The Association of Professional Ethanol Consumers of Alberta (APECA) is proud to present the 2013 Unconventional Ethanol Side Effects technical conference.

Date: November 3rd and 4th, 2013
Time: Doors open at 11h30 for Networking Luncheon
Presentations: See below for details
Cost: Complimentary for APECA Members in good standing for 2013
Location: Bairdmore Hotel, Centre St and Centre Avenue, Downtown Calgary


This 2-day inaugural event will cover the following topics:

  • A New Method for Estimating PseudoTime to Unconsciousness Using Classical Excessive Ethanol Consumption Nausea Forecasts
  • Development of a New and Improved Tippy Cup Optimization Technique: The Zero Slope Two-Finger Flip Tip
  • Dimensionless Beer Pong Strategies: Challenges and Innovations
  • Reducing Alcohol Blood Ratio (ABR) by Increasing Water Ingestion Rate: A Study in Logic and Common Sense
  • History Matching Last Night’s Performance and Events Using the Retardo & Geezler Correlation
  • Fractional Flow of Vomit in an Unsuitable Basin System: A Case Study in Missing the Target
  • Analyzing Unconventional Gas Production from the Lower Bowels Formation using the Stimulated Heterogeneous Internal Turbulence (SHIT) Method
  • Evaluating the Effective Permeability of Urine Front Propagation through Porous Denim Media in the Front of Your Pants
  • A Review of Corporate Intoxication in the Workplace:  The Pres does it, Can You?
  • Glitter Economics and the Dangers of the Champagne Room
  • Coping with Trauma: Post Binge Spooning with Friends, You Can Deal With it!
  • The Effect of Excessive Alcohol Consumption on Operating Preschoolers’ Bicycles and Tricycles Downhill While Dodging Flying Objects: A Review of Historical Performance by Renard Howard, et. al.

Sign up today and receive a complimentary 24oz steiner.

Here is just an example of how technical this technical conference will be. The following picture depicts some of the mathematics that went bending creating the conference’s outline.

Very technical formulas that are sure to dazzle attendees.


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