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Calgary-startup has solution to the abandoned wells problem; Alberta’s oil and gas regulator is...

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In Alberta, there are roughly 237,000 drilled wells that need to be abandoned and their leases remediated and reclaimed. About 80,000 of these wells are currently non-producing (referred to as inactive wells), while another...

Alberta-developed CCR technology to avert planet earth’s next glaciation event

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EDMONTON, Alberta - Roughly 700 million years ago, before multicellular animals emerged or plants made their way to land, Earth was plunged into an ice age that lasted for 57 million years. Now, a...

City of Calgary to implement insane economic recovery plan initiatives, says leaked memo

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CALGARY, Alberta – A leaked memo from Calgary's city hall revealed a shocking economic plan early this morning that is leaving people bewildered. According to a source that asked 2P News to remain anonymous,...

Secret oil and gas well causes disaster

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EDMONTON, ALBERTA – In a storage yard south of Edmonton, Alberta a disaster unfolded over the May long weekend. It started with a prank, became a project, and ended in a serious mess. According to...

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Movie Reviews

Recent News

NHL inks puck deal with oil and gas service company for...

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TORONTO, The Centre of the Universe -  According to the Disassociated Press, the National Hockey League has just signed a deal with Red Deer-based...

MILF Capital to acquire cash-strapped Cougar Valley Resources in all cash...

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Transaction grows MILFs presence in the hot, yet dated, Brazzers unconventional play MILF plans to continue strategy of resurrecting old dry holes and...

How a public car insurance lawsuit by a Regina geologist is...

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SASKATOON, Saskatchewan - A Regina-based petroleum geologist has filed a lawsuit against Saskatchewan Government Insurance (SGI), citing an insurance claim to which they deemed no-fault....

peopleMINUS minusing people strikes a Chord with Calgary staff

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CALGARY, Alberta - peopleMINUS Corporation says that being acquired by Houston-based Chordy Energy is responsible for the decision to close its longstanding office in...

Top Ten changes Naheed Nenshi promises to make if elected leader...

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EDMONTON, Alberta - By now we all know that former Calgary mayor, Naheed Nenshi, is vying for the top spot in the Alberta New...

Montreal eco-startup to build first-of-its-kind 175MW wind farm just outside of...

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RED DEER, Alberta - Montreal eco-tech startup, Tabarnak Putain Calice Energy (TPCE) has announced today the start of construction of Connard Merde, a wind...

Northern Alberta group unveils GGA fighting league

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PEACE RIVER, Alberta - A new fighting league has sprung up in northern Alberta over the last fe months, but not the typical cage...

Political Palaeontologists may have discovered the real reason dinosaurs went extinct

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DRUMHELLER, Alberta - A group of political palaeontologists at the University of Central Alberta's Department of Interesting New Knowledge in Drumheller, Alberta, have discovered...

Ore Bodies Located with Bovinity Rays

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EDMONTON, Alberta – A new methodology for locating subterranean ore bodies is taking Alberta mining districts by storm.  Development of the method began with...

Area geologist undertakes huge mapping project

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ROCKY MOUNTAIN HOUSE, Alberta - Airplane hangars.  They are not typically associated with oil and gas other than they are sometimes strategically placed near...

Geology-inspired Phi-K Doughnuts coming to downtown Calgary this spring

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CALGARY, Alberta - Calgary is the hotbed for doughnut shops ranging from the basics at Tim Hortons all the way up to the 2nd-tier...

Crazy Old Fart Reveals Secrets of Seismic Processing

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HOUSTON, Texas - Hazy O’Grady, a semi-retired geophysical consultant, claims that he is one of a handful of people who fully understands seismic processing....

A geologist and his maps

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CALGARY, Alberta - In the fading light of what was an amazing final oil boom, geologists in Alberta, specifically Calgary, are suffering. Long gone...

Casket Wars Canada reality TV show sweeping the nation

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CALGARY, Alberta - From the network that brought you Storage Wars and 27 & Counting, B&E's brand new reality TV show, Casket Wars Canada,...

Subsurface PNG professionals launch Rez-Rescue emergency response

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CALGARY, Alberta - It has been said that necessity is the mother of all invention. Here is a case in point from an entrepreneurial...

Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map

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HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool Resources, inadvertently stumbled across a potential new type of...

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2P News Staff

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Houston area man drills well in backyard, charges laid

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HOUSTON, Texas - A Sugar Land, TX man and his neighbour are in police custody after the duo drilled an unauthorized gas well in the backyard of one of the men in search of...

Geologist assaulted for teasing MWD staff

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CALGARY, Alberta - A senior wellsite geologist has been hospitalized after a violent incident on a drilling rig in northern Alberta last night. Ricky Rockerson was violently beaten to within an inch of his life...

Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons

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CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the patterns required in CandyCrush and Tetris to oil and gas plays, has designed a new set of specialty geology crayons...

Crustal drilling project results in Volcano near Didsbury

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RED DEER, Alberta - Central Alberta was thrust into chaos this morning when a deep test well may have instigated the first active volcano in Alberta's history.  Deep Thrust Energy, a conglomerate of consolidated...

Dear Andy: I suffer from stage fright taking a pee at...

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Dear Andy: My name is Adam. I am Joint Venture Representative at a mid-size operator in Calgary. Ever since I was a teenager, I would get very nervous taking...

Notley’s climate plan amended to include hard cap on bovine methane...

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EDMONTON, Alberta – After realizing that her recently unveiled climate strategy had left one stone unturned, Premier Notley quickly amended the plan to include...

People's Choice Articles

Scientists invent a process to convert formation water into light oil

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CALGARY, Alberta - In a remarkable scientific breakthrough, 2 scientists from the research labs at...

GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making

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CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been...

Geologist finds a strong best fit through an amorphous cloud on poro-perm plot

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CALGARY, Alberta - There is no question that geology is a subjective science that is...

No pipelines, no trains, just Ass

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HARDISTY, Alberta - Pipelines leak.  Got it.  Trains derail.  Got it.  So what is the...

Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons

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CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the...

HR department develops online survey to assess effectiveness of online surveys

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CALGARY, Alberta - The Human Resources department of an intermediate oil and gas producer headquartered...

Former oil company executive relegated to greeter

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CALGARY, Alberta -The ever growing price differential for bitumen continues to squeeze the netbacks for...

Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map

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HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool...

Aliens vs. Geophysicists – Vibratory Revenge: Movie Review

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The Bottom Line This geophyical, sci-fi revenge fantasy thriller fails to deliver on all fronts. Director-Screenwriter Francis Birch Cast Brad...

Anne Hydrite and Ray Tracing – A love story

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Anne Hydrite first laid eyes on Ray Tracing at an oil and gas convention in...

Back in the Day

Engineers. Love ’em or hate ’em, you likely gotta deal with...

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Engineers. If you live in Calgary, there is a good chance you are an engineer, you are married to an engineer, you work with...

Engineer rearranges contents of dishwasher to optimize dirty dish density

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CALGARY, Alberta - After seeing his visiting mother-in-law load the dishwasher following a rather large Sunday afternoon family dinner, Anton McKnight, a Petrophysical Engineer...

Production tech goes for coffee on the way back from going...

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CALGARY, Alberta - On his way back from a 45 minute morning coffee run with 3 of his production engineering colleagues at Subterra Resources...

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