New product is the long-term solution to this age-old problem.

SARNIA, Ontario – The Disassociated Press: PetroChema, one of Canada’s largest pertrochemical manufacturers, has developed a new drinkable deodorant dubbed DrinkOdorant©.  The brainchild of Phillip Stankmore and Rosey Pitripe, DrinkOdorant© was developed to achieve up to 30-day protection from sweating by ingesting a chemical solution refined from oil and gas.  The product was also developed to provide deodorizing properties to the armpits, groin, lower foot, and earlobes.

Initial tests on laboratory volunteers showed amazing results.  DrinkOdorant© kept 78% of the test subjects fresh and dry, while the other 22% suffered minor complications and side effects.  Of the 78% that enjoyed a successful refreshment for more than 20 days, several subjects did experience mild rashes and taint swelling that lasted a few days to a week before clearing up completely.  There were no fatalities other than 12 COVID-related deaths within the subject group, but they were deemed not related to DrinkOdorant©. 2P News’ Yu Mii spoke with Mr. Stankmore this morning.

Phillip Stankmore, PetroChema co-founder and CTO

“The formula for DrinkOdorant© is of course proprietary, but several of the base compounds were mentioned in early documentation as heavy crude Dilbit, ammonia, condensate, and liquified propane.  At first impression it seems quite toxic, but I can assure you we have added other compounds and molecules that make it quite safe for consumption by most people.  We’ve even added some essential oils like lemongrass and coriander to make it more natural.” – P.Stankmore, Md.Sci. Chem. Bio

Health Canada has approved DrinkOdorant© for mandated Phase 2 trials in Quebec.  This new style of testing requires 50% participation of a given population to be part of a product testing group, or pay a fine and face possible prison time for non-compliance.

If Phase 2 trials report a 60% or higher success rate, with severe side effects or fatalities less than 20% pf the subject group, the testing will move to widespread experimental retail distribution in Quebec and Ontario.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here