CALGARY, Alberta – Breaking news out of Springbank Regional Airport today (located just west of Calgary): the Malaysian Airlines MH370 777 that went missing over 8 days ago was identified after landing near Calgary late Sunday night.
Piloted by a crew of aircraft delivery persons, the repainted and re-tasked plane was purchased last Thursday by Bendovus Energy’s CEO Dèng Xiǎopíng Dòngbīn as a replacement for the company’s aging C17 corporate plane. The sale took place after Deng saw a listing on North Korean Craigslist and thought the asking price of $200,000 Bitcoin was too good of a deal to pass up.
Bendovus needs a new plane to get to and from meetings with our allies. I have been perusing the classifieds for a good deal and when I saw this I could not pass it up. I did not realize or put any thought into the possibility it might be the missing plane, as I rarely watch news that doesn’t concern Bendovus directly. It did arouse my curiosity that the plane was being sold with a full passenger compliment, but I thought they might make good staff here at Bendovus for the right price. – Dèng Xiǎopíng Dòngbīn
The plane was listed last Monday and most media and Internet personalities considered it a bad prank. When Bendovus money managers called about the sale, it seemed legitimate.
After negotiating a final price, and transferring the Bitcoin payment via PayPal, the plane was routed to Ghana for a new corporate paint job and replacement transponders that transmit “Plane of the Gods” to all airports.
The plane was then delivered through multiple countries on the path to its final destination near Calgary. In a pleasant surprise, all passengers and an extra canine were found to be in great health and good spirits, although each had gained some weight due to constant meals of excellent Korean BBQ.
We were given very good food, and each of us had our own movie machine, and drinks, it wasn’t bad at all. They would not let us phone home or have Internet, but some of us work very hard and needed a break from the world anyway. – Nancy Choo, passenger in seat 11G.
Although legal issues abound, it seems that a deal has been struck to allow Bendovus Energy to keep the plane. The company will finally cash in the bottles in its recycling bins and buy out Malaysian Airlines. After the deal is completed, Bendovus Energy has announced that each senior manager will have full use of a passenger plane for business travel. Rumors of a new Beau Tower Airport are circulating, with one possible runway to be located on the soon to be paved Bow River.
[Note from the Editors: Joking aside, we here at 2P News trust and sincerely hope that MH370 is found intact, with the passengers alive and well, so that they can be reunited with their families.]