Tokyo Destroyed for the Umpteenth Time
Godzilla, King of the Monsters

CALGARY, Alberta – One of the few common interests around the 2P News office is a love of Japanese monster movies.  We actually got into a halfway serious debate over who would win in a fight between Godzilla and Gamera.  Too bad it will never be resolved because they’re made by different studios.  There’s been talk of a duet, but so far, they haven’t been able to make a deal.  Now just about everybody is familiar with the many iterations of Godzilla, but Gamera is less well known.  He’s a giant turtle who breathes fire and can fly by pulling his arms and legs into his shell, shooting flame out of the holes like jet engines and taking off spinning like a frisbee.  I hate to say it, but Gamera is pretty much just a knock-off of Godzilla.  Both started out as bad guy monsters who were stirred up by a nuclear explosion and proceeded to destroy Tokyo just for the hell of it.  Why they picked on Tokyo is a mystery.  Wouldn’t it have been cool for them to attack North Korea or China?  In later movies they turned into good guys who save Earth from other, nastier monsters but still destroy Tokyo in the process.  Here’s how they stack up, original Godzilla versus original Gamera:


Godzilla                               Gamera

Body Shape                            Biped Dinosaur                     Turtle with Fangs

Height                                    300’ Ft.                               260’ Ft. (Upright)

Weight                                   5,000 Tons                          4,000 Tons

Weapons                                Radioactive Fire                   Ordinary Fire Breath,

       Breath, Stomping                 Stomping

Vulnerability                           Oxygen Destroyer               Subzero Cold

Best Friend                            Fat Asian Kid                      Fat Asian Kid

Mode of Travel                       Walks, Swims                     Crawls, Walks, Flies

Hobby                                   Frying Tokyo                      Broiling Tokyo


As you can see, they’re pretty evenly matched, except Godzilla’s breath is more powerful whereas Gamera can move around a lot faster.  My money’s on Godzilla because he’s had a lot more experience fighting other monsters (e.g., Rodan, Mothra, Anguirus, Ghidrah, even King Kong) and his radioactive fire breath does a better job of destroying Tokyo.

P. S.  The Japanese army must be full of really lousy marksmen. Whenever they shoot rockets and artillery at a monster there are explosions all around it but precious few actually connect.  Maybe that’s why they lost WW II.



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