CALGARY, Alberta – Darden Pincotte, Chief Executive Officer and primary share holder of CanaMurican Resources was flown to Edmonton University Hospital after being violently assaulted on a drilling location in northern Alberta.

The oil magnate was participating in a reality television show similar to Undercover Boss, when the staff on location apparently turned on him and left him clinging to his pride as he was whisked away by a security team from Calgary.

Pincotte  after his beating
Pincotte after his beating

We were called to retrieve Mr. Pincotte from a very tense situation.  While it appears the assault was largely verbal and emotional, Mr. Pincotte did suffer scratches and bruises from his work tour on Endine Drilling 12D.  He is currently being treated for psychological trauma and it is not known at this time if he will fully recover. – Dr. Madrents, Mr. Pincotte’s personal physician

The show was being filmed by hidden camera and the staff on location had no idea what was occurring.  In the run of the mill show, Pincotte was to get hired as a new trainee and see first hand how the conditions were out at the location that made him his millions.

While the staff insists they treated him as they did every new hire, film footage has been sent to the courts for a decision if the treatment was really that bad, or if Pincotte was simply a soft hearted simpleton with a soft boiled egg for an ego, like so many of the industry’s leaders.

Endine 12D Crew hard at work
Endine 12D Crew hard at work

We didn’t beat him or nothin’.  We treated him like everyone else.  Hey Worm, go get that bag of Calcarb, bring me a logging stick, go find the key to the vee door.  Get my coffee, scrub that floor, paint that rail.  Nothin’ out of the ordinary.  If he can’t handle it he has no business running an oil company.  – Darssee Johnstown, Driller Endine 12D

Management at Endine Drilling was hesitant to comment, but largely sided with its staff.  Claiming the industry needs hard workers with a thick skin to endure the rigorous work and demanding schedule.  While they do not endorse the abuse Pincotte reportedly endured, it is obvious that he was simply not cut out for the job he was pretending to do.

Randy Broadiron, CADOCA Representative and Union Rep
Randy Broadiron, CADOCA Representative and Union Rep

The oil and gas industry is a tough business.  There is no room for soft, liberal, lovey dove smoochy woochie huggy buggy people out there, or in the office for that matter.  We get a plan and get it done.  Simple.  If these office types are too soft for the field then maybe they need to reconsider their jobs and move back to Toronto and practice real estate law or book keeping for pet salons. – Randy Broadiron, CADOCA Representative, Calgary


  1. Randy Broadiron is one of those that thinks ignorance is bliss. I’ve worked in the oil and gas industry for 35+ years in various capacities, so I believe I am also qualified to speak on this. I agree that the industry isn’t for the thin skinned or weak at heart, but a physical assault has no place in any industry. I wasn’t there to see what actually took place, but a physical assault simply cannot be defended. I don’t normally judge a book by its cover, but I will make an exception in Mr. Broadiron’s case. At first glance he looks like a paper pusher himself who probably couldn’t cut it out in the field himself. They are usually the first ones to pipe up and give their two cents worth. The CADOCA may want to look into just who and what Mr,Broadiron is if he honestly believes physical assaults are part and parcel of the oil and gas industry.

  2. Thanks for commenting, Rick, and we here at 2P News appreciate your sincere concerns. But we kindly ask you to redirect your sincere concerns to matters that mean something. The articles here are satire. These people do not exist, we’re just having some fun. Cheers, man.


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