EDMONTON, Alberta – The Centre for Analytical New Technology is introducing an undergraduate engineering program next fall to address industry needs.
The 15-year old community college has aligned this new offering with its newly created School of Engineering to cater to the demand of the expanding field of uncivil engineering that is spreading across western Canada. Graduates of the program will earn a Bachelors of Engineering degree with what the school affectionately calls a human touch, that other engineering schools can’t match.
“This is a very exciting, next chapter in C.A.N.T.’s history of offering technical programs at the undergraduate level. This new BS degree is aimed squarely at preparing graduates for careers that require social engineering skills ranging from annoying people to kissing up to the executive chairman. The new program focusses on both the scientific and social sides of engineering. Nowadays, it would appear that the science of engineering is slowly transitioning into a social science, so we’re just following the trend.” – Dr. Perry Meter, Department Head
Instruction in the new programs will begin in Fall 2024 and students who are interested in the new program for Fall 2024 can apply now.
C.A.N.T. faculty members who are implementing and teaching these programs are trained engineers with years of academic and industrial experience. With expertise in the workforce on the upper echelons of being despised, with a sprinkling of technical experience, these faculty members are committed to teaching how to students (and adults) how to apply the softer side of engineering in the workplace to help them get ahead while effectively kicking competition out of the way and stepping over them.
Students will have to earn 153 credits to graduate, and they have four years to do it full-time or up to seven years part-time. A selection of first-year courses for the new Uncivil Engineering degree are listed below.
- CHEM 1101: How to be a Passive-Aggressive Asshole
- ECOR 1045: Visual Communication: Never Make Eye Contact
- ECGS: How to Spot a Geoscientist from 100 Yards Away
- PPMP 2187: Practicing Unprofessionally Under the APEGA Radar
- PPMP 1742: Using ChatGPT 4 to Submit Your Professional Development Hours
- ECOR 3800: Engineering Economics: Getting $8 Coffees Daily without Dropping a Dime
- MAAE 2400: Thermogynamics and Heat Transfer: How to Get in Good on the Down Low with the Summer Intern
- SYSC 3501: Communication Theory: Pretending Your Teammates Don’t Exist
- ELEC 4505: Mechanics of Solids I: Identifying the Best Way to Contaminate Office Coffee
- AACC 2202: Architectural Technology II: How to Build Coworkers Up by Tearing them Down
High school requirements include:
- A demonstrated history of being a bully, especially through the formative years of grades 7 through 9.
- A demonstrated history of having been bullied, through grades 10 to 12.
- Proof that you haven’t engaged in sexual activities… ever, save for auto-stimulation.
Although this program sounds all good and well, it has its opponents. APEGSA, in particular, believes that the new BS degree is not worth the paper on which it is printed. In some ways, the provincial engineering and geoscience regulatory body is wrong since the degree will be issued in electronic format to add to your smartphone’s wallet.
If you are interested in taking this program for the 2024/2025 start, you are encouraged to submit your application before the 01 March 2024 deadline.
It should be noted that another program, very similar to C.A.N.T.’s new social engineering BS degree, will be offered by its sister school, the Centre for Unconventional New Training, starting in fall 2026. The major difference is that the latter program focusses on engineering-related social issues for the (LGBTQ2S+^6)/πx² community.