CALGARY, Alberta – Dr. Deenah Heehaw, Alberta’s Chief Medical Officer of Health. What a woman. What a doctor. What she has been through for almost 2 years now helping our dear province manage its way through this pandemic is nothing short of astounding. Whether she is battling things out with the Health Minister and the Honourable Kason Jenney, or spending sleepless nights trying to figure out what’s best for Albertans when it comes to their best health interests, one thing is for sure: she’s being run ragged, and that manifests itself in how her hair looks.
And because we here at 2P News have nothing but love for Dr. Heehaw, we are launching a campaign called, “Deenah, do a new do!” where our goal is to have the general public vote on what new hairstyle we think will bring that pep back in her step and help boost her self-confidence in the hair department. To this end, we have cooked up a number of proposed hairstyles for you to consider.
Here what you do: 1) have a look at the hairdos, 2) vote your favourite one the poll below. That’s it. So simple even our on staff professional geologist can do it. We will then fire the poll results directly to Deens to see if she is willing to make a change based on recommendations from her loving fans! Without further hairdo (very sorry about that one), we now present our proposed hair ideas!
1 – The Oh-No Afro
Shirley from What’s Happening?!! has NOTHING on Deenah in this hairdo inspired by the hit late 1970s sitcom. She can stand very proudly in solidarity with the black lives matter movement with this coif. Stick a pick in it and she’s ready to join the Black Panthers. What do we here at 2P think of this one? It’s Dynomite!
2 – The Bieber-Gondie
If Justin Bieber and Mayor Gondek had a kid, this is what it would look like (yikes!). Here Deenah is sporting the classic Bieber Flip and Switch do, with side-swept bangs that end about an inch past where the Beatles snipped theirs off.
3 – Tall Blonde Roasted
Here Deens is sporting a classic long blonde do with natural brown roots growing in. Much like the brand of coffee that this hairdo is named after, Dr. Heehaw looks looks a little bitter and over-roasted. We like this look. It gives the COVID warrior princess a strikingly beautiful, yet understated, vibe that says, “Stay the hell away from me!”
4 – Red Red Whine
Who says blondes have all the fun?! Heehaw screams fun with this vivacious, fiery, hairdo of pencil straight red hair down to her gluteus maximus. There’s room to incorporate some pinkish highlights into this crimson tide for a simple and classy two-toned look that will have her ready to whine to the powers that be to implement her COVID health mandates.
5 – The KD Langer
With this look that shows her staunch support for the LGBTQ2+ community, Deena adds texture and choppy ends to bangs that are swooshed straight up into the air – much like many of her COVID recommendations were by Shyler Tandro. Rocking this style, expect to see Deenah grace the front cover of GQ before the 6th wave kicks in!
6 – Little Bo Sheep
Sure, this criss-cross braid looks complicated, but difficulties melt away for Deenah as embraces her inner farm girl with these full-bodied braids made popular by Kim Kardashian. Although the glasses screen nerd, these pig tails give a little bit of a naughty vibe to the otherwise monotonic, robotic Chief Medical Officer.
7 – Dr. Karen Heehaw?
This inverted asymmetric bob, aka a lob, is known as an A-line cut. But when applied to Heehaw, it should be called a B-line cut because even her husband of 35 years will head for the hills when he sees this one. But how appropriate is this cut for her seeing how much she’s been complaining about Jenney and Tandro over the last 2 years.
So there you have it. It’s voting time. Have fun!