CALGARY, Alberta – Scientists at the Royal Tyrrell Museum in Drumheller, Alberta, announced the discovery of fossils that prove that certain dinosaurs developed artificial means of escaping large predators. Bicyclopedus schwinni, shown in the photograph above, could outpace almost every other Cretaceous creature. An almost complete skeleton of Bicyclopedus schwinni was uncovered during oil sand mining operations near Ft. McMurray. Specialists from the Royal Tyrrell were immediately dispatched to Ft. McMurray to dig out, clean and assemble the fossil.
Almost immediately palaeontologists at other institutions and universities denounced the find as a fabrication. Said Dr. Wolf J. Flywheel of the University of Krakow, “This is preposterous. How would this thing pedal itself? Where would it get the rubber for the tires?” Dr. Mei Tu of Beijing University chimed in, “This violates our new National Security Law and we are sending police to arrest the entire staff of the Royal Tyrrell. After they are found guilty I expect them to be executed.”
The configuration of the reassembled fossil skeleton does pose some questions. First, is this a dinosaur unto itself or is it one that another dinosaur rode like a horse? Second, the riding dinosaur would have to be two-legged rather than the far more common four legs of herbivorous dinosaurs. The cow-like horns are out of place. Finally, most palaeontologists believe it unlikely that any metal parts would survive the fossilization process.
In a late-breaking development, the Royal Tyrrell announced that evidence has been found of an apex predator that could overtake and devour Bicyclopedus schwinni. This dinosaur has been named Trannysaurus wrecks. An illustration of the beast was furnished to 2P News and it is reproduced below. It shows how Trannysaurus wrecks was able to easily overtake Bicyclopedus schwinni. Perhaps this explains why only one has ever been found.