OTTAWA, Ontario – Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau issued a proclamation today declaring the Fandango to be the new national dance, replacing whatever it used to be. The proclamation was immediately denounced by the National Dance Council of Canada as being uncanadian.
The Wikipedia entry for it states:
Fandango is a lively couples dance originating from Portugal and Spain, usually in triple metre, traditionally accompanied by guitars, castanets, or hand-clapping. Fandango can both be sung and danced. Sung fandango is usually bipartite: it has an instrumental introduction followed by “variaciones”. Sung fandango usually follows the structure of “cante” that consist of four or five octosyllabic verses (coplas) or musical phrases (tercios). Occasionally, the first copla is repeated.
No one at 2P News has any idea what this means, but it sounds official as hell.
When asked what brought on this decision, Trudeau replied, “I love Procol Harum’s A Whiter Shade of Pale and the opening stanza is
We skipped a light fandango
Turned cartwheels ‘cross the floor
I was feeling kinda seasick
But the crowd called out for more
The room was humming harder
As the ceiling flew away
When we called out for another drink
The waiter brought a tray
And so it was that later
As the miller told his tale
That her face at first just ghostly
Turned a whiter shade of pale
“I connect with these lyrics on so many levels. I mean, if I turned cartwheels I’d be sick too. Just like everybody in BC, after a few tokes the room starts humming and the ceiling flies away, especially after combining it with a couple of six packs of Moosepeace. I look at Sophie Gee and think the last time she saw the sun was decades ago and is paler than white.
Prime Minister Trudeau continued, “However, it all starts with the fandango. We might have to import a few hundred dance instructors from Spain to get things started, but I’m confident that Canadians will soon be proficient enough to take over.”
