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Alberta creates new Task Force to enforce new COVID-19 restrictions
New task force has mandate to break up large gatherings by all means necessary
Company responsible looking to fill up to 7,000 enforcement...
Technical/Operations
University removes most reservoir engineering equations from courses
CALGARY, Alberta - University of Calgary's Dean of Petroleum Engineering and Sewage Treatment, Dr. Detritus Dumpster, announced this morning that the Petroleum Engineering faculty...
2P News co-founders reject $1.15B offer from Bendovus Energy
CALGARY, Alberta - Breaking news from Canada's oil capital sees Bendovus Energy offer US$1.15B for Calgary-based junior oil and gas news publishing outfit 2pnews.com,...
Lifestyle
Geology/Geophysics
Bendovus Energy Introduces Upscale ‘Free Range’ Barrels
The Disassociated Press - Calgary-based Bendovus Energy has expanded its petroleum portfolio with a more socially-friendly produced free-range version of its existing light and...
Study: Rectilinear contouring eliminates need for geologists
CALGARY, Alberta - Calgary-based Bendovus Energy recently fired all of its geologists when a task force of engineers undertook an informal study that proved...
Breaking News! New seismic wave discovered
CLEVELAND, Ohio - A group of scientists at the Earth Motion Laboratory in Shaker Heights, Ohio announced today the discovery of a new type...
Unemployed Petroleum Professionals Technical Conference coming to Calgary this summer!
CALGARY, Alberta - The Canadian Society of Unemployed Petroleum Professionals (CSUPP) is hosting its inaugural Technical Conference & Exhibition this summer. The society, whose...
Geologists make startling discovery, CBC outraged with denial
CALGARY, Alberta - There is a universal question that most people ask when they meet a geologist. What can you tell me about dinosaurs?...
Toyota creates Prius Geologist Edition, can’t keep them in stock
TOYOTA CITY, Japan - The Toyota Motor Corporation announced today that it has released a special Prius Geologist Edition to the North American market,...
CNAWA reveals climate change truths
Silversmith, Ontario - The Canadian National Association of Wiccans and Astrologists has recently published their in-house newsletter revealing the truth behind climate change and...
University of Eastern Ontario Modernizes Geology and Earth Science Program
TORONTO, Ontario - This morning the University of Eastern Ontario (Eastern) announced the complete and total overhaul of its Earth Science and Geological curriculum,...
Last Two Palynologists Die, Species Declared Extinct
TULSA, Oklahoma - Palynology, the study of contemporary and fossil palynomorphs, including pollen, spores, orbicules, dinocysts, acritarchs, chitinozoans and scolecodonts (whatever the hell all...
Cultural Learnings of Geology for the Glorious Profession of Engineering
Hello all,
In this light-hearted Friday piece, Sir William Shortspeare (who is both an engineer and a geologist), put down on virtual paper some thoughts...
Please watch these videos and share it with everybody you know!
Calgary Weather
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2P News Staff
Most Commented
Dear Andy
Dear Andy: I love my job but hate my boss....
Dear Andy:
My name is Douglas Froob. I have a serious and ongoing problem with my manager at the office. The guys is a complete...
Environment
New target for anti-fracking hysterics created
RIYADH, Saudi Arabia - The World Organization of Petroleum Societies (WOOPS) today announced a new pro-active campaign to counter the anti-fracking hysteria now spreading...
People's Choice Articles
Scientists invent a process to convert formation water into light oil
CALGARY, Alberta - In a remarkable scientific breakthrough, 2 scientists from the research labs at...
GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making
CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been...
Geologist finds a strong best fit through an amorphous cloud on poro-perm plot
CALGARY, Alberta - There is no question that geology is a subjective science that is...
No pipelines, no trains, just Ass
HARDISTY, Alberta - Pipelines leak. Got it. Trains derail. Got it. So what is the...
Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons
CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the...
HR department develops online survey to assess effectiveness of online surveys
CALGARY, Alberta - The Human Resources department of an intermediate oil and gas producer headquartered...
Former oil company executive relegated to greeter
CALGARY, Alberta -The ever growing price differential for bitumen continues to squeeze the netbacks for...
Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map
HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool...
Aliens vs. Geophysicists – Vibratory Revenge: Movie Review
The Bottom Line
This geophyical, sci-fi revenge fantasy thriller fails to deliver on all fronts.
Director-Screenwriter
Francis Birch
Cast
Brad...
Anne Hydrite and Ray Tracing – A love story
Anne Hydrite first laid eyes on Ray Tracing at an oil and gas convention in...
Back in the Day
Engineers. Love ’em or hate ’em, you likely gotta deal with...
Engineers. If you live in Calgary, there is a good chance you are an engineer, you are married to an engineer, you work with...
Engineer rearranges contents of dishwasher to optimize dirty dish density
CALGARY, Alberta - After seeing his visiting mother-in-law load the dishwasher following a rather large Sunday afternoon family dinner, Anton McKnight, a Petrophysical Engineer...
Production tech goes for coffee on the way back from going...
CALGARY, Alberta - On his way back from a 45 minute morning coffee run with 3 of his production engineering colleagues at Subterra Resources...
