Run! Hide!

CALGARY, Alberta – In a situation reminiscent of a 1950’s science fiction horror movie, reports are reaching 2P News that a monstrous creature is prowling the forests near Calgary.  And no, it’s not Bigfoot.  To date, no one has been able to photograph the beast and only the sketch shown above is available for publication.  It has the appearance of a mash-up of a moose and a werewolf.  One can only wonder what are the practical applications of antlers on a wolf.

Dr. Feng

Its origin has been shrouded in mystery…until now.  Your humble correspondent has discovered that a prototypical mad scientist named Professor Fēng Kuáng De Mǔ Jī, (literally translatable to “Crazy Motherf**ker”), formerly of Wuhan University in China, is responsible for creating the wolf-moose hybrid and other exotic, improbable creatures.  Dr. Fēng was dismissed from his research position at Wuhan for unauthorized experimentation with CRISPR-Cas9 (clustered regularly interspaced short palindromic repeats-CRISPR-associated protein 9).  He found it amusing to combine DNA from wildly divergent species and see how it turned out.  He emigrated to Vancouver, BC and set up shop at the Eugenics Research Consortium (ERC), a shadowy group of genetic researchers.

Gorilla-Rhino Hybrid

When contacted by 2P News, ERC would only say that Dr. Fēng was under contract to ERC and was working for the betterment of mankind.  What he did on his on time and for his own amusement was his business.  It is rumoured that he has created a human-gorilla-rhinoceros hybrid for the Canadian Armed Forces that can absorb multiple gunshot wounds and still rip the heads off enemy soldiers.  As you may expect, this is shrouded in secrecy and our usual government sources are completely silent.

At my request Andy Killinger hacked into the ERC server and downloaded whatever pictures he could find.  At least that’s what he told me.  Here below are what may be two of Dr. Fēng’s other hybrid creations.  He seems rather fixated on moose.


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