Calgary, Alberta – 2P News principals Dr. Darcy Flowman and Antoine McGuillicudy announced today that their organization will sponsor the first annual Calgary Pinball Championship Tournament. This continues a long tradition of 2P News sponsoring events that entertain and educate the citizens of Calgary. When quizzed on why this event was being planned, Dr. Flowman said, “Since I was a young boy I’ve played the silver ball. From Meander River down to Milk River I must have played them all. You ain’t seen nothing like me in any amusement hall. For a crazy-ass journalist I sure play a mean pinball!”
Completely baffled by this statement, your humble correspondent sought clarification from Antoine and other staff members, but they were of no help at all. I took this to mean that Flowman expects to dominate the tournament and win the promised trophy and prize money. An entry fee will be charged to fund the prize money. A venue for the tournament has yet to be selected but there are several possibilities. The trick is finding one with enough vintage machines to accommodate the expected crowd. Players are likely to come from all over North America.
Meanwhile, Flowman blathered on, saying, “I stand there like a statue and become part of the machine. Feeling all the bumpers and always playing clean. I play by intuition, the digit counters fall. For a crazy-ass journalist I sure play a mean pinball.” He was on a roll so all I could do was stand back and let him vent.
“Ain’t got no distractions, can’t hear no buzzes and bells. Don’t see no lights a-flashin’, play by sense of smell. Always get the replay, you’ll never seen me fall. For a crazy-ass journalist I sure play a mean pinball.”
At this point I said enough was enough and terminated the interview. The tournament is scheduled for some time in the spring of 2023. A final note: Andy Killinger said, “Flowman thinks he’s such a pinball wizard, but I’ll wipe the floor with him. My first hustle was taking quarters from other kids playing pinball.”