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69,837,420,298 pico-litres of crude oil spills near Bitchko Lake, Alberta

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HARDISTY, Alberta - Gheytex Energy, the company that pioneered the Rear-Entry well recovery program, says that 69,837,420,298 pico-litres of crude oil spilled on one...

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Government

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Geology/Geophysics

CNAWA reveals climate change truths

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Silversmith, Ontario - The Canadian National Association of Wiccans and Astrologists has recently published their in-house newsletter revealing the truth behind climate change and...

NDP to offer Canadian geologists full pension to retire

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OTTAWA, Ontario - Early this morning, at a small video press conference with Premier Notley, the federal and Alberta provincial leaders were proposing ideas on...

Geologists form independent professional association

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CALGARY, Alberta - A group of 13 geologists in Alberta's largest city have made a stand against the ranks of TCEGWC (or The Collective...

Bendovus Energy Introduces Upscale ‘Free Range’ Barrels

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The Disassociated Press - Calgary-based Bendovus Energy has expanded its petroleum portfolio with a more socially-friendly produced free-range version of its existing light and...

Scientists Admit that the Earth is Flat After All

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LONDON, England - In perhaps the most astonishing mea culpa in recorded history, representatives of all the major scientific organizations issued a joint statement...

Geologist finds a strong best fit through an amorphous cloud on poro-perm plot

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CALGARY, Alberta - There is no question that geology is a subjective science that is open to interpretation. But every now and again, a...

Unemployed Petroleum Professionals Technical Conference coming to Calgary this summer!

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CALGARY, Alberta - The Canadian Society of Unemployed Petroleum Professionals (CSUPP) is hosting its inaugural Technical Conference & Exhibition this summer. The society, whose...

Geophysicist develops 6th sense for discovering PNG deposits

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ESTEVAN, Saskatchewan - Back in the early history of the PNG industry, oil was literally found by stumbling upon seeps of oil that made...

CEO fired after mandating that geologists use Sequence Calligraphy technique

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CALGARY, Alberta - Guggerant Exploration formally announced the termination of Chief Executive Officer Rianni Farnto today at its investor web conference.  The news of...

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Most Commented

Dear Andy

Dear Andy – Revenge is a Dish Best Served Cold

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Dear Andy, I recently got laid off again and I’m so pissed I can’t see straight.  The cretin who fired me did it with a...

Environment

PowerPants® unveiled by 2P News scientists at Renewable Energy trade show

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LAS VEGAS, Nevada - The 2013 Renewable Energy Expo that was held Monday and Tuesday of this week at the Lincoln Convention Center, Las Vegas, was...

People's Choice Articles

Scientists invent a process to convert formation water into light oil

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CALGARY, Alberta - In a remarkable scientific breakthrough, 2 scientists from the research labs at...

GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making

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CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been...

Geologist finds a strong best fit through an amorphous cloud on poro-perm plot

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CALGARY, Alberta - There is no question that geology is a subjective science that is...

No pipelines, no trains, just Ass

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HARDISTY, Alberta - Pipelines leak.  Got it.  Trains derail.  Got it.  So what is the...

Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons

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CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the...

HR department develops online survey to assess effectiveness of online surveys

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CALGARY, Alberta - The Human Resources department of an intermediate oil and gas producer headquartered...

Former oil company executive relegated to greeter

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CALGARY, Alberta -The ever growing price differential for bitumen continues to squeeze the netbacks for...

Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map

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HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool...

Aliens vs. Geophysicists – Vibratory Revenge: Movie Review

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The Bottom Line This geophyical, sci-fi revenge fantasy thriller fails to deliver on all fronts. Director-Screenwriter Francis Birch Cast Brad...

Anne Hydrite and Ray Tracing – A love story

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Anne Hydrite first laid eyes on Ray Tracing at an oil and gas convention in...

Back in the Day

Engineers. Love ’em or hate ’em, you likely gotta deal with...

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Engineers. If you live in Calgary, there is a good chance you are an engineer, you are married to an engineer, you work with...

Engineer rearranges contents of dishwasher to optimize dirty dish density

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CALGARY, Alberta - After seeing his visiting mother-in-law load the dishwasher following a rather large Sunday afternoon family dinner, Anton McKnight, a Petrophysical Engineer...

Production tech goes for coffee on the way back from going...

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CALGARY, Alberta - On his way back from a 45 minute morning coffee run with 3 of his production engineering colleagues at Subterra Resources...

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