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BREA, California – Many movies and much literature make out the 1960’s to be a time of rampant drug use.  I was there, and well, that was true, especially on university campuses.  Marijuana, cocaine, psilocybin and LSD were not exactly abundant but were available (sometimes with poor quality) with a little help from your friends.  A little-known fact is that use of these substances was also indulged in by many faculty members and researchers.  Want proof?  This following is a list of actual papers and quotes from papers written in the 60’s.  [Editor’s Note:  Yes, they’re real.]  The parts that just might be drug-induced are highlighted in red.

[Historical Note from Sir William:  So why is lysergic acid diethylamide called LSD instead of LAD?  Because the name in the inventor’s native language is lyserg säure diethylamid.]

Goard, K. I., Infection by Leptospira Pomona Contracted from Pigs by Mouth-to-Mouth Resuscitation, Med. J. Australia, 1961, pp. 897-898 (June 17).

Waugh, D. and van der Hoeven, E., Fine Structure of the Human Adult Female Breast, Lab. Invest., pp. 220-228.

The fine structure of the resting and of the pregnant breast in the human female is similar to that described in the virgin, resting and pregnant mammary gland in the mouse, rat and cow.”

Kline, N. S., You Can’t Get There from Here, Indian J. Psychiatry, 1959, pp. 18-25.

“…a researcher is a paranoid, noisy, obsessive, compulsive long-shot gambler who simply doesn’t know when to leave well enough alone.”

Eder, P., Brit. J. Med. Psychol., 1962, p. 81.

We are born mad, acquire morality and become stupid and unhappy.  Then we die.

Mitchel, D., Wyndham, C. H., Atkins, A. R., Vermuelen, A. J., Hofmeyer, H. S., Strydom, N. B., and Hodgson, T., Direct Measurements of the Thermal Responses of Nude Resting Men in Dry Environments, Pflugers Arch. Euro. J. Physiology, 1968, pp. 303-304.

Pare, C. M., Monoamine Oxidase Inhibition and Brain Monoamines in Clinical Conditions, Biochemical Society Agenda, Nov. 1970, Dagenham, N. Y., p. 4.

Studies on brain amines in patients who commit suicide have been somewhat disappointing.

Weber, W. T. and Taylor, W. T., General Biology, Van Nostrand, Production N. J. 1968, p. 3.

Paleontology is a science which deals with the study of extinct plants and animals that survive today as fossils.”

Nalivkin, D. V., The Geology of the USSR, (Translated by S. I. Tomkeieff), Oxford Univ. Press, 1960, p. 153.

Great progress has been made in the study of the bowels of our country…Great and prolific is our motherland and much wealth is hidden in her bosom.”

Norins MD, A. L., Sting of a Small Caliber Bullet, Archives of Dermatology 96 (6): 701 Dec. 1967.

Most people who are shot realize what has occurred.”

Griedberg, E. C., Hadi, S. M. and Goldthwait, D. A., Endonuclease II of E. Coli, J. B. C, 1969, 244, 5883.

The recovery of enzyme was not calculated for this gradient but in a similar experiment it was slightly more than 100%.”

Schneiderman, M. A., The Proper Size of a clinical Trial, “Grandma’s Strudel” Method, Jour. New Drugs, 1964, 4, p. 3.

Although clinical trials are not apple strudel, too often they leave a bad taste.”

Montague, A., Natural Selection and the Form of Breast in Human Females, J. A. M. A., 1962, 180, pp. 826-827.

A factor that may have correlatedly assisted in the development of the female breast is the fact that in most nonliterate societies, and especially in areas in which the nights are cold, fat women would tend to be preferred to thin ones.  Love in a cold climate is considerably assisted by central heating.  Eskimos, for example, always prefer fat women to thin ones.  The forerunners of central heating in prehistoric times were fat ladies.  Fat ladies would have large breasts, and the premium placed on fatness itself would in this way have further contributed to the development of the breast.”

Snyder, Walter S., The Estimation of a Body Burden of PU from Urinalysis Data, 7th Annual Bioassay and Analytical Chem. Meeting, Argonne National Lab, October 12-13, 1961.

Peaceful Uses of Nuclear Explosives, Nuclear News, Vol. 11, No. 3, p. 29 (March, 1968).

Development of hydro power in the desert of North Africa awaits only the introduction of water.

Problems in the Urban Environment, Harvard-MIT Joint Center for Urban Studies (1968).

The trouble with the poor is that they don’t have enough money.”

Appel, J. B., The Rat:  An Important Subject, J. Exp. Analysis Behavior, 1964, 7, p. 355.

In addition to living in a relative short time rats tend to become ill and sometimes interrupt experiments by dying.”



Our thanks to the Journal of Irreproducible Results.


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