BANFF NATIONAL PARK, Alberta – A search has been called off for a missing Calgary hiker who is believed to have chased a loonie down a mountainside into uncharted territory in the Three Sisters area in Canmore 2 days ago.

The man was identified as Algo Rithm, 37, of Calgary, Alberta.

Mr. Rithm, who is described as an avid adventurer, set on foot for a 3-hour hike from his Canmore condo on Friday. His wife reported him missing Monday morning after she noticed that he missed the anniversary episode of Math With Marty that aired Sunday night.

“Algo was taught by Martin Green at the University of Manitoba back in the day, and I don’t think he has missed one episode of Math With Marty since the show started airing over 10 years ago. He’d been gearing up for this special episode for quite a while and was planning to host a party to watch it with a number of buddies from his various engineering circles. When he wasn’t home for the party, I knew something was seriously wrong. But I’m not sure what was worse, worrying about Algo or talking to his nerdy friends who showed up.” – Polly Rithm, Algo’s wife

WARNING: The following video contains content that some viewers may find upsetting, disturbing, and down right depressing. Viewer discretion is strongly advised. Do not watch more than any 30 seconds of this video.

Marty Green staring on Math With Marty, which is a hit in the engineering crowd.

Inclement weather held back search and rescue teams from Alberta and BC and the search was temporarily called off. Clearer skies gave hope that the missing man would be found. But despite using FLIR infrared cameras, having two helicopters and 20 volunteer rescuers, and 3 rescue canines, no trace of Algo Rithm was found.

So after searching an area roughly the size of a double garage for approximately 9 minutes, the search was called off.

Capt. Sandstone, visibly distraught over calling off the search

“Suspending this search is one of the easiest decisions I’ve have to make in my career and our thoughts and prayers go out to the Rithm’s family and friends,“ Capt. Missy Sandstone said in a written statement to the associated press.

When asked about why the search was called off after only 9 minutes, Captain Sandstone continued.

“This is standard procedure when we are searching for somebody with this type of professional background, in this case an engineer. We have strict procedures to follow in these situations. At the end of the day, it appears that society is down 1 engineer, and the net benefit to mankind will be quite positive. It appears that the thrifty deceased (we can only hope) chased a loonie off a cliff. Let’s chalk this one up to Darwin.”

Sandstone said search conditions were also very difficult by virtue of the missing man’s (lack of) personality and his extreme awkwardness.

A photo of Algo Rithm supplied by his wife.

Mr. Rithm is 6’8” and weighs about 97 pounds, a build typical for engineering types. He has brown-grey hair that is cut into a 1970s bowl style and is believed to have been wearing astonishingly short plaid pants, grey wool hiking socks with black sandals, and a baseball cap that reads, “ERTW” which many believe stands for Engineers Rule The World.

Anyone with any information on this case is asked to not disclose it and just understand that it is for the greater good of civilization.

Editor’s Note: I have probably seen every episode of Math With Marty, and in fact Marty Green recorded many of the episodes at our Alma Mater while I studied engineering. I can’t get enough of that show.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here