OTTAWA, Ontario – A federal election will take place on September 20, 2021, to elect members of the House of Commons to the 44th Canadian Parliament after Governor General Mary Simon dissolved Parliament on August 15, 2021 at Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s request.
Trudeau called the snap election in hopes that he can attain a true majority for his Liberal Party in Parliament and dispense with having to work in a coalition with minor parties. Mr. Trudeau was quite clear in this regard.
“My God, it’s a pain in the butt trying to work with those Bloc Quebecois dolts. I’m surprised they didn’t try to copy the January 6 insurrection in Washington. And the Greens want me to eat a kale salad on national television to show my commitment to whatever the fuck they believe in. Jesus, that stuff ought to be served in Teflon bowls so it will slide out easily when you throw it in the garbage.”
However, recent polls show that Mr. Trudeau may have miscalculated and his party may lose seats.
Single issue parties and other fringes sometimes complicate matters. Did you know that Canada still has a communist party? Our favorite is the Marijuana Party. Guess what their objective is? It is all about legalizing a substance that is already legal. See ya. And let’s not forget about the Ottawa-based Marxist-Leninist Party of Canada, with its leader Anna Di Carlo. Marxist? Really? This is not 1850, Anna. And in keeping with the spirit of 2P News there’s the Rhinoceros Party. However, there is one great advantage to snap elections. The campaigning lasts for only a month. Down south in the USA the
slandering campaigning for the next election begins the day following the last election.
As a proud fake news organization, 2P News strives to maintain an impartial view of national and local politics. That is, we try to make fun of everybody regardless of party. We do it a lot because it’s so easy to do and we’re lazy. We don’t have to put a lot of effort into writing an article about politicians. In Alberta we really miss Rachel Notley, Steady Eddie Stelmach, and of course Alison Redford because they were such slam-dunk targets. Kenney? Not so much (which is open to debate), but still we try.