CALGARY, Alberta – The massive brain trust that is 2P News has come up with a new way to scam serve our readership. So, without further ado, we proudly introduce Looniecoin. There may be some confusion with the Canadian one-dollar coin commonly called the loonie and that is entirely intentional. Lots of people will be stupid enough to believe that Looniecoin is something real backed by the government. There has been much confusion and precious little understanding of the new forms of nothingness called cryptocurrency and its underlying principle called blockchain.
Here’s what Wikipedia has to say about blockchains:
A blockchain is a growing list of records, called blocks, that are linked together using cryptography. Each block contains a cryptographic hash of the previous block, a timestamp and transaction data (generally represented as a Merkle tree). The timestamp proves that the transaction data existed when the block was published in order to get into its hash. As blocks each contain information about the block previous to it, they form a chain, with each additional block reinforcing the ones before it. Therefore, blockchains are resistant to modification of their data because once recorded, the data in any given block cannot be altered retroactively without altering all subsequent blocks.
Blockchains are typically managed by a peer-to-peer network for use as a publicly distributed ledger, where nodes collectively adhere to a protocol to communicate and validate new blocks. Although blockchain records are not unalterable as forks are possible, blockchains may be considered secure by design and exemplify a distributed computing system with high Byzantine fault tolerance.
Only the geekiest computer geeks would understand any of that. However, our resident expert on criminal behavior, Andy Killinger, says he can simplify matters to the point where even Darcy and Antoine will get it. He said, “It’s pretty simple. A few people will get fabulously rich and everybody else will lose their asses. I have to admit it, as scams go this one is a doozy. That’s all I’m going to say because I intend to be among the few.”
How can you get in on the ground floor of this amazing opportunity? Put all your coin and paper money in a box and drop it off at our office. We promise to send you an email telling you how much Looniecoin you just bought.