Sir William Shortspeare, hereditary lord of Bentknee Manor in Slopshire, has over fifty years’ experience at being a devout prig. Staying one step ahead of the nancy boys at Clovenhoof College, he graduated with a degree in Nothing Special. Thus eminently qualified, he joined British Petroleum and was immediately posted to Houston. After enduring one summer of Texas heat, he spent the remainder of his career demanding a transfer. Now retired, he casts a jaundiced eye on the world from Southern California and reports his findings to 2P News.