Recent News
Calgary Mayor Gonyet attempts to cancel Stampede just before parade
CALGARY, Alberta - Calgary Mayor Joki Gonyet's proposal to cancel the Calgary City Stampede just before the popular parade through downtown Calgary was overturned...
Technical/Operations
Neil Young secretly plans hostile oilsands takeover
EDMONTON, Alberta - Neil Young has made headlines around the world in recent days, bad mouthing the Alberta oil sands, slagging the people it...
Quagmire Energy reveals perpetual flush production optimization strategy
WEYBURN, Saskatchewan - Stock price for Quagmire Energy surged after news of the Regina-based company's new production optimization strategy hit the streets. The company is...
Geology/Geophysics
Unemployed Petroleum Professionals Technical Conference coming to Calgary this summer!
CALGARY, Alberta - The Canadian Society of Unemployed Petroleum Professionals (CSUPP) is hosting its inaugural Technical Conference & Exhibition this summer. The society, whose...
Weekend party could cost Calgary-area geologist and friends more than $240,000
CALGARY, Alberta - A weekend party could cost a Calgary-area geologist and roughly 150 of her friends more than $240,000 after police laid charges...
Scientists mathematically prove that geologists are absolute idiots
GENEVA, Switzerland - Scientists at the Fribourg University of Cardinal Knowledge have just proven that geologists (and all other geo"scientists") are complete idiots. This...
The Association of Canadian Exploration Geoscientists scales down 2019 Technical Conference
CALGARY, Alberta - The Association of Canadian Exploration Geoscientists (ACEG) has formally announced that it will scale down its spring 2019 Technical Convention and...
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Calgary Weather
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2P News Staff
Most Commented
Dear Andy
Dear Andy: What do I say to my smartass children?
Dear Andy,
I really liked your advice on what to say to combative women in a recent column. I have a similar situation. My...
Environment
Enviro groups lobby for subsurface well reclamation requirements
CALGARY, Alberta - Reclaiming abandoned wells is common practice throughout the oil and gas industry world wide. Operators are typically mandated by a regulatory...
People's Choice Articles
Scientists invent a process to convert formation water into light oil
CALGARY, Alberta - In a remarkable scientific breakthrough, 2 scientists from the research labs at...
GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making
CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been...
Geologist finds a strong best fit through an amorphous cloud on poro-perm plot
CALGARY, Alberta - There is no question that geology is a subjective science that is...
No pipelines, no trains, just Ass
HARDISTY, Alberta - Pipelines leak. Got it. Trains derail. Got it. So what is the...
Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons
CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the...
HR department develops online survey to assess effectiveness of online surveys
CALGARY, Alberta - The Human Resources department of an intermediate oil and gas producer headquartered...
Former oil company executive relegated to greeter
CALGARY, Alberta -The ever growing price differential for bitumen continues to squeeze the netbacks for...
Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map
HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool...
Aliens vs. Geophysicists – Vibratory Revenge: Movie Review
The Bottom Line
This geophyical, sci-fi revenge fantasy thriller fails to deliver on all fronts.
Director-Screenwriter
Francis Birch
Cast
Brad...
Anne Hydrite and Ray Tracing – A love story
Anne Hydrite first laid eyes on Ray Tracing at an oil and gas convention in...
Back in the Day
Engineers. Love ’em or hate ’em, you likely gotta deal with...
Engineers. If you live in Calgary, there is a good chance you are an engineer, you are married to an engineer, you work with...
Engineer rearranges contents of dishwasher to optimize dirty dish density
CALGARY, Alberta - After seeing his visiting mother-in-law load the dishwasher following a rather large Sunday afternoon family dinner, Anton McKnight, a Petrophysical Engineer...
Production tech goes for coffee on the way back from going...
CALGARY, Alberta - On his way back from a 45 minute morning coffee run with 3 of his production engineering colleagues at Subterra Resources...
