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The Ecomonist Predicts 2021 Will Suck for the Oil Industry

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LONDON, United Kingdom – London-based daily newspaper and weekly magazine The Ecomonist is predicting that the oil and gas industry faces an uncertain future...

Technical/Operations

Hollimorton Frac Fluid Additive is Chicken Soup

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HOUSTON, Texas - Bowing to overwhelming public, government, and environmental pressure, the venerable oilfield services giant, Hollimorton Oilfield Services Inc., today revealed that the main constituent of...

VP promoted to Senior VP of VPs and reports to Executive...

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CALGARY, Alberta - Harry Chin's career took a significant leap forward when he accepted a promotion from a Vice President's role to a newly...

Government

Lifestyle

Geology/Geophysics

Scientists mathematically prove that geologists are absolute idiots

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GENEVA, Switzerland - Scientists at the Fribourg University of Cardinal Knowledge have just proven that geologists (and all other geo"scientists") are complete idiots. This...

Geophysicist develops 6th sense for discovering PNG deposits

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ESTEVAN, Saskatchewan - Back in the early history of the PNG industry, oil was literally found by stumbling upon seeps of oil that made...

Geologist-in-Training launches wrongful dismissal suit

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CALGARY, Alberta - Zeerana Astransy graduated with honors from the University of Alberta in 2012, and quickly made a move to a development role...

Bedtime Stories for Young Geologists

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CALGARY, Alberta - In these troubled times, many young geologists are experiencing restless nights, worrying about the world, their health and their jobs.  Here...

Crazy Old Fart Reveals Secrets of Seismic Processing

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HOUSTON, Texas - Hazy O’Grady, a semi-retired geophysical consultant, claims that he is one of a handful of people who fully understands seismic processing....

70s Geologist, Debbil Maysong, wants his pencils back

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CALGARY, Alberta - Gates, Jobs, Page, Brin, and Zuckerberg. These people are a quick list of huge success at the hands of computer tech...

Toyota creates Prius Geologist Edition, can’t keep them in stock

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TOYOTA CITY, Japan - The Toyota Motor Corporation announced today that it has released a special Prius Geologist Edition to the North American market,...

Geologists form independent professional association

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CALGARY, Alberta - A group of 13 geologists in Alberta's largest city have made a stand against the ranks of TCEGWC (or The Collective...

Geologists can perform basic arithmetic, study says: ‘We engineers are not the only sophisticated...

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The peanut-shaped brain of a geologist is roughly the size of 2 or 3 medium sized chicken wings. It contains fewer than 1 thousand...

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2P News Staff

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Most Commented

Dear Andy

Dear Andy: I have a crush on a girl from the...

1
Dear Andy: My name is Jason.  I am an analyst at a PeopleMinus in Calgary. I deal with computers and technology all day, so when...

Environment

Lunar warming further evidence that Sun causes global warming: Study

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CALGARY, Alberta - A follow-up to a recent study that attempted to prove that global warming is linked to the Sun, rather than to...

People's Choice Articles

Scientists invent a process to convert formation water into light oil

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CALGARY, Alberta - In a remarkable scientific breakthrough, 2 scientists from the research labs at...

GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making

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CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been...

Geologist finds a strong best fit through an amorphous cloud on poro-perm plot

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CALGARY, Alberta - There is no question that geology is a subjective science that is...

No pipelines, no trains, just Ass

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HARDISTY, Alberta - Pipelines leak.  Got it.  Trains derail.  Got it.  So what is the...

Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons

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CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the...

HR department develops online survey to assess effectiveness of online surveys

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CALGARY, Alberta - The Human Resources department of an intermediate oil and gas producer headquartered...

Former oil company executive relegated to greeter

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CALGARY, Alberta -The ever growing price differential for bitumen continues to squeeze the netbacks for...

Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map

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HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool...

Aliens vs. Geophysicists – Vibratory Revenge: Movie Review

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The Bottom Line This geophyical, sci-fi revenge fantasy thriller fails to deliver on all fronts. Director-Screenwriter Francis Birch Cast Brad...

Anne Hydrite and Ray Tracing – A love story

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Anne Hydrite first laid eyes on Ray Tracing at an oil and gas convention in...

Back in the Day

Engineers. Love ’em or hate ’em, you likely gotta deal with...

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Engineers. If you live in Calgary, there is a good chance you are an engineer, you are married to an engineer, you work with...

Engineer rearranges contents of dishwasher to optimize dirty dish density

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CALGARY, Alberta - After seeing his visiting mother-in-law load the dishwasher following a rather large Sunday afternoon family dinner, Anton McKnight, a Petrophysical Engineer...

Production tech goes for coffee on the way back from going...

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CALGARY, Alberta - On his way back from a 45 minute morning coffee run with 3 of his production engineering colleagues at Subterra Resources...

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