CALGARY, Alberta – Lowell Pittman, a senior Geological Technologist with Salt Dome Energy, was extraordinarily dissapointed to find that his safe haven on the 23rd floor of his building was occupied, when he needed it more than ever before after a big lunch with the guys where he scarfed down a fully-loaded mondo burrito from Taco Loco’s.

bathroom panic
Lowell Pittman in a panic after finding his safe haven occupied

At only 1:27, I could feel things burbling down below, so I started heading down the stairwell to the 23rd floor. But it wasn’t until I floated a rather nasty and large volume air biscuit in the stairwell did I realize that it was a false alarm. No more than 20 minutes later the pressure came on with a vengeance, in fact, I recall having a little turtle head poking through. So nuts to the stairwell, I jumped in the elevator to 23, entered the code to the men’s changeroom, and turned the handle to my 10′ x 10′ private bathroom, only to find that it was locked. Nooooooooo!!!!

According to Pittman, the private lavatory in this secured changeroom area is considered his safe haven (or Bat Cave, as he calls it),  that he has used on countless other occasions during this 3 years at Salt Dome Energy with no issues. In this particular urgent case for Lowell, he was relegated to using a standard 2-stall bathroom in the building, which was initially empty. But much to Lowell’s misfortune, the empty stall next to him was soon after occupied by colleague  Sam “The Spackler” Strickland, whose episodes on the toilet are known to require building maintanence personnel to help clean up. It turns out that the very scenario of sitting in a stall next to The Spackler is where Lowell’s hopes and dreams go to die.

Here is an artist’s rendition of what Lowell Pittman’s safe haven Bat Cave might look like.

Bat Cave
Artist’s rendition of men’s bathroom that Mr. Pittman believes he uses exclusively.



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