Once upon a time, there was a young engineer named Jacob. He had a love affair with mathematics and numbers, but most of all, with his trusty calculator, a 1997 Hewlett Packard 48GX with 128MB memory expansion card slot. It was a sleek and modern device, with buttons that clicked satisfyingly beneath his fingers.

Jacob would spend hours lost in calculations, solving complex equations, and exploring the beauty of mathematical patterns. He loved the way numbers fit together, like puzzle pieces, forming elegant solutions to real-world problems, such as trying to calculate to within 3 decimal places, the probability that he would get some triangle on a given weekend.

And then one day, as he was working on a particularly difficult project, his calculator suddenly shut off. Jacob’s heart sank, he was crestfallen, he didn’t know what to do. He had never been separated from his beloved device for more than a few minutes, and the thought of losing it forever filled him with deep, deep despair.

He frantically searched for the source of the problem, fiddling with the batteries and trying different outlets, but to no avail. Just when he was about to give up, he discovered a loose connection in the calculator’s wiring. With a sigh of relief, he carefully fixed the issue and turned the calculator back on.

From that day forward, Jacob cherished his calculator even more. He realized that the true beauty of mathematics and engineering wasn’t just in the numbers themselves, but in the problem-solving and critical thinking required to solve complex equations. And with his calculator by his side, Jacob felt confident in his ability to tackle any challenge that came his way. And as it turns out, his calculator was also his protector, his guardian angel. Positioned in his left shirt pocket, and being so robust, it would do more damage to his coworker’s fists then his chest when they bullied him in the office.

Years passed, and Jacob went on to achieve great things in his field. But no matter how many accolades he received, he never forgot the love affair that started it all – his passion for math and the trusty calculator that helped him along the way. Until one day, when he was given an ultimatum by a girl he liked who said, “It’s gotta be me or that 48GX, because there ain’t enough room in your life for the two of us.” Jacob looked her in the eyes, looked at the 48, back to her, then turned away for a few seconds, and said to her, “Stacey, do you know what I’ve never like about you? The fact that you are very…” <then he showed her his calculator with the following being displayed on it>

The RCMP continue to search for the rest of Jacob’s remains.


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