2019 Calgary Stampede Freak Show

CALGARY, Alberta – At this year’s rendition of the Greatest Show on Earth, Calgary Stampede organizers are teaming up with the Association of Under- and Unemployed Oil and Gas Workers of Alberta (AUUOGWA) to capitalize on the extreme and bizarre to help turn a profit in the Midway.

So, move over “The Four-Legged Girl” and “The Dog-Faced Boy,” you’ve got nothing on some of the freaks that the Stampede plans to show in 2019!

This year, a brand new Freak Show tent, which is actually a series of decommissioned wellsite trailers daisy-chained together, will feature oil and gas professionals with physical and behavioral characteristics that nobody ever thought could be possible, but are.

A Geologist with a High IQ
“What type of sorcery is this?” is what most visitors will ask about this long-bearded fella. A former exploration geologist for Crashent Point Energy, Jesse Wilkinson lost her job in early 2015 and has been greeting customers at a local Home Depot where she upped her IQ points over the years. She now knows how to compute simple math such as, “Oh, you can find hammers in isle 17, which is 3 isles down from isle 1 where we are now.

The Engineer with Feelings
This one is a little deceiving, because just like the famous man-eating-chicken, not to be confused with a man eating chicken, this freak is a bit of a ploy to get you into the trailer. Mike North, an unemployed reservoir simulation engineer who was packaged out from PeopleMinus in Q1 2017, sits on a chair with a bag labelled feelings – so it’s a trick. Actually, it is marked feeling because we all know that at the very best an engineer will have only 1. Visitors are cautioned to not get too close as Mike is used to being locked in a dark office and fed food under the door.

The Sober Landman
If there’s one thing that everybody in the industry knows, it’s that landmen like to drink as they entertain fellow landmen as they negotiate deals. In fact, it is very, very seldom that anybody, anywhere sees a landman who is sober, and this is exactly what this freak exhibit exhibits. Susan Winters, former professional landman has bene sober since July 2016 after being shown the door from Buy Me Out Resources, thanks in large part to no longer having an expense account.

So there you have it, folks! Don’t forget to take in this brand new O&G Professionals Freak Show when you visit the Stampede grounds this year.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here