MONTREAL, Quebec – The province of Quebec has initiated a process in which pipelines through their province will be reversed, flowing back to western Canada.  The provincially approved plan will see all oil and gas lines in the province converted to flow their raw sewage to oil sands mines in Alberta for disposal and treatment.

“We see this as a win win.  The Canadians from the east coast that work in those oilsands mines are used to taking Quebec’s shit already, so this is nothing new.  We can avoid dumping this into our waterways if we ship it back to somewhere no one cares about anyway,  Ft. McMurray.” – Phillippe Couillard

The plan requires almost no capital from the province of Quebec, which is positive, because the province doesn’t have any.  Currently sewage is stored in large open top tanks in cities throughout Quebec, hence the smell.  This project simply requires the hiring of vacuum trucks or gravel trucks to move sewage from storage tanks in Montreal, to the pipeline headers and dumping facilities.  This portion of the project alone would employee at least 2300 unionized Fecal Engineers and Labourers.

“Ouais, je prendrais un de ces boulots. Pas grand-chose d’autre à faire ici à Montréal, donc je suppose que pelleter des visages serait bien pour gagner sa vie. Mieux que de faire quelque chose comme le pétrole et le gaz en Alberta. Cette industrie détruit la terre, au diable avec ça.” – Patrique DeLaMonds

Engineers at the Quebec design firm Flow Tu West, have concluded that the inherent dominance and godliness of Quebec as a society will be enough to move the waste product west, into inferior provinces.  The pipeline design will depend largely on arrogance pumped out of the dwellings in Quebec to send the rest of their french shit west.

Jason Kenny declined to talk to 2P News about the influx of Quebec’s crap, but it was overheard at a lunch table near Kenney’s cousin’s brother’s friend’s seat, that most of the effluent Quebec sends would be used a diluent in heavy bitumen, then sent to the soon-to-be-built crude oil sprinkler systems on the western borders of Quebec.


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