WAINRIGHT, Alberta – The Redneck Rotisserie, a quaint little pub nestled in the quiet community of Wainwright, opened its doors at lunch hour earlier this week to highly anticipated fanfare. The eatery’s menu boasts standard fare items including burgers, fries, chicken, with one exception – the Frac Sandwich. In the tradition of small town eateries with huge and strange menu items, the Frac Sandwich has put a new spin on the theme, by making sure no one ever knows what is in it.
The idea was to make a sandwich that we can guarantee is non toxic, tasty, and built for the hard working men, women, and children in our community. It is an acquired taste, and not everyone thinks it is overly healthy, but we can live with that.
We use 5 meat types, 3 cheese related items, 1 vegetable like substance, and 6 sauces. Bear in mind you won’t find most of what we make The Frac with in an ordinary kitchen, or even any kitchen. But it is safe. And if you have the courage to eat one, you might just like it. – Jethro Jamison, owner of The Redneck Rotisserie
In only the restaurant’s first few days, over 2 dozen individuals have eaten the sandwich, and with no ill effects thus far. One man claimed to have a serious case of the runs for an hour, but wrote it off as the result of a night drinking Mescal and spending the night with Tammy, a well known local resident. Opposition has risen from the proprietor of the area MegaFlex Fitness Center however, and he and his members are about to launch a protest in front of the pub this Saturday.
We feel that if they won’t tell us whats in it, it will probably kill us. So take it off the menu! What are you thinking offering up a menu without an ingredients list? Probably using gel sauces and calcium carbonate for crunch, probably even using seal eye juice for a little extra slurp! Indecent bastard, that’s what Jethro is. I’m going to take him down and ruin him for this! – Zak Master, MegaFlex
Mr. Jamison could not be reached for comment due to a busy schedule getting the Redneck Rotisserie ready for upcoming weddings in the fall. So a team from 2P News is planning to travel to Wainwright and try the sandwich as soon as our immunization shots are up to date. We will be recruiting for a taste testing trip and plan to take at least one emergency medical professional with us, in case we get sick from the water.