The six-decade-old company continues to defy the retail malaise as consumers in fair-weather market flock to parkas originally designed for the Arctic.

Their new You-Got-Goosed line of parkas are far more expensive than previous models and their logo even harder to miss.

CALGARY, Alberta – Canada Goosed Holdings Inc. stock price jumped the most since it went public last year as better-than-expected results exceeded investors’ lofty expectations coupled with the pending release of a brand new line of parkas for the affluent Calgary market.

The Toronto-based company’s stock jumped 63% to $87.45 as of mid-afternoon Thursday, boosting record gains for the year.

Jim O’Doosh, VP Marketing with Canada Douche

“Our market research conducted over the past 2 years in and around downtown Calgary suggests that larger logos and associated higher price tags are things that our customers are looking for, and we are more than happy to accommodate their needs. Because as they say, the customer is always right. Our Calgary-area clientele made it abundantly clear to us that they want people know they are wearing an expensive jacket.” – Jim O’Doosh, VP Marketing, Canada Douche

Larger logo, new placement

The “You-Got-Goosed” model from the new Super Logo Special line of parkas.

According to the company’s Chief Parka Designer, Timmy Shoe, the upper arm/shoulder area of the parka was not large enough to accommodate new-size logo so it had to be placed on the front and back, as shown below.

“After months of design research, our team concluded that the back of the jacket had the most unobstructed real estate so we figured the logo could go there. As a preview to our next generation of big-logo jackets, we’re currently sketching parkas that have one-of-a-kind 2-piece logo on the front panel that is separated by the zipper. And the results from our arctic research shows that the larger logo actually makes the jacket warmer by breaking the wind and adding an insulative layer with an R3 rating!” – Timmy Shoe, Chief Parka Designer

Read more: Another loser, bearded-hipster spotted wearing a slouch toque and Canada Goosed jacket spotted in Bankers Hall.

Some analysts believe this big-logo idea could backfire considering how in some sectors the appeal of the jacket is waning due to the influx of offshore counterfeit jackets. “The offshore counterfeiters also know how to make big logos, so it will be difficult for Canada Goosed to protect the authenticity of their new big-logo line. I believe the company could benefit from purchasing the knock-offs themselves to cut costs along its production operations seeing as the quality of the offshore coats are equal or better than the locally made ones,” Billy Claycakes with Analytics and Co.

Read more:
Woman wearing a Canada Goosed jacket admits that she does not go on any adventures in the cold.
Read more: Study reveals that Canada Goosed jacket = comfy walk of shame.

Some people aren’t buying it

Skeptical African-Calgarian Reservoir Engineer.

When asked if he would consider purchasing a new You-Got-Goosed parka in the $3750 price point, a skeptical-by-nature Calgary-area reservoir engineer responded by saying, “$3750 for a parka rated to -60C? For the Calgary climate? Are these guys idiots? See this parka I’m wearing… it cost me $70 at Canadian Tire, and that was on sale from $200 – yes, I waited. Sure, it doesn’t have a $4 Canada Goosed patch on the arm but you know what? It keeps me warm.”

Canada Goosed is betting on the idea that people wearing their new line of You-Got-Goosed parkas will continue to act like arrogant, boastful, self-centered, elitist jerks/jerketes (that one’s for you Justin) while wearing their product, and only time will tell that they are 100% correct for the downtown Calgary market.


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