FORT ST. JOHN, British Columbia – Mike Canmoraine is raking in the cash after starting up a new style of ‘portal-potty’ business in remote areas of western Canada. Regulations in Alberta and British Columbia have been in place regarding sewage for many years, but they have recently come into force in the wake of environmental protests. Mike has built a fleet of portable ‘Skitters’ that follow seismic and forestry crews through the bush in case they need to use his facilities.
I thought this was a good way to help out the companies working out there in the bush. My guys drive around in my rigs and then if they are needed, the operators scoot on over to one of my rigs which saves time as the crews don’t need to drive all the way back to town to take a dump.
Under the new regulations, any employee of these companies doing development could be fined up to $250 per incident of #1, and up to $1000 per incident of #2. Mike had heard of this through the local coffee shop, and had also heard about the hiring of several new investigators whose sole purpose was to follow men through the bush and make sure there policies were being adhered to. OGC spokesman Feilma Sackup went on record stating:
We are against any kind of illegal dumping, whether out of a truck, off of a site, or discharged from an anus, penis, or vagina. It all stinks, and it all pollutes. We aim to stop it by any means necessary and the people of this province are behind us 100%.
Mr. Canmoraine has just ordered new vehicles to double the size of his fleet and he expects to be operating nearly 1200 units by early 2014 if manufacturers can keep up with production demand of the specialized rigs pictured below.