CALGARY, Alberta – A lunch hour on a patio of a downtown Calgary pub with a number of Bendovus Energy employees went sideways after the 3 geologists challenged 5 engineers to see which group could drink the most beer and still remain functional in the afternoon. It was only a matter of 15 or 20 minutes into the lunch break when things started to get out of control.

According to eye-witnesses, Janis Flores, a junior production engineer with the company, bailed after the first round because she had a meeting at 1:30. But after the 4th round of a varied selection of ales and lagers, intermediate drilling engineer Darrel Christensen started to get that glazed look in his eyes, at which senior staff geologist Karl Perry was quoted as saying,

beer drinker
Senior Staff Geologist, Karl Perry

“Hey! Look at Darrel, evrybody [sic], he’s about to lose it **burp**, and I’m just getting started over here. Haaa **belch** haha. Barmaid, please bring this young lad some water in a sippy cup.

Those engineering turds think they are the shit, but we just wipe up with them. Heck yeah!!! How about another pint of Pilsner. **buuurrrp**” – Karl Perry, P.Geo.

Stephen Avenue closed circuit security cameras recorded the remaining 4 engineers, fancy suits and all, unconscious on a park bench along Stephen Avenue, as the 3 geologists (who by all accounts consumed more alcohol than the engineers), stumbled back to their offices in the Beau Building.

The 4 remaining engineers from Bendovus Energy out cold on a Stephen Avenue bench. Three of them curled up in various fetal positions.

Even the server at the pub, Crystal McKenzie, knew from the get-go that the engineers were in tough with this challenge.

A pissed off Crystal McKenzie throwing a drink at the geologists

“I’ve seen this time and time again. Engineers come in here thinking that they are God’s gift to the drinking world, and the rock jocks just lay it on ’em.

I’m not sure what those geologists are made out of, but when one of them asked for plastic cups and started rearranging the tables for a game of Flip Cup, I politely threw a drink in his face and called security.” – Crystal McKenzie, server

The patrons at that particular table have been banned from all pubs along Stephen Avenue indefinitely. But according to Bendovus, they plan to appeal this ruling so that they can continue to be drunk pricks along the busy pedestrian mall.


  1. Hello Isabel, so your sister is analyzing these kings of things, huh? With all due respect, what does that mean? Is she studying stuff related to this article? The article is a joke, something pretty silly, so I’m a little lost here. But thanks for the comment.


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