CALGARY, Alberta – An oil and gas accountant is under scrutiny this week after what some would call a major SOCKS control failure. The quiet accountant allowed invoices to be coded and approved for what became an out of control situation at a drilling site. The junior bean counter with Mexitex Petroleum, Ethan Winer, describes the accounting fiasco.

Ethan Winer

I was just sitting in my office, staring at this week’s Accounting News Journal and Calculator Quarterly when an engineer and a geologist rushed into my office. They stated they had invoices that had to be coded and approved ASAP and not approving them would adversely impact our new Brackes’ well.

I thought it was just another invoice for life jackets, water toys, and goggles since our wells cut 98% water right off the bat, and the excess water is used in pools for the field guys to enjoy. Anyhow, I began examining the invoice and noticed they attempted to code things under made up minor accounts like stripper drill poles, frac cocaine, wrestling mud, and on-site exotic labour – what idiots. – Ethan Winer, P.Acct.

Mr. Winer then began questioning the engineer and geologist, and according to him, the slightest challenge caused the professionals to get angry. Eyewitnesses told 2P News that the geologist began throwing pieces of core samples while saying this is limestone, as the engineer began muttering something about reservoir density, and how the situation is approaching critical pressure.

The accountant continued, “What else could I do, these guys were determined and threatened to have me transferred over to Bendovus Energy if I didn’t comply and I couldn’t imagine anything worse than that.” The irate geologist had the following to say about the situation.

John Cummingtonite, P.Geo.

These guys are just our little minions, number crunchers if you will – they should DO WHAT I SAY!. These little accountants are pushovers and I knew if we gave him enough geologist Mumbo jumbo he would approve the invoices and cut me a cheque. We have big plans tonight, and no accountant is going to stop us. – John Cummingtonite, P.Geo., Staff Geologist, Mexitex Petroleum

It was later reported at the 35-19W5 Neighbours-Walmart drilling location, the festivities were beginning to unfold.

mud wrestling
Mr. Cummingtonite and the engineer having fun in inert drilling mud

The team had girls performing strip shows on the derrick floor, while the engineers stared blankly into the drilling monitors muttering every few minutes. According to accounts from the Site Supervisor, there were girls and guys wrestling in the mud tanks using high grade drilling mud and geologists were doing body shots and bumps off the exotic labour.

The news quickly circulated in Calgary’s oil and gas industry while the accountant was heavily scrutinized and even lost his new calculator and invoice software; Mr. Cummingtonite and the engineer continue to deny any wrong doing.

<This article was submitted by our friend from right at home in Calgary. Thanks DB!>


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