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Bazooka Rockets Dig Quick, Cheap Oil Wells

1
FT. MCMURRAY, Alberta – The newly incorporated Rocket Pulverized Ground (RPG) Company announced plans to offer a cheap, efficient method of drilling shallow oil...

Technical/Operations

New Spaceplane Service From Calgary to Edmonton Announced

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EDMONTON, Alberta - Bolide Airlines announced today at a press conference that it is placing in service a passenger version of the Boing X-37B unmanned...

Sir William’s History Corner: Obsolete Oil Patch Phrases

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BREA, California – In this installment of History Corner we turn our attention to a few phrases or sayings that were once in common...

Government

Lifestyle

Geology/Geophysics

Problem geologists need help: WOOPS

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EDMONTON, Alberta - In response to the sorry state of affairs in the profession of petroleum geology, the World Organization of Petroleum Societies (WOOPS)...

GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making

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CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been able to find rather strong correlations between various sexual...

Scientists mathematically prove that geologists are absolute idiots

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GENEVA, Switzerland - Scientists at the Fribourg University of Cardinal Knowledge have just proven that geologists (and all other geo"scientists") are complete idiots. This...

Geologist-in-Training launches wrongful dismissal suit

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CALGARY, Alberta - Zeerana Astransy graduated with honors from the University of Alberta in 2012, and quickly made a move to a development role...

NDP to offer Canadian geologists full pension to retire

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OTTAWA, Ontario - Early this morning, at a small video press conference with Premier Notley, the federal and Alberta provincial leaders were proposing ideas on...

Geology-inspired Phi-K Doughnuts coming to downtown Calgary this spring

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CALGARY, Alberta - Calgary is the hotbed for doughnut shops ranging from the basics at Tim Hortons all the way up to the 2nd-tier...

Geologists form independent professional association

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CALGARY, Alberta - A group of 13 geologists in Alberta's largest city have made a stand against the ranks of TCEGWC (or The Collective...

Unemployed Petroleum Professionals Technical Conference coming to Calgary this summer!

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CALGARY, Alberta - The Canadian Society of Unemployed Petroleum Professionals (CSUPP) is hosting its inaugural Technical Conference & Exhibition this summer. The society, whose...

420 MMbbl oil pool discovered in Compton, CA

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LOS ANGELES, California - In a stroke of chemically induced ingenuity, senior geophysicist Smokey Reefer with Oakland-based Vapobong Resources believes he has discovered an...

Geophysicist develops 6th sense for discovering PNG deposits

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ESTEVAN, Saskatchewan - Back in the early history of the PNG industry, oil was literally found by stumbling upon seeps of oil that made...

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2P News Staff

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Most Commented

Dear Andy

Dear Andy: How should I propose to my girlfriend?

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Dear Andy: My name is Peter and I am a geoscientist.  I have spent have the last year of my life with a girl who I...

Environment

PETA calls to put an end to all LNG development

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KITIMAT, British Columbia - PETA is very busy yet again, but instead of lobbying to create a roadside memorial for a number or chickens who tragically lost their...

People's Choice Articles

Scientists invent a process to convert formation water into light oil

3
CALGARY, Alberta - In a remarkable scientific breakthrough, 2 scientists from the research labs at...

GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making

1
CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been...

Geologist finds a strong best fit through an amorphous cloud on poro-perm plot

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CALGARY, Alberta - There is no question that geology is a subjective science that is...

No pipelines, no trains, just Ass

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HARDISTY, Alberta - Pipelines leak.  Got it.  Trains derail.  Got it.  So what is the...

Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons

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CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the...

HR department develops online survey to assess effectiveness of online surveys

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CALGARY, Alberta - The Human Resources department of an intermediate oil and gas producer headquartered...

Former oil company executive relegated to greeter

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CALGARY, Alberta -The ever growing price differential for bitumen continues to squeeze the netbacks for...

Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map

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HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool...

Aliens vs. Geophysicists – Vibratory Revenge: Movie Review

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The Bottom Line This geophyical, sci-fi revenge fantasy thriller fails to deliver on all fronts. Director-Screenwriter Francis Birch Cast Brad...

Anne Hydrite and Ray Tracing – A love story

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Anne Hydrite first laid eyes on Ray Tracing at an oil and gas convention in...

Back in the Day

Engineers. Love ’em or hate ’em, you likely gotta deal with...

2
Engineers. If you live in Calgary, there is a good chance you are an engineer, you are married to an engineer, you work with...

Engineer rearranges contents of dishwasher to optimize dirty dish density

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CALGARY, Alberta - After seeing his visiting mother-in-law load the dishwasher following a rather large Sunday afternoon family dinner, Anton McKnight, a Petrophysical Engineer...

Production tech goes for coffee on the way back from going...

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CALGARY, Alberta - On his way back from a 45 minute morning coffee run with 3 of his production engineering colleagues at Subterra Resources...

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