CALGARY, Alberta – One of the few common interests around the 2P News office is a love of Japanese monster movies. We actually got into a halfway serious debate over who would win in a fight between Godzilla and Gamera. Too bad it will never be resolved because they’re made by different studios. There’s been talk of a duet, but so far, they haven’t been able to make a deal. Now just about everybody is familiar with the many iterations of Godzilla, but Gamera is less well known. He’s a giant turtle who breathes fire and can fly by pulling his arms and legs into his shell, shooting flame out of the holes like jet engines and taking off spinning like a frisbee. I hate to say it, but Gamera is pretty much just a knock-off of Godzilla. Both started out as bad guy monsters who were stirred up by a nuclear explosion and proceeded to destroy Tokyo just for the hell of it. Why they picked on Tokyo is a mystery. Wouldn’t it have been cool for them to attack North Korea or China? In later movies they turned into good guys who save Earth from other, nastier monsters but still destroy Tokyo in the process. Here’s how they stack up, original Godzilla versus original Gamera:
Body Shape Biped Dinosaur Turtle with Fangs
Height 300’ Ft. 260’ Ft. (Upright)
Weight 5,000 Tons 4,000 Tons
Weapons Radioactive Fire Ordinary Fire Breath,
Breath, Stomping Stomping
Vulnerability Oxygen Destroyer Subzero Cold
Best Friend Fat Asian Kid Fat Asian Kid
Mode of Travel Walks, Swims Crawls, Walks, Flies
Hobby Frying Tokyo Broiling Tokyo
As you can see, they’re pretty evenly matched, except Godzilla’s breath is more powerful whereas Gamera can move around a lot faster. My money’s on Godzilla because he’s had a lot more experience fighting other monsters (e.g., Rodan, Mothra, Anguirus, Ghidrah, even King Kong) and his radioactive fire breath does a better job of destroying Tokyo.
P. S. The Japanese army must be full of really lousy marksmen. Whenever they shoot rockets and artillery at a monster there are explosions all around it but precious few actually connect. Maybe that’s why they lost WW II.