HOUSTON, Texas – According to reports from the Sugarland Chronicle, 3 seismic drones, each worth US$745,000, were shot down on the outskirts of Midland, Texas. The drones were experimental prototypes that were being tested in the area by Calgary-based startup Seismoplane, which is headed by Rhomas Pickletin.

Dr. Rhomas Pickletin

My company spent nearly $3 million and just over 17,000 man-hours, sorry, people-hours, to create these prototypes and it has all come down to this. Some farmer on the outskirts of BFN takes then down and I’m not even sure why. We had approval from the Texas Experimental Seismic Test Flying Authority and everything. This could mark the end of Seisomoplane if we aren’t somehow compensated. – Dr. Pickletin, P.Seis.

The 37-person startup was living out a dream of being the first company to modify a military grade UAV so that it could shoot 3D seismic for its clients and its clients’ competition in a special stealth mode.

But according to a Midland resident, who witnessed the 3 Seismoair 2000 units shot down, the drones were destroyed because they were mistaken for PETA drones which have been spying on farmers in the area in hopes of reporting inhumane farming practices.

Leroy-Earl Jenkins, witness
Leroy-Earl Jenkins, witness

I heard Cooter up der grumblin ’bout them there animal rights marchers when he heard of dem’n their drones tryin to catch farmers doin’ wrong stuff. So Cooter took to shootin’ everything that flew up o’er his head. He even went out shootin’ at a jumbo flying waaay high overhead. – Leroy-Earl Jenkins, witness

Mr. Cooter McCurdy of Midland, TX was arrested without incident and charged with 3 counts of destruction of others’ property. Local law enforcement made it clear to residents of the small farming town that this practice will not be tolerated.

A grainy image of Mr. McCurdy shooting into the air. Image from video taken by neighbour.

After learning of this development, PETA’s VP of Drone Intelligence decided to deploy a fleet of its own camera and microphone equipped drones, which were untouched over the Texas skies. This reconnaissance mission recorded evidence that resulted in 67 local farmers being arrested and charged with offences including indecent relationships with farm animals.



    • Is there something wrong with this name, Phil? Rhomas Pickletin. That name was selected by an Internet random name generator. I promise.


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