SAGUENAY, Quebec – Amid the seemingly relentless controversy over how to safely transport oil across Canada and to the United States, Montreal-based Quebec Talaminog Gatineau Engineering has approval from its Board of Directors to start working on a new transport system that should keep the environmentalists firmly at bay.

The firm’s lofty goal is to effectively suspend a 15′ diameter pipeline 100′ off the ground, and cover it with special paint that changes its colour to match the sky behind it, no matter the weather conditions. The company’s Chief Executive, Mr. Calice Tabarnac, explains,

Mr. Calice Tabarnac
Mr. Calice Tabarnac

“Our solution is ideal because it keeps the oil away from the ground, which is where most of the damage occurs in an oil spill. So there is no chance that our Skyline system will contaminate soil and get into the drinking water table” – Mr. Tabarnac, President QTGE

According to the company’s press release, the 1257-person engineering and environmental  consulting firm is currently in the front end engineering design stage of implementing the system, and construction of the Skyline is scheduled to start in early Q1 2015.

The company plans to start construction in Fort McMurray and terminate the first Skyline in Kitimat, British Columbia. QTGE will custom fabricate the specialized 100′ carbon composite stands in its Montreal factory, then have the pipes shipped out west via rail. Once the stands have been erected, it will contract the services of 2 Russian-made Rostvertol Yak V 22 super helicopters to run the pipe and weld the sections of Skyline.

From a regulatory point of view, the company was able to exploit a loophole in the regulations by having the Skyline sit above 10′, which is the highest that the regulatory body ever figured a company would consider building a pipeline.  At 100′, the Skyline has no regulations to meet, and can essentially be built to whatever construction standards the Quebec firm deems appropriate.

Just some arbitrary pipeline

Perhaps the project’s most attractive feature is its ability to effectively become invisible thanks to a specialized nano-tetrahyde-chemdipography particle technology paint developed by Germany’s BALLS corporation. Another key feature is the condom-like pipe sleeve technology that was borrowed from a project that 2P News reported last year. “The Skyline condom will keep any spills in the air, where it cannot do much harm,” continues Mr. Tabarnac.

Opponents to the proposal for oil being transported 100′ above the ground in a nearly invisible pipeline are furious over the idea. Sunshine Daffodil Rogering, Chairman of the Board at Greenpeace, could not contain her anger as she met with 2P News field corespondent Rodecker Smith, who was on location in Quebec.

Sunshine Rogers
Sunshine Rogering

“An invisible pipeline in the air that planes and birds cannot see? Rodecker, you have to be kiddin’ me. That is the most absurd thing I have heard in a long time. Wow. “Hey pilot man, you see that smashy thing we just hit with our 747, it’s spraying oil, coooool!”  Do you see those 8 kids across the street playing in the park? They’re mine, so I can tell you point blank that condoms break, so wrapping this pipe in condoms is nonsense. This is not a pipeline, IT’S GONNA BE A FREAKIN’ SPRINKLER!” – Sunshine Rogers, Greenpeace




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