Prototype micro brewery machine built in a garage

MONTREAL, Quebec – Pierre Francais-Allemagne, President and CEO of Moosepeace Beer of Hudson’s Bay, today announced the formation of a new subsidiary to manufacture and market a proprietary formulation of drilling mud for the oil and gas industry. “It will revolutionize the industry” claimed Monsieur Francais-Allemagne, “And it will make me a shitload of francs, uh, make that dollars.”

When quizzed how the new product was developed, he admitted that it was through serendipity.

The brewmaster at Moosepeace, Froggy D. Gremlin, chimed in and said,

Froggy D. Gremlin, PE

We were experimenting with a escargot-flavored beer but even we couldn’t stand it. We had 50,000 gallons of the stuff because we were so sure it would work and had to find a way to get rid of it.

We loaded it all into tanker trucks with the intent of dumping it into nearest river, but then we spotted a drilling rig that was shut down because it was Canada Day (something we Quebectonians don’t celebrate). There were a bunch of empty Baker tanks at the location so we just pumped it all into them.

Mr. Gremlin continued, “Several days later we were tracked down by a representative of the drilling company and told that the snail beer was used to mix up a fresh batch of mud. The rate of penetration doubled and they wanted to know if we had any more.”

Plot showing the improved ROP with the new drilling mud (red line)

“We began experimenting and found that by adding raw sewage from the Moulin-Rouge de Montreal the ROP was doubled yet again. That’s when we knew we had a gold mine.”

When asked how the concoction worked, Gremlin replied, “As best we can tell, the rock simply flees in terror.”

A sample was then displayed to the assembled reporters, including 2P News’ own steel-stomached Rodecker Smith, but most promptly passed out. When quizzed by a semi-conscious reporter about the god-awful smell, Francais-Allemagne responded, “What smell?”

<This article was submitted by our friend from SoCal. Thanks BP!>


  1. I used to work at the Moulin-Rouge de Montreal. The active ingredient in its sewage is probably all the talcum powder used in place of bathing.


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