusing people strikes a Chord with Calgary staff

CALGARY, Alberta - peopleMINUS Corporation says that being acquired by Houston-based Chordy Energy is responsible for the decision to close its longstanding office in downtown Calgary and relocate no staff anywhere, but rather just...

Top Ten changes Naheed Nenshi promises to make if elected leader of the Alberta...

EDMONTON, Alberta - By now we all know that former Calgary mayor, Naheed Nenshi, is vying for the top spot in the Alberta New Demoncratic Party. According to the three-term Calgary City boss, many...

Montreal eco-startup to build first-of-its-kind 175MW wind farm just outside of Sylvan Lake, Alberta

RED DEER, Alberta - Montreal eco-tech startup, Tabarnak Putain Calice Energy (TPCE) has announced today the start of construction of Connard Merde, a wind project in Red Deer County, just east of Sylvan Lake....

The profession that is most important to the success of the Oil and Gas industry across western Canada is:

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The City of Calgary announces ‘Ride or Die’ housing plan

CALGARY, Alberta - Two of the most pressing challenges the City of Calgary faces at the moment are housing and climate change. In an effort...

Calgary city council to introduce DryWash 2000™

CALGARY, Alberta – Climate Change is effecting all aspects of our lives, and recent years have shown Albertans that water is a precious and...

Alberta University to Offer Social Engineering Program Starting Fall 2024

EDMONTON, Alberta - The Centre for Analytical New Technology is introducing an undergraduate engineering program next fall to address industry needs. The 15-year old community...

Killer Asteroid from Uranus! 

Full disclosure:  This article was actually written by an artificial intelligence program, CrapGPT.  KILAUEA, HAWAII – Recently, out of the blue, I received a mysterious...

Dear Andy: I’m forced to go to my staff Holiday party...

Dear Andy: "My name is Manwell and I’m a mid-level exploitation engineer with a calgary-based junior E&P company. our president is pretty much forcing all...

Calgary-based E&P Start-Up to Explore in the Rockies

CALGARY, Alberta – Everyone knows the iconic Three Sisters mountains west of the city of Calgary, but what some don’t know is the hollow...

Scientists mathematically prove that geologists are absolute idiots

GENEVA, Switzerland - Scientists at the Fribourg University of Cardinal Knowledge have just proven that geologists (and all other geo"scientists") are complete idiots. This...

War Declared after Japecks/Mitsooey Sneak Attack on TexxonMogul

HONOLULU, Hawaii - A consortium of Japan Petroleum Exploitation, Mitsooey Bacon Grease and several other Japanese oil companies executed a surprise attack on the TexxonMogul...

5 Things everyone should know about geologists (Part II)

<This article was originally published sometime in 2014, but after making some changes to it (based on feedback from some angry readers), it is...

Bendovus Energy Introduces Upscale ‘Free Range’ Barrels

The Disassociated Press - Calgary-based Bendovus Energy has expanded its petroleum portfolio with a more socially-friendly produced free-range version of its existing light and...

Company cuts core along entire HZ leg of well to confirm in-zone drilling

FORT NELSON, British Columbia - Share price plummeted this week for junior oil and gas operator Short Run Energy, as news of an experimental...

420 MMbbl oil pool discovered in Compton, CA

LOS ANGELES, California - In a stroke of chemically induced ingenuity, senior geophysicist Smokey Reefer with Oakland-based Vapobong Resources believes he has discovered an...

Long Island Medium star consults for Cheaterson Energy in Texas

DALLAS, Texas - Theresa Caputo, star of TLC's hit reality TV show Long Island Medium, recently signed a 12 month contract with Cheaterson Energy...

Oil and gas companies to reduce geology staffing costs in 2020 with new “Drill...

CALGARY, Alberta – The oil and gas industry’s technological innovation over the last 150 years is truly astonishing, which his why its lackadaisical adoption...

Canadian Space Agency sending geologists to Mars and the Moon to study space rocks

VANCOUVER, British Columbia - Early on the morning of September 30th, 2018, the sky near Cape Couveral, BC, will light up as the United Alliance...

Toyota creates Prius Geologist Edition, can’t keep them in stock

TOYOTA CITY, Japan - The Toyota Motor Corporation announced today that it has released a special Prius Geologist Edition to the North American market,...

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2P News Staff

Andy Killinger
Antoine McGuillicuddy
Cynthia Redbush
Dr. Darcy Flowman
Gretel Foonberger
Rodecker Smith
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Houston area man drills well in backyard, charges laid

HOUSTON, Texas - A Sugar Land, TX man and his neighbour are in police custody after the duo drilled an unauthorized gas well in the backyard of one of the men in search of...

Geologist assaulted for teasing MWD staff

CALGARY, Alberta - A senior wellsite geologist has been hospitalized after a violent incident on a drilling rig in northern Alberta last night. Ricky Rockerson was violently beaten to within an inch of his life...

Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons

CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the patterns required in CandyCrush and Tetris to oil and gas plays, has designed a new set of specialty geology crayons...

Crustal drilling project results in Volcano near Didsbury

RED DEER, Alberta - Central Alberta was thrust into chaos this morning when a deep test well may have instigated the first active volcano in Alberta's history.  Deep Thrust Energy, a conglomerate of consolidated...

Dear Andy: I’m worried about a recent outbreak of NerdVid-42 viruses...

Dear Andy: My name is Gretan and I’m an HR specialist working in a busy downtown office with many engineers and geologists who I know...

Belgian Company Touts New Pipeline Inspection Service

TORONTO, Ontario - Peyo Enterprises of Brussels, Belgium announced that it has formed a new division dedicated to providing pipeline inspection services to the...

People's Choice Articles

Scientists invent a process to convert formation water into light oil

CALGARY, Alberta - In a remarkable scientific breakthrough, 2 scientists from the research labs at...

GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making

CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been...

Geologist finds a strong best fit through an amorphous cloud on poro-perm plot

CALGARY, Alberta - There is no question that geology is a subjective science that is...

No pipelines, no trains, just Ass

HARDISTY, Alberta - Pipelines leak.  Got it.  Trains derail.  Got it.  So what is the...

Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons

CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the...

HR department develops online survey to assess effectiveness of online surveys

CALGARY, Alberta - The Human Resources department of an intermediate oil and gas producer headquartered...

Former oil company executive relegated to greeter

CALGARY, Alberta -The ever growing price differential for bitumen continues to squeeze the netbacks for...

Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map

HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool...

Aliens vs. Geophysicists – Vibratory Revenge: Movie Review

The Bottom Line This geophyical, sci-fi revenge fantasy thriller fails to deliver on all fronts. Director-Screenwriter Francis Birch Cast Brad...

Anne Hydrite and Ray Tracing – A love story

Anne Hydrite first laid eyes on Ray Tracing at an oil and gas convention in...

Back in the Day

Engineers. Love ’em or hate ’em, you likely gotta deal with...

Engineers. If you live in Calgary, there is a good chance you are an engineer, you are married to an engineer, you work with...

Engineer rearranges contents of dishwasher to optimize dirty dish density

CALGARY, Alberta - After seeing his visiting mother-in-law load the dishwasher following a rather large Sunday afternoon family dinner, Anton McKnight, a Petrophysical Engineer...

Production tech goes for coffee on the way back from going...

CALGARY, Alberta - On his way back from a 45 minute morning coffee run with 3 of his production engineering colleagues at Subterra Resources...

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