- Launch of new service marks the beginning of oil and gas industry petty wars
- Geologists appear to be largest user of the new website
July 11, 2025 | CALGARY, AB — 2P News’ Disassociated Press
In a move hailed as both “brilliant” and “a digital HR violation waiting to happen,” a rogue group of former oil and gas engineers has launched a wildly popular new online service: RatePENGs.com, a shameless knock-off of RateMDs – but instead of rating doctors, it allows oil patch veterans to rate engineers they’ve worked with.
The tagline?
Because not all engineers are created equal. Some are barely created at all.
The site, now hosting over 75,000 engineer profiles, from junior process zombies to crusty reservoir overlord, has exploded across the Canadian oil and gas sector like a poorly supervised frac job. With anonymous reviews, star ratings, and a special “Spreadsheet Psychopath” tag, users can finally say what they’ve been screaming into the coffee room for years… publicly, for all to see, at any time, and any where.
Sample Reviews From RatePENGs.com
“Derek ‘The Deck’ M. – Senior Facilities Engineer”
⭐☆☆☆☆
“He built a PowerPoint presentation with 114 slides to explain why we shouldn’t twin a line. Half the slides were animated. I lost my will to live around Slide 27.”
“Gurpreet S. – Reservoir Engineer”
★★☆☆☆
“Once modeled a type curve using data from an entirely different basin. When I called him out, he told me ‘rocks are rocks, BOI.’”
“Tamara H. – Junior Drilling Engineer”
☆☆☆☆☆
“Gave us a drilling prognosis based on her horoscope. Sagittarius was apparently in retrograde, so the intermediate section collapsed. Thanks, astrology bitch.”
“Ron F. – Completions Consultant (retired, sort of)”
★☆☆☆☆
“Arrived at the site drunk, called the frac crew ‘frackin’ millennials,’ and disappeared into the bush to hunt coyotes with a slingshot. Still waiting on his final report. That was 2018.”
Founders Spill the Beans
“We just got sick of pretending that every engineer was a team player,” said co-founder Fillip Tracermeyer, P.Eng., a disgruntled former exploitation engineer turned full-time petty king. “I spent six years working beside a guy who only communicated through sighs, passive-aggressive emails, and unexplained pie charts. I am an engineer, yet I freaking hate engineer sons of bitches… putting this together was therapeutic AF.”
His business partner, Roberto “I’m in a bad mood” Moody, a reformed drilling engineer, added, “We wanted to give people an outlet. And let’s be honest, engineers have been acting like rockstars without fan clubs for decades. Well, welcome to your fan club, assholes.”
Corporate Fallout
Since the site’s launch:
- Over 300 engineers have changed their LinkedIn profile pictures to dogs or inspirational memes to avoid being recognized.
- HR departments across Alberta are scrambling to block the site on office Wi-Fi.
- One engineering manager attempted to sue RatePENGs for “emotional distress,” but his 2-star review noted, “Tried to micromanage the courtroom. Judge gave him a time-out.”
Despite legal threats, the site remains active and is now testing RateGEOs.com, an equally savage platform where engineers, landmen (including the women ones), and anyone with a soul can lay down reviews on geologists.
Early Reviews from RatePGEOs.com
“Kyle D. – Junior Geo”
★★☆☆☆
“Kept naming sand bodies after Marvel characters. We now have a Wolverine channel, an Iron Man lobe, and a Hulk unconformity. Reservoir quality: radioactive.”
“Linda C. – Senior Geologist”
⭐☆☆☆☆
“Told us to drill based on a ‘gut feeling.’ Cost us $18 million. Said the seismic ‘felt off.’ Ma’am, this isn’t a vibe check.”
“Clive – Consulting Geo”
⭐☆☆☆☆
“Only works in black turtlenecks and insists on calling himself ‘The Subsurface Whisperer.’ His map was a crayon sketch of a goat. We still drilled it.”
Coming Soon
The RatePENGs team is considering further expansion with:
- RatePMs.com – Because someone needs to explain why project managers always schedule critical reviews at 4:59 p.m. on Fridays.
- RateVENDs.com – So everyone can finally say what they really think about that one sales rep who shows up with stale donuts and unlimited ego.
Until then, RatePENGs.com continues to thrive, providing a platform for the silent suffering masses of oil and gas to finally speak truth to poorly labeled Excel tabs.
DISCLAIMER: RatePENGs.com is not responsible for ruined careers, broken friendships, or spontaneous office fisticuffs. Use at your own social risk.
Filed Under: #EngineeringEgos #AnonymousOfficeJustice #DigitalSuckerPunch
