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Movie Review: Totally Recalled: Failure to Lead

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“If I wanted to spend 2 hours watching a woman refusing to use logic while arguing, I could have just had lunch with my mother-in-law.” – Ron Chee, Stettler Tribune “I have a...

The City of Calgary announces ‘Ride or Die’ housing plan

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CALGARY, Alberta - Two of the most pressing challenges the City of Calgary faces at the moment are housing and climate change. In an effort to effect positive change on both fronts, city council has...

The Normals vs The World – Movie Review

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“Who in the Lord’s name put the stink on this film?” – Laura Olandski, The Edmonton Free Press “I had the misfortune of watching ‘The Normals’ at the cinema, but most people will see the film by...

Calgary city council to introduce DryWash 2000™

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CALGARY, Alberta – Climate Change is effecting all aspects of our lives, and recent years have shown Albertans that water is a precious and scarce resource. The province of Alberta relies on melting snow...

The profession that is most important to the success of the Oil and Gas industry across western Canada is:

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Recent News

Alberta University to Offer Social Engineering Program Starting Fall 2024

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EDMONTON, Alberta - The Centre for Analytical New Technology is introducing an undergraduate engineering program next fall to address industry needs. The 15-year old community...

Killer Asteroid from Uranus! 

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Full disclosure:  This article was actually written by an artificial intelligence program, CrapGPT.  KILAUEA, HAWAII – Recently, out of the blue, I received a mysterious...

Dear Andy: I’m forced to go to my staff Holiday party...

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Dear Andy: "My name is Manwell and I’m a mid-level exploitation engineer with a calgary-based junior E&P company. our president is pretty much forcing all...

Calgary-based E&P Start-Up to Explore in the Rockies

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CALGARY, Alberta – Everyone knows the iconic Three Sisters mountains west of the city of Calgary, but what some don’t know is the hollow...

AI decodes what oil and gas professionals really mean when they...

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EDMONTON, Alberta - AI chatbots, such as ChatGPT, are great fun, but they also have very practical uses. For example, it can create bespoke...

Calgary-based geologist patents GeoThermals™

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CALGARY, Alberta - Kristoph Iverson, graduated in 2001 with a geology degree, got a job at Encana, as most of his class did. Eventually...

3 rig workers injured in tragic wildlife attack

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HOPE HILLS, California - A savage wildlife attack on a drilling rig in Sonoma County, California has executives with GreenWell Energy reconsidering their new pilot project....

Crashent Point acquires Saskatchewan

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Crashent Point Energy acquires the province in a blockbuster $537B deal. REGINA, Saskatchewan - Breaking news from the easy-to-draw province's capital this morning where 2P...

Yellowstone Supervolcano Erupts; Mankind Doomed

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The supervolcano in Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming that had been dormant for 640,000 years erupted yesterday, spewing hundreds of millions of tons of...

GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making

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CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been able to find rather strong correlations between various sexual...

Massive Asteroid to Strike Earth; Geologists Delighted

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PASADENA, Texas - The National Aeronautics and Space Administration held a press conference today warning of an imminent collision between Earth and a massive...

Scientists mathematically prove that geologists are absolute idiots

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GENEVA, Switzerland - Scientists at the Fribourg University of Cardinal Knowledge have just proven that geologists (and all other geo"scientists") are complete idiots. This...

Bendovus Energy Introduces Upscale ‘Free Range’ Barrels

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The Disassociated Press - Calgary-based Bendovus Energy has expanded its petroleum portfolio with a more socially-friendly produced free-range version of its existing light and...

Company cuts core along entire HZ leg of well to confirm in-zone drilling

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FORT NELSON, British Columbia - Share price plummeted this week for junior oil and gas operator Short Run Energy, as news of an experimental...

Study: Rectilinear contouring eliminates need for geologists

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CALGARY, Alberta - Calgary-based Bendovus Energy recently fired all of its geologists when a task force of engineers undertook an informal study that proved...

New-age energy startup struggles with well identity

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The Disassociated Press | 3 minute read CALGARY, Alberta - A Nelson, BC oil and gas exploration company that drilled its first 5-well pad 3...

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2P News Staff

Andy Killinger
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Antoine McGuillicuddy
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Cynthia Redbush
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Dr. Darcy Flowman
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Gretel Foonberger
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Most Commented

Houston area man drills well in backyard, charges laid

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HOUSTON, Texas - A Sugar Land, TX man and his neighbour are in police custody after the duo drilled an unauthorized gas well in the backyard of one of the men in search of...

Geologist assaulted for teasing MWD staff

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CALGARY, Alberta - A senior wellsite geologist has been hospitalized after a violent incident on a drilling rig in northern Alberta last night. Ricky Rockerson was violently beaten to within an inch of his life...

Crustal drilling project results in Volcano near Didsbury

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RED DEER, Alberta - Central Alberta was thrust into chaos this morning when a deep test well may have instigated the first active volcano in Alberta's history.  Deep Thrust Energy, a conglomerate of consolidated...

Study: Global warming linked to Sun

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CALGARY, Alberta - A recent study conducted by a group of scientists assembled and funded by a consortium of major oil and gas producers has concluded that climate change and global warming are not...

Dear Annie, I’m surrounded by idiots at work, what can I...

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Dear Annie: My name is Candi.  I am an engineer working for a design and integrity firm in Calgary. I work with a large number...

Andy’s Mail Bag: Part 2

Exploratory Well in British Columbia Strikes Oobleck

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VANCOUVER, British Columbia – Soose Exploration Co. of Surrey, BC reported that an exploratory well on the edge of the King Derwin Field in...

People's Choice Articles

Scientists invent a process to convert formation water into light oil

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CALGARY, Alberta - In a remarkable scientific breakthrough, 2 scientists from the research labs at...

GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making

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CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been...

Geologist finds a strong best fit through an amorphous cloud on poro-perm plot

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CALGARY, Alberta - There is no question that geology is a subjective science that is...

No pipelines, no trains, just Ass

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HARDISTY, Alberta - Pipelines leak.  Got it.  Trains derail.  Got it.  So what is the...

Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons

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CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the...

HR department develops online survey to assess effectiveness of online surveys

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CALGARY, Alberta - The Human Resources department of an intermediate oil and gas producer headquartered...

Former oil company executive relegated to greeter

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CALGARY, Alberta -The ever growing price differential for bitumen continues to squeeze the netbacks for...

Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map

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HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool...

Aliens vs. Geophysicists – Vibratory Revenge: Movie Review

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The Bottom Line This geophyical, sci-fi revenge fantasy thriller fails to deliver on all fronts. Director-Screenwriter Francis Birch Cast Brad...

Anne Hydrite and Ray Tracing – A love story

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Anne Hydrite first laid eyes on Ray Tracing at an oil and gas convention in...

Back in the Day

Engineers. Love ’em or hate ’em, you likely gotta deal with...

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Engineers. If you live in Calgary, there is a good chance you are an engineer, you are married to an engineer, you work with...

Engineer rearranges contents of dishwasher to optimize dirty dish density

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CALGARY, Alberta - After seeing his visiting mother-in-law load the dishwasher following a rather large Sunday afternoon family dinner, Anton McKnight, a Petrophysical Engineer...

Production tech goes for coffee on the way back from going...

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CALGARY, Alberta - On his way back from a 45 minute morning coffee run with 3 of his production engineering colleagues at Subterra Resources...

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