CALGARY, Alberta – The supervillain known as the Crimson Ghost has attacked the city government of Calgary using a device known as the Cyclotrode, invented by Dr. Chambers at the University of Alberta. Dr. Chambers’ intent was to provide a shield against attack by atomic bombs. It was immediately stolen by a gang of Crimson Ghost’s henchmen. By widening the signal beam, Crimson Ghost used the device to cut off all electric power to city offices and work sites. This resulted in the complete cessation of all municipal services. However, no ordinary citizens noticed any change except that the Tim Hortons were more jammed with police than usual and ran out of donuts.
Using our underworld connections, we were able to track him down. When interviewed following this embarrassing failure, the Crimson Ghost said, “Well, dammit, I’ll have to pack up everything and try again in Edmonton. Maybe if I destroy provincial government, somebody will notice.” The consensus among the 2P News staff is that it will be as unnoticed as the Calgary attack. When asked why he was doing this, he replied, “I’m a supervillain. That’s the sort of thing I do. When somebody in government finally figures out what is going on, I’ll demand a hefty ransom to restore power. Bwa ha ha!”
Never one to mince words, Andy Killinger said to him, “Hey, dumbass, if you really want to make serious money, take the cyclotrode to Moscow and shut down Putin’s government and war machine. Western governments will pay you billions to accomplish that. You could even get a pardon out of it, if that’s what you want.” He seemed to be intrigued by the idea, even though it meant attacking a fellow supervillain. Time will tell. Meanwhile, new superhero, SuperCanadian, vowed to bring Crimson Ghost to justice. He said, “That’s my girlfriend he’s strangling in the picture above. Only I get to lay a hand or bone on her.”