HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) – Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool Resources, inadvertently stumbled across a potential new type of resource play while fooling around with geology as his geoscience team was away on a field trip. Johan had been experimenting with stratigraphic cross sections and structural maps when he made a startling discovery.
If the contour lines on my net pay map cross each other, there must be a negative net pay interval. Through some calculations dealing with physics and 4 dimensional space-time continuums with a bit of quantum electrodynamics thrown in (Editor: concepts that only engineers and Comic Con attendees could possibly understand), I figured that this must mean that there is a potential to drill into oil pools in other dimensions within these areas of Neg Pay, as I have coined this phenomenon.
At first look, it would appear that Mr. Fabroni has lost his mind, but Johan cites the theory of Occam’s Razor to defend his Neg Pay concept, as he continues:
If the isopach lines can cross on my map, then the simplest explanation is that they can also be crossed in nature, which can only be explained as Negative Pay.
After a series of E.D.O., R.T.D., C.P.O., K.L.Y.H.N.O.U.G., and D.H.G.A meetings, approval was finally granted for Johan to drill a well into this Neg Pay and see if he could prove-up the potential of such formations. Although the geoscience team at Drypool Resources was initially reluctant to adopt the Neg Pay theory, they were willing to give the idea a chance – provided their names were not on any AFEs related to drilling, completing, equiping, or tying in this wildcat well. Junior Sr. Executive VP of Exploratory Activities gave a press conference shortly before drilling commenced and was quoted as saying:
I have faith that we will prove the Neg Pay theory, and these formations will be the next big thing, since Johan has done his homework. Sure, the maps look a little funny, but if it works, we’ll see who’s laughing.
<Fast forward roughly 1 year from when this article was originally published, and therefore 1 year after the Net Pay Theory was conceived and the pilot well was drilled.> April 29th, 2013 Story update: The success, or failure of the Drypool Fowler 2HZ 6-21F5b well in southern Arkansas is controversial at best. As the first leg of the well approached the edge of the expected Neg pay target, many systems, including the EDR and most laptop computers, began to malfunction or stop operating completely. Witnesses also claim most of the drilling fluid was lost, along with the bit, directional tools, and four lengths of drill pipe. Another seemingly unrelated event has some wondering about a possible connection to Switzerland. Simultaneous to the odd activity with this drill, a catastrophe was unfolding at CERN as its Large Hadron Collider was filled with what appeared to be invert drilling fluid with metal fragments. Although most of the scientists were swearing in foreign languages, there is rampant denial that any kind of drilling activity on the other side of the planet could have jeopardized their particle theory experiments. One American physicist known for philandering in Hollywood claims it is merely Ashton Kutcher ‘Punking’ him for sleeping with Demi.