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University of Calgary Bows to Political Correctness, Changes Mascot
CALGARY, Alberta – Officials at the University of Calgary (UofC) announced today that they have caved in to demands that the university’s name for...
Technical/Operations
Geologists make startling discovery, CBC outraged with denial
CALGARY, Alberta - There is a universal question that most people ask when they meet a geologist. What can you tell me about dinosaurs?...
Calgary-based Deep Earth Disposal solves Tesla’s battery disposal woes
CALGARY, Alberta - Are electric vehicles really greener and eco-friendly? They seem to be a great solution to fight climate change and they are...
Lifestyle
Geology/Geophysics
Study: Rectilinear contouring eliminates need for geologists
CALGARY, Alberta - Calgary-based Bendovus Energy recently fired all of its geologists when a task force of engineers undertook an informal study that proved...
Laptop Computer Modified for Geologists
LOS ANGELES, California - Silicon Magic Inc. (SMI) of Palo Mino, California announced a line of specialty laptop computers designed especially for earth scientists....
The Association of Canadian Exploration Geoscientists scales down 2019 Technical Conference
CALGARY, Alberta - The Association of Canadian Exploration Geoscientists (ACEG) has formally announced that it will scale down its spring 2019 Technical Convention and...
Toyota creates Prius Geologist Edition, can’t keep them in stock
TOYOTA CITY, Japan - The Toyota Motor Corporation announced today that it has released a special Prius Geologist Edition to the North American market,...
BREAKING NEWS: Geophysicist Bre-X’d after 3 dry wells
CALGARY, Alberta - Breaking news this Monday morning here in Oil City. A tragic death over the weekend has now been reclassified from an...
NDP to offer Canadian geologists full pension to retire
OTTAWA, Ontario - Early this morning, at a small video press conference with Premier Notley, the federal and Alberta provincial leaders were proposing ideas on...
Geophysicist develops 6th sense for discovering PNG deposits
ESTEVAN, Saskatchewan - Back in the early history of the PNG industry, oil was literally found by stumbling upon seeps of oil that made...
Geophrenologist Claims Ability to Locate Oil and Gas
LOONEYTUNE, California - The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines phrenology as the study of the conformation of the skull based on the belief that it is...
Last Two Palynologists Die, Species Declared Extinct
TULSA, Oklahoma - Palynology, the study of contemporary and fossil palynomorphs, including pollen, spores, orbicules, dinocysts, acritarchs, chitinozoans and scolecodonts (whatever the hell all...
Nuclear-Powered Brassiere Explodes During Seismic Survey
CALGARY, Alberta - Details of a horrible accident that occurred during a seismic survey in the Canadian Rockies near Banff came to light this...
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Calgary Weather
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2P News Staff
Most Commented
Dear Andy
Dear Annie, I’m surrounded by idiots at work, what can I...
Dear Annie:
My name is Candi. I am an engineer working for a design and integrity firm in Calgary. I work with a large number...
Environment
Notley Government: We don’t need pipelines, OIL FLOATS!
New petroleum transport mechanism will revolutionize the midstream industry.
Concept has special interest eco-terrorists group members quaking in their hemp-laced Birkenstocks.
EDMONTON, Alberta -...
People's Choice Articles
Scientists invent a process to convert formation water into light oil
CALGARY, Alberta - In a remarkable scientific breakthrough, 2 scientists from the research labs at...
GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making
CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been...
Geologist finds a strong best fit through an amorphous cloud on poro-perm plot
CALGARY, Alberta - There is no question that geology is a subjective science that is...
No pipelines, no trains, just Ass
HARDISTY, Alberta - Pipelines leak. Got it. Trains derail. Got it. So what is the...
Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons
CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the...
HR department develops online survey to assess effectiveness of online surveys
CALGARY, Alberta - The Human Resources department of an intermediate oil and gas producer headquartered...
Former oil company executive relegated to greeter
CALGARY, Alberta -The ever growing price differential for bitumen continues to squeeze the netbacks for...
Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map
HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool...
Aliens vs. Geophysicists – Vibratory Revenge: Movie Review
The Bottom Line
This geophyical, sci-fi revenge fantasy thriller fails to deliver on all fronts.
Director-Screenwriter
Francis Birch
Cast
Brad...
Anne Hydrite and Ray Tracing – A love story
Anne Hydrite first laid eyes on Ray Tracing at an oil and gas convention in...
Back in the Day
Engineers. Love ’em or hate ’em, you likely gotta deal with...
Engineers. If you live in Calgary, there is a good chance you are an engineer, you are married to an engineer, you work with...
Engineer rearranges contents of dishwasher to optimize dirty dish density
CALGARY, Alberta - After seeing his visiting mother-in-law load the dishwasher following a rather large Sunday afternoon family dinner, Anton McKnight, a Petrophysical Engineer...
Production tech goes for coffee on the way back from going...
CALGARY, Alberta - On his way back from a 45 minute morning coffee run with 3 of his production engineering colleagues at Subterra Resources...
