VIP only Stampede bash revealed

CALGARY, Alberta – The Calgary Stampede is a staple of Albertan and Canadian culture for many, and 2014 will undoubtedly be no exception for The Greatest Outdoor Show on Earth. This year however, a special VIP party has been booked for Thursday July 10th. The party was planned and paid for by Mayor Nenshi and members of Calgary City Council. A closer look suggests it was paid for out of pocket, but an audit has been launched to ensure the cost is not coming out of city coffers.

The event has more than a few special perks for attendees. Those accepting an invite are being treated to private and exclusive C-Train service around the city, free shuttle buses, and priority pedestrian right-of-ways on all Calgary streets. What’s more is that party goers will don a special bracelet that will allow them to consume alcohol in anywhere in the city, including on C-Trains and shuttle buses. There is also a completely furnished condo booked for each family in the East Village so that accommodations will not be an issue.

The party itself is something not yet seen in at a Stampede event. Private reserved rides are available, and are not open to the public for the duration of the party. Bars such as Knoxxxville West and Cowpatties are also being reserved exclusively for party participants and will be closed to the public. All previous booking will be cancelled to make way for the VIP invitees.

The invite list was not formally announced, but by scouring social media for hours this weekend, Yu Mii and Ms. Redbush were able to piece together a list of possible invites and rejects for the shindig. Here is what the 2P reporters have learned:

• Alison Redford is supposed to attend if she can get a reasonable priced charter out of Barbados.
• Rob Ford was originally invited but has since been asked not to come so there is enough beer for everyone else.
• Stephen Harper would love to come, but he’s busy helicopter fishing in Manitoba.
• William Shatner is going to emcee it pro bono (the only way he will receive an invite).
• Danielle Smith will be there, but wants to know what Redford will be wearing so she can pick a better outfit.
• Eugenne Bouchard was a last minute invite, Sandra Jenson really wanted her to feel important after her failed Wimbledon attempt.
• Dru Pharrel wasn’t invited for obvious reasons. We get it. Yay Nenshi!
• John Chu was invited provided his only mode of transport for the entire night was a single-speed fixed hub courier bicycle (wearing no helmet).
• Justin Trudeau begged to be invited, but party planners wanted to limit the number of fights at the venue.
• Thomas Mulclair declined an invite, claiming he has his weekly colonoscopy the following day.
• President Obama wanted to come but could not get permission from Michelle for a “Harper Holiday.” Instead, he’s heading to Russia partridge hunting with Putin.
• Julian de Guzman, the captain of Canada’s Men’s National Soccer team accepted the invite, but only if he could bring the other 23 members of the team. Why? Because they, too, are still reeling over the fact that they are not playing in FIFA’s World Cup 2014 tourney.
• Justin Bieber was invited to open the live music with 6 or 7 seventies-style country ballads, but he rejected the invite stating that he, “doesn’t play that shit.” Also, he is scheduled to appear in a Miami court early the morning after the party.
• Jarome Iginla graciously accepted an invite to the party because he wants to show Calgarians that he is indeed a successful athlete (if you consider Beer Pong and Flippy Cup sports).

Attendance for the event capped out at 500 people, including politicians and Calgary oil and gas executives. With a cost of over $1 million, this should be a record setting party. HAPPY STAMPEDE CALGARY!