Welcome to 2P Careers, where our goal is to place qualified oil and gas professionals in available positions where they will thrive. Today’s post is for our client, a Calgary-based intermediate E&P company that operates across Alberta and Saskatchewan, who is looking for a full-time landman/negotiator to join its JV team immediately.
We are looking for a contact title landman local to the Calgary area who is willing to travel to Wainwright, AB, Estevan, SK, and pretty much every small town in between. We want to fill a newly created position, called a Traveling Freehold Door-to-Door Landman, who will be looking to grow our freehold land interests across the basin.
Job Duties and Responsibilities
- To drive across our target areas in basin behind the wheel of a bespoke 1966 Cadillac Eldorado convertible making stops at pretty much every farmer to ask if they are willing to swing a deal on a leasing agreement of their PNG mineral rights.
- If the farmer seems cold to any negotiations, attempt to treat him or her, perhaps the entire family including the dogs, to a steak dinner at the closest 5-star steakhouse to “warm them up.”
- Must maintain a 95% success rate of securing freehold land deals with freehold land owners via any means necessary, just short of not being charged with harassment.
- Establish and maintain effective working relationships with farmers, their delegates, and in rare extenuating circumstances, with farm animals and other wildlife.
Essential Job Skills
- Must have steady fine and gross motor skills and the ability to function with a suitable level of decorum while carrying an 11% blood-alcohol level.
- The ability to party like it’s 1999, in 2022 and beyond.
- Must possess the ability to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing, figuratively, and when required, literally.
- Must we well versed in the science of elevating greasy negotiating practices.
- Be an expert at interpreting negative body language of people in your presence.
- Possess a light touch when applying cologne to your nether regions if required to seal a deal.
- Must be able to detect and exploit the faintest wiff of weakness while negotiating.
- Proficient in the ability to convince somebody to push their grandmother down the stairs to sign a deal that is detrimental to their best interest.
- Must rock a 1970s leisure suit like a champ.
Education and Experience
- 5 to 7 years of direct experience in tricking people into signing contracts.
- Experienced with turning on a computer.
- Diploma in Land Administration from a recognized institution, a reasonable hand-drawn facsimile of one, or a joke cartoon from a pack of Bazooka Joe bubble gum.
- Although no formal education is required, a B.S. from the University of Hard Knocks is preferred.
- Must have a valid Class 7A Swindler Field Ticket.
Please send resumes to email@example.com. Please pass this along to any qualified individual who you think is fit for the position.