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Rodecker Smith’s Unsolved Mysteries

2
CALGARY, Alberta - As crack (or in Andy's case, crackhead) journalists, we staff members at 2P News pride ourselves on tracking down leads, following...

Technical/Operations

2013 APECA Ethanol Consumption Technical Conference

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The Association of Professional Ethanol Consumers of Alberta (APECA) is proud to present the 2013 Unconventional Ethanol Side Effects technical conference. Date: November 3rd and 4th, 2013 Time: Doors...

2P News to introduce subscription fee in 2040

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CALGARY, North Texas - The popular news blogging service that claims to be, "Your #1 source for irrelevant energy and political misinformation" has decided...

Government

Lifestyle

Geology/Geophysics

Pegmatites Declared Noxious Rocks

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CALGARY, Alberta - In a surprise move during a press conference at the annual convention of the International Society of Geological Trivia (ISGT) in Calgary,...

University of Eastern Ontario Modernizes Geology and Earth Science Program

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TORONTO, Ontario - This morning the University of Eastern Ontario (Eastern) announced the complete and total overhaul of its Earth Science and Geological curriculum,...

Scientists Admit that the Earth is Flat After All

4
LONDON, England - In perhaps the most astonishing mea culpa in recorded history, representatives of all the major scientific organizations issued a joint statement...

Canadian Space Agency sending geologists to Mars and the Moon to study space rocks

2
VANCOUVER, British Columbia - Early on the morning of September 30th, 2018, the sky near Cape Couveral, BC, will light up as the United Alliance...

Last Two Palynologists Die, Species Declared Extinct

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TULSA, Oklahoma - Palynology, the study of contemporary and fossil palynomorphs, including pollen, spores, orbicules, dinocysts, acritarchs, chitinozoans and scolecodonts  (whatever the hell all...

The world’s largest crayon maker is being sued by geologists, here’s why

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CALGARY, Alberta - The head of the Canadian Association of Petroleum Geologists has filed a complaint in the consumer court against one of the...

The Association of Canadian Exploration Geoscientists scales down 2019 Technical Conference

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CALGARY, Alberta - The Association of Canadian Exploration Geoscientists (ACEG) has formally announced that it will scale down its spring 2019 Technical Convention and...

70s Geologist, Debbil Maysong, wants his pencils back

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CALGARY, Alberta - Gates, Jobs, Page, Brin, and Zuckerberg. These people are a quick list of huge success at the hands of computer tech...

CNAWA reveals climate change truths

1
Silversmith, Ontario - The Canadian National Association of Wiccans and Astrologists has recently published their in-house newsletter revealing the truth behind climate change and...

Norse Gods form Midgard Geophysical Services

1
THULE, Greenland - The Norse god Thor announced today that he and a group of other Asgardians have incorporated a new geophysical services company, Midgard...

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2P News Staff

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Most Commented

Dear Andy

Dear Andy: How can my team still have fun this Stampede...

3
Andy Killinger, 2P Staff CounselorDear Andy: "My name is Marvin McGlavin. I'm a 2nd-tier team lead at an intermediate oil and gas company in downtown...

Environment

Moose Turds Identified as New Energy Source; Oil Companies Horrified

6
CALGARY, Alberta - Research scientists at the University of Calgary announced today that moose droppings in the vicinity of Lake Louise in western Alberta...

People's Choice Articles

Scientists invent a process to convert formation water into light oil

3
CALGARY, Alberta - In a remarkable scientific breakthrough, 2 scientists from the research labs at...

GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making

1
CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been...

Geologist finds a strong best fit through an amorphous cloud on poro-perm plot

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CALGARY, Alberta - There is no question that geology is a subjective science that is...

No pipelines, no trains, just Ass

13
HARDISTY, Alberta - Pipelines leak.  Got it.  Trains derail.  Got it.  So what is the...

Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons

33
CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the...

HR department develops online survey to assess effectiveness of online surveys

12
CALGARY, Alberta - The Human Resources department of an intermediate oil and gas producer headquartered...

Former oil company executive relegated to greeter

4
CALGARY, Alberta -The ever growing price differential for bitumen continues to squeeze the netbacks for...

Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map

7
HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool...

Aliens vs. Geophysicists – Vibratory Revenge: Movie Review

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The Bottom Line This geophyical, sci-fi revenge fantasy thriller fails to deliver on all fronts. Director-Screenwriter Francis Birch Cast Brad...

Anne Hydrite and Ray Tracing – A love story

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Anne Hydrite first laid eyes on Ray Tracing at an oil and gas convention in...

Back in the Day

Engineers. Love ’em or hate ’em, you likely gotta deal with...

2
Engineers. If you live in Calgary, there is a good chance you are an engineer, you are married to an engineer, you work with...

Engineer rearranges contents of dishwasher to optimize dirty dish density

1
CALGARY, Alberta - After seeing his visiting mother-in-law load the dishwasher following a rather large Sunday afternoon family dinner, Anton McKnight, a Petrophysical Engineer...

Production tech goes for coffee on the way back from going...

1
CALGARY, Alberta - On his way back from a 45 minute morning coffee run with 3 of his production engineering colleagues at Subterra Resources...

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