Dodge Hellcat Engine

EDMONTON, Alberta – The 6.2 liter supercharged V-8 engine used in the Dodge Challenger SRT Hellcat and Charger SRT Hellcat makes an impressive 717 horsepower.  An even more powerful “Redeye” version makes 797 horsepower.  This is more than enough power to convert any set of rear tires into puddles of goo.  The engine is also sold as a stand-alone “crate” motor to car customizers and hobbyists with more money than brains.

Bob McKenzie, Idiot

Mr. Bob McKenzie, known to readers of 2P News as a part-time correspondent for the Edmonton Sled Dog Review and for not playing with a full deck, won an engine from a wrecked Challenger in a poker game and decided to adapt it to his vintage Sno-Cat® snowmobile.  To his addled brain, the marriage of Hellcat to Sno-Cat® was a natural.  But what to call it?  He said, “Both names have ‘cat’ in them, eh?  But I couldn’t get any combination to work.  Snohellcat?  Hellcatsno?  I decided to call it Garfield after the cat in the comic strips.”

With the help of mechanic friends who have a three-digit IQ he successfully transplanted the engine into the Sno-Cat®.  To test the contraption he took it out onto the flat surface of a frozen lake.  With an enthusiasm borne of stupidity he gunned the engine and the Sno-Cat® immediately melted its way through the ice.  With a great deal of difficulty the device was retrieved and repaired.  A second test on land had the results seen in the photograph below.

Second Attempt

McKenzie finally concluded that the idea wasn’t feasible.  Furthermore, his doctor reportedly told him that any further injuries to McKenzie would be reported as “self-inflicted.”  Instead, the engine will be installed in his brother Rob McKenzie’s snowtruck.  We at 2P News anticipate results similar to that of Bob McKenzie and we will report the outcome as soon as we hear something on the police scanner.

Rob McKenzie’s Snowtruck


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