FAIRBANKS, Alaska – An Alaskan bush pilot, Capt. Joseph Crater, spotted what appeared to be an airplane crash in the Crazy Mountains [This is their real name – Ed.], about 95 miles outside of Fairbanks. State police were notified and they determined the debris field was possibly an aircraft. The Federal Aviation Administration was brought into the investigation and a National Transportation Safety Board crash team from Anchorage was dispatched by helicopter to the location.
Upon close examination, it seems that the aircraft was constructed of tiny interlocking bricks. No adhesive was apparently used so the mechanical strength of the craft was minimal. One member of the team, Dr. Hyurn A. Kite, professor of aeronautical engineering at the University of Alaska, examined the wreckage and exclaimed, “This thing has the aerodynamics of a cement block. No wonder it crashed. Who was stupid enough to pilot this piece of shit? The designer must moonlight at a toy company.”
Photographs of re-creation of the downed craft were publicized on national news programs and literally millions of people instantly recognized it as a possible new batplane. Social media exploded. However, neither Batman nor Robin could be reached for comment or confirmation since they’re not real people.
Aviation historian Orville Wilbur noted that, “The first batplane was odd-looking due to the scalloping on the wings and tail to simulate a bat but it was capable of flying. The second generation jet batplane was far more streamlined and aerodynamically sound. This latest generation is a disaster. Perhaps Batman is running out of money. Also, it’s damned near impossible to develop a new aircraft in secret. Most likely that is why test flights were conducted in a remote area of Alaska.”
No trace of a pilot was found. It’s possible the aircraft was operated by remote control. This would have been a wise move considering the fragility of the device. 2P News will report any new developments as soon as they develop.