LAS VEGAS, Nevada – The 2013 Renewable Energy Expo that was held Monday and Tuesday of this week at the Lincoln Convention Center, Las Vegas, was a resounding success. Exhibitors from almost every nation were in attendance, and they presented a plethora of novel renewable energy ideas from the practical to the abruptly zany.
Expo attendees saw every imaginable product, from a Dutch company’s creative toilet utilizing microwaves to convert human waste into syngas, which is in-turn used to generate electricity, to a nifty idea of collecting the hot air that exits from Canadian federal senators’ mouths used to heat homes in and around Winnipeg, Manitoba.
But the star of the show was devised in a suburbanite garage over a bottle of Sailor Jerry and some Coke. The invention was dreamed up by a team of scientists from Calgary-based 2P News. The group of 3 engineers, 4 computer scientists, and 2 geologists (who got coffee) successfully demonstrated the revolutionary PowerPants®. The news publisher’s co-founder, Darcy Flowman, went on to say,
We are very excited with PowerPants®. I, and my co-founding partner Antoine, believe that PowerPants® will revolutionize the way people power personal devices, things around them, and even give back to the electricity grid.
According to a brochure made available at the 2P News kiosk, PowerPants® are by all accounts socially modified Dockers pants. The panels that are wired through have special pant legs that are woven with tetro-polythanandrokoy panels and a passive electronic system. One of the pant legs contains a series of copper wire windings, and the other pant leg is equipped with a series of micro rare earth magnets. The act of one pant leg passing by the other excites the copper windings causing the electrons within them to flow. Antoine McGuilicuddy, another 2P News co-founder continues,
The electricity can either be routed to a small rechargeable battery worn by the individual to power smart phones or a pacemaker. Or it can be routed through the pant wiring into electrode plates adapted into the wearers shoes. The electricity could then be transmitted to special floors where it can be used to power lights, a television, microwave oven, or even a blender. In fact, an experiment we conducted in the Utah salt flats show that if you were to run as fast as you can next to an electric vehicle while wearing PowerPants® connected to the car’s charging system, the car’s batteries would not deplete. The system is that effective and efficient.
Speaking outside of the Convention Centre, the company’s Product Development Manager stated that the company is currently developing a new product to add to its environmentally friendly fashion lineup called PowerPants Turbo®.
The turbo variant is very special because it captures the static electricity generated by the space-aged material rubbing together in the upper inner thigh area of the company’s well upholstered clientele. The static charges act like a boost of electricity to the system, further improving performance.
The company plans to market its PowerPants® products through The Shopping Channel and late night infomercials.
Where can I get my mitts on a pair of those pants? I need me a pair for our work Christmas party.
I definitely want a pair of these!
Please send me your full name and credit card information and we will get some in the mail to you. They are one-size-fits-all, so don’t worry about if they’ll fit.