Hugh G. Waeldyck
Tomas D’Ardeen, Dalila Francesco, Dowarri Franghontom, Ghandaria Hendtrolio, Gregory Arch’Ka, and Steve.
Hard days. That’s the truth of struggling to be successful in oil and gas in 2019. As a hot shot driver and entrepreneur, Max Crude turned blood and sweat into a thriving business with more than 4 employees. As his wealth grew it allowed him to travel abroad seeking the ultimate adventure. And when he found it, he dominated it, and became, Max Crude, Dolphin Hunter.
Max Crude, whose given name is Trevor Randall, was born and raised in Alberta, somewhere in the hills west of Red Deer. Not a very colourful character in his youth, he dropped out of school at 7 years old and worked the family farm until he started on the rigs at 15. After a couple years he began to crave the excitement of hotshot driving and started his own business with his dad’s dually and an old rusty gooseneck he got from a guy in Caroline. Working his way up to 4 used trucks and 1 new one, he again branched out into well servicing and fence repair. At the age of 42, he needed more of a challenge. After a vacation to Thailand with his fourth wife and step kids, he’d heard rumours of the most elusive hunt offered anywhere in the world. A dolphin safari off the coast of North Korea. Many years later, he’d more than earned the legendary title of the worlds most dangerous dolphin hunter, and rise to glory demands to be told on a big screen in all its splendour.
“I wasn’t sure what this film would be. Many people don’t understand oil and gas, let alone the ultimate allure of dolphin hunting. It took us a while to find the angles we needed and the story we wanted that the movie could tell. I think the audience will be pleasantly surprised at the final film” – Huge G.
Well, we took the 2P News staff to see the premier at the old bowling alley off 34th avenue for the premier showing. The audience was a surprising mix of employed, unemployed, drunk, sober, and high oil and gas professionals with some artsy fartsy types mixed in for credibility.
The movie opens with a 23-minute shot of a drilling rig somewhere in the foothills drilling at what must be 3m/hr, but the cinematography was superb! From that stellar shit shot, we learn about a backwoods hillbilly grade school dropout that made it “big” by stealing his daddy’s square body and running alcohol and strippers to the rigs for a few years. After what seems like 3 hours, because it was, this dip shit starts strangle-hunting dolphins with Kim Dol Fin, North Korean national with a coastal dolphin breeding farm and a penchant for flipper rubs. Couldn’t just shoot poor Flipper, these idiots made a sport of wet wrestling the slippery mammals and choking them out while acting like WWF wrestlers. At one point Max even wore a Hulk Hogan t-shirt while deep sixxing a bottle nose.
So what the hell is this movie exactly? Pretty sure 4 guys got bored and made all this shit up to sell tickets to their shitty bowling alley beer gardens for Stampede. And it worked. We drank a lot of alcohol, watched the movie with half-assed focus, and ended up being arrested for trying to steal a dolphin form the Calgary Zoo. And they do not have dolphins, so don’t ask us what the hell it was, we don’t remember.
2P News gives this movie 4.5 out of 5 pints just for being made and getting us out of the house to a good old Stampede Party like we remember from before some moron in Wuhan ended the world for us.