OTTAWA, Ontario – Recent meetings and coincidental crossed paths between the leaders of North America and Cuba have not occurred by chance.  It has come to the attention of undercover reporters with 2P News that the meetings are indeed the precursors to a major North American Energy Alliance.  The details are still vague, and political spinsters are doing their best to thwart our endeavours, but we will prevail.  Here is what we know.

Harper and Obama are proposing a new alliance with Cuba in order to edge out OPEC nations that are currently thorns in their sides. The new contracts aim to increase domestic oil sales and drive up demand for North American oil, thereby increasing the price of West Texas Intermediate far above the current Brent pricing and create a Western Energy Superpower.  By creating an artificial market and suspending the import of Venezuelan crude, the Americas may succeed in overcoming the current problem facing the oil and gas industry.  

Of course, the deal is being sponsored by Halliburton and Baker Hughes, most likely Schlumberger as well, but we cannot confirm those details at this point.

Clyde Walderpinne, new-school GLA Farmer
Clyde Walderpinne, new-school LGBT Farmer

I was at the next table in Denny’s when overheard Harper tell that Castro fella he wanted to sell them some oil and if he agreed, Harper would give him playoff tickets and a weekend at the Banff Springs Hotel.  It was kind of odd, but I didn’t think nuthin of it at the time.  I thought ol’ Stevey was just being nice.  But that Castro fella, he was a real peach.  Just smiled and talked about some truckload of cigars he had shipped up.  – Clyde Walderpinne of Spencerville, Ontario



While firm plans are obviously still top secret, 2P reporters were able to learn that the deal also included Mexico to some extent, but predominantly to put several major pipelines through the country and off through the Gulf, most likely using the same concept as the Trans-Pacific Chinese pipeline.  

While Pemex is currently remaining silent on the issue, Rodecker Smith has been sent to investigate further, assuming he can stay out of the all-inclusive pubs and discos.

Proposed pipelines through Mexico will resemble this artists rendering
Proposed pipelines through Mexico will resemble this artists rendering

Screen Shot 2015-04-12 at 11.19.02 PMWe think this is a major play by The Americas and we won’t stand for it.  If they think just by selling some oil to Cuba and fuelling those old cars they drive that they can create a market full of demand they are wrong.  We will not allow it.  We control the price of oil in this world, and every other world for that matter.  I refuse to allow anyone else that kind of power. – Saudi oil minister Ali al-Naimi


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