Will banning geoscientists worldwide protect the masses?

North America, Earth – With recent developments and controversies surrounding the truth, science, and political opinion, large swaths of ideas and knowledge are being purged from social media platforms worldwide.  The latest such eradication comes as all geoscientists on the planet have been removed and banned from all social media giants including the likes of Facebook, Twitter, Google+, Banner, SpeakEase, WaterCooler, GeoloTits, GneissAss, WhetYourApatite, CleavageAndJoints, IncelAndLovingIt, and of course Tinder.

According to the associated press, a UN-based committee with advisors from the largest of the platformers has deemed that geoscientists know too much history, interpret too much from data, and could sway the world’s entire population in any direction they wish if they put their minds to it.

The North American regional director for the World Organization of Petroleum Societies (WOOPS), Daniel Trumperdermis, stands behind the geoscientists in his group and says he will fight back.

Daniel Trumperdermis, P.Eng., serious about WOOPS

“What a bunch of censorship bologna! WOOPS uses facebook to communicate with all of our members across the globe – how will we possibly get through to our beloved geoscientists?!?! Contrary to popular belief, we actually need those earth-science types. I won’t stand for this shit!” – Mr. TrumpeRdermis

Worried that geoscientists could potentially destabilize the world’s population with a few tweets of Facebook videos of rock shows (no, not the kind with music and singing), they are unconditionally banned from those platforms effective immediately.  What is surprising is the further move to ban them from all cellular and digital communication as well.

Major cell phone carriers in North America, Europe, China and North Korea have also terminated all cell phone calling and data usage for geoscientists using lists scraped from LinkedIn and Facebook, with some contribution coming from AAPG, APEGA, and CSPG, WOOPS, along with their foreign peer professional organizations.

Geoscientists will now be forced to use primitive technology for all communications.  Rotary landline phones if still available in some developing nations, carrier pigeons in large cities with historical links to such messaging, and of course overseas chat by way of messages in bottles.  In some parts of the United States, telegraphs may be re-worked so there can be some method of communicating country wide as geologists try to coordinate the oil and gas industry.

As the story develops, 2P News is also going to restrict Antoine Guilly’s access to dictation only and allow him partial publishing access to site in an effort to curb his idiocy.


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