Beachfront property

CALGARY, Alberta – Twenty-seven professional geologists in the Calgary area were recently fired from their positions with Oil and Gas operators when it was discovered they were using company resources to target and predict the best locations to retire once Climate Change altered current models and created prime tropical ocean front land locations.

The underground network of geologists, all working together from 7 companies, were targeting the most intensive operations contributing to Climate Change, in an effort to terraform currently inexpensive property areas into future high-value land. By focusing their companies exploitation of certain high-impact plays and operations, they could effectively predict and model what land regions would become high value once the environmental changes had effectively reduced most coastal paradises to ruins.

Misty Perdune

“What they were doing was immoral. Buying up land in less than desirable regions, hoping, and shaping climate changes in an effort to improve their net worth. It is downright appalling. While they may have only been able to affect small changes to the global problem, the fact that they were speculating the futures of millions for profit is abhorrent.” – Misty Perdune, The Climate Hacktavist

According to documents the police found in the trunk of the group leader’s special edition 2010 Toyota Prius, the geologists started their process by studying low lying areas under threat of submersion from oceanic rise within the next 20-30 years. The properties behind the expected high water mark would then be prime oceanfront real estate, and right now, arguably worthless. The geologists would then buy it all up for future resale.

An engineer, who is speaking on conditions of anonymity, spoke to 2P News about the case.

Alix Retread, P.Eng., reservoir engineer

“What struck me as very peculiar is that John (not his real name), appeared to be very, very busy, and we all know that’s never the case for geologists. One day when John went for his customary mid-morning 90-minute #2 bathroom break he left his computer unlocked. After clearing cookie crumbs from the keyboard and removing hand grease from mouse, I poked around his machine and could see no fewer than 10 real-estate buy & sell websites open, along with a dark web browser pointing to instructions on how to get intimate with ladies without talking to or making eye contact with them.” – Alix Retread, reservoir engineer

One early region the group had purchased, while outside of the scope of sea level rise, was the region expected to become coastal when Vancouver Island falls into the ocean. The expected earthquake sequence some geologists fear would likely sink the island and other coastal communities, leaving a new frontier for Hotels and Marinas along what would be a new coastline.

While that purchase was completed back in 2014, the new expanse of the project includes acquiring swamp real estate in the southern US, and desert properties on the western interior basin of California. Although there are no legal proceedings against the group of geoscientists, they have been banned from participating in exploration and exploitation of carbon producing projects until 2050 by their professional association.


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